AIBU to think dating after 40 as a woman is hard?

[user1490465531]

AIBU to think that the general rule of thinking is that once you get to 40 your not fanciable anymore?
By that I mean not chatted up or really any attention from the opposite sex.
Guess it wouldn't bother me if I was happily with someone but I'm single soon to be 40 and really thinking I've left it to late to get my happy ever after.
Must add I have a dd so not worried about the child thing but would like to meet a partner to settle down with.

I know it seems a sad thing to focus on and I do have an active lifestyle just been single a long long time and thinking I should of done something about it sooner.

Don't be disheartened. I know lots of 40-somethings who found love, relationship and marriage after reaching 40. Sure, the pool is smaller but I think this is important. The quality is better.
Besides, at 40, you tend to know what you want and don't want in a man.

Hope some 40+ people who have found love can share their experiences to cheer me up

It's not that your not fanciable anymore, it's just most Men over 30 want you ger Women. It isn't about appearance.

If you join a dating site, your inbox will be full of Men who don't have leave-to-remain in the country and cranks.

There might be a few genuine Men among them, but it's sifting through all the trash.

Tbh, its a matter of luck.

I married my DH when I was 53. We met at work.

The best way to find a man later in life is by chance. But you can create chances! Joining sporting clubs, book readings, wine evenings, art shows and stuff like that. You don't necessarily have to actively "date"

Im thinking Internet dating even though I hate it

YABU. You're still fanciable over 40. Just men in that age range too.
I think dating as a lp is hard though.

I do tend to prefer them younger all the men I've fancied have been under 40 don't really fancy men much older than myself.

And my dd older now so easier for me to date hence why I've left it so long to date.

I would think that dating for a man after 40 is just as hard, why would you think they have it any easier?.

It's not so much that I'm not fanciable! It's that the man who'd consider me as a potential long term partner are so unfanciable themselves.

Nope, it’s rubbish. I started internet dating at 43 & I didn’t experience any real issues (well the usual dick pics & a lot of younger men wanting an ‘Cougar’ 🤢) but met DP when i was 44 & we’ve been blissfully happy ever since.

Although saying this, I've got to know somebody in real life and he is 8 years younger than I am and seems to be interested in me. I'm not sure. Yet. But at least because I know him through a thing I can just continue getting to know him. Nobody making any moves.

I found internet dating awful because it's so age -related. Like your age defines your worth MUCH MORE on OLD. But if you meet somebody in real life you have a vague idea what age brack they're in but it doesn't define their value quite so categorically.

Yes but do these 50 yr olds get younger women.
50 is still to old for me and most men of 50 look their age and worse

I'm 51 and I think I'm still pretty fanciable as does my DP. I separated from ex-h at 42 and met DP when I was 44. We actually met on Twitter, got chatting, exchanged photos and after a few telephone calls we met up for our first date.

We've been together and blissfully happy ever since. The man is totally wonderful.

I therefore firmly believe that love after 40 is not only possible but can be truly magical. He's the same age as me but we do both look pretty young for our age (sorry sounds a bit boasty!)

I got married last week at 40. Meet DH at work. He's 30. I didn't think I'd ever get married tbh. I've had long term relationships, just didn't think I'd meet anyone I'd want to marry.

I met my lovely DP when I was 50. We've been together just over 5 years now.

I was with a shitty ex for 5 years, finished with him and then took a long break from men before meeting current DP.

I have a hobby and I also have a good social life. So although it wasn't in my mind to meet anybody in a hurry, I knew I would meet someone I'd click with eventually as I wasn't sitting home between 4 walls.

Age wasn't a barrier for me.

Btw DP is past 50, handsome and well groomed with a mellow personality, and younger women do hit on him. So yes older men can get younger women but doesn't mean they all want to. He prefers women nearer his own age so, here we are.

I separated at 46, dated some. Met dh at a house party when I was 48. He was 43. We married at 56/51. Still blissfully happy at 70/65.

I’m 44 and 18 months out of a 20 year marriage. I don’t want to date right now and the idea of internet dating fills me with utter dread so I understand where OP is coming from.

The only story I know about a woman over 40 finding love was the one my husband left me for. So hey, I guess it does happen

I think it's harder perhaps because you may struggle to find a friend to go out with to a nice bar. And that friend might be married and not want to spend the evening being chatted up/ watching you get chatted up.

Older people tend to meet in couples and not invite single women no matter how long you've been friends, as I found to my horror and naive disbelief.

I expect men have the same problem, so be online dating simply because they don't want to sit alone looking stood up.

So clubs and events / hobbies and interests are good places to meet new friends / partner? At least it will be a nice evening. Or OLD with caution, avoiding chancers - I suppose if you approach it carefully you might meet someone nice.

It is chance but you can create chances! I really like that @busybarbara