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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Unwanted advances AIBU?

11 replies

FuriouserandFuriouser50 · 05/12/2018 19:07

Had to name change as this is quite outing.

Long standing customer at work made advances to me the other week and I am absolutely livid about it. The man is in a long term relationship, however, I have known secretly that this man was attracted to me but I never said anything as I am not in the slightest bit attracted to him. I have never spoken to this man away from the work environment, am not on social media, and he doesn't have my phone number. I have never once paid this man a compliment or ever done anything to make him think I was interested. A few months ago I noticed his DP who id always gotten along great with had suddenly become off with me. He kept trying to be physically near me so I kept my distance as I felt awkward and in all honesty really uncomfortable. A couple of weeks ago he confronts me saying why are you avoiding me. I tell him I feel very uncomfortable around him. He tells me he wants to be with me. I look him dead in the face and said that will never ever happen. He then says "why?"
It's that "why?" that's really boiled my piss. I don't feel like I owe him any explanation. If I'd have said I have a DP then he wouldn't have questioned me. They can respect another man but if a woman says no they have to keep on? This piece of shit is treating his DP like a fool. Am I wrong in being angry about this?

OP posts:
Omzlas · 05/12/2018 19:11

Can you speak to your boss about this customer?

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 05/12/2018 19:12

I had this when I was younger. Some guy was keen on me but I totally felt nothing in return. He got quite nasty when I rejected him.

It was like I had no right to reject him because I was single. Like I dont have a choice.

Thejezebel · 05/12/2018 19:17

I had a boss do this to me despite knowing I had a partner (who was admittedly an arsehole and boss knew about that). I also had the Why?
He was fine when I just said that I'm just not attracted to you and didn't bother me again.

Aquamarine1029 · 05/12/2018 19:18

You should tell your boss everything that has gone on and tell them you no longer want any contact with this customer.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 05/12/2018 19:20

He tried to chat you up, you weren't interested. It happens all over the world. Perfectly normal.

Froglette16 · 05/12/2018 19:24

Just create a partner, tell your boss to back you up and tell the stalking loser that you’re in a relationship. No details necessary but will get him off your back.

FuriouserandFuriouser50 · 05/12/2018 19:41

Tali It's that entitlement that's wound me up and I am concerned it will turn nasty. Unfortunately i am certain my boss wont take it seriously so I'll have to go through his wife.
For those saying create a partner why should I have to do that just to save someone else's ego? Everybody knows I'm divorced and single so why lie?

OP posts:
Alfie190 · 05/12/2018 20:13

I would maybe just wait and see. He tried to chat you up, you weren't interested. Hopefully that will be the end of it, just as it normally is.

clockworklime · 06/12/2018 06:21

Log it with 101

gamerwidow · 06/12/2018 06:29

It’s fine for him to chat you but as soon as you let him know you are not interested that should be the end of it. ‘No’ isn’t an invitation to negotiate it means no!

Justanothernameonthepage · 06/12/2018 06:49

Definitely get it on record boss/hr.
And I'd recommend a blank stare if he asks again with an 'you do realise that me being polite to a customer is a requirement? I'm not interested in you and you're making this a bit weird and making me feel very uncomfortable so I'm going to ask someone else to serve you.'

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