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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want dd doing this homework?

73 replies

upsideup · 05/12/2018 18:27

DD2(11) is in Y7. Homework she's been set is to record everything she eats over 3 day's, discuss how well balanced each day's diet is making links to the eat well plate and then to write a one day meal plan you could follow to make your diet healthier.

I feel really uncomfortable about her doing this and it being set to this age group. At 11 it's surely the parent's responsibility to be providing a healthy diet and the children shouldn't be worrying about what they are eating and if it is healthy enough. I can also imagine it will create the perfect opportunity for kids to compare and be unkind about what and how much someone else is eating and also for some to become obsessed with counting what they are eating or feel they have to lie or change their diet.

AIBU to think this is a bad idea to set to 11/12 year old? Would anyone else be uncomfortable with it?

I have struggled with eating disorders in the past so willing to accept that I am over thinking and projecting my own feeling's.

OP posts:

RebelWitchFace · 05/12/2018 19:50

We have kids that eat just crisps for dinner. Kids whose parents ring the school crying and begging to give them a sandwich or something because they have nothing to hive them. Kids who have an atrocious diet but have absolutely no control over it. Kids sent in with a slice of cake for lunch. Kids who have chaotic ,awful home lives. Kids that are carers and try to their best. Kids with special needs that have a beige diet because that's what they can tolerate.

Let's face it even at 11 there's little control a kid has over what actually is in the house to eat. But I guess it's easy to forget about them when fridges are full, your kids are consulted on what they like and have the opportunity to add or cut things from their diet.

Wooblewooble · 05/12/2018 19:51

I agree with you OP I battled an eating disorder throughout school and we got set this homework but in yr10 and it most definitely is triggering and anxiety inducing. Children should be taught about healthy eating but recording it for scrutiny by others is wrong imo.

tolerable · 05/12/2018 19:54

hmmmmmmmm..ok. How is the diary info shared? presumeable every kid will have three daily intakes and be able to determin which of the 3 could be healthier.is it a written excersise or a round the room declaration??? i had eating disorders.actually probli still do...so..would have automatically manipulated a plausible(verifiable if askt mum)confessional........and missed huge amounts of info..cos..knew its no right. presumeably aged 11 discussions are inclusive of adult who would recognise dangerzones(Am not familiar with teach environment ,but surely an illfed,unhealthy 11yr old /potential victim of bullyish stuff wouldnt have the luxury of it not being likely // apparent?

theonlyKevin · 05/12/2018 19:59

YABVU

my 4 year old knows that a healthy meal must contain vegetables, and that fat, sugar and junk food are bad for you. My youngest ask to go to McDonald, the answer is no, it's unhealthy and bad for you. we do go, but not as a weekly trip!

By 11, surely they must have the basics by then!

It's sad that some children come from neglectful homes, but you can't expect the teachers to only teach around them and ignore everyone else. That will apply to everything, most homework and "research" include weekends activities around here. You can't stop that just because some parents have a different lifestyle.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 05/12/2018 20:00

I think on balance this is ok, although I'm always a bit sceptical about 'personal details ' homework '
In science when my dd was instead 7 they all weighed themselves and recorded the data (all girls school)
I was fucking livid!

sparkles212 · 05/12/2018 20:01

YANBU. There are many ways and means of teaching healthy eating. Recording every last morsel for 3 days doesn't seem a healthy approach IMO. Im not saying it would cause an eating disorder in a child but it's bound to leave something in the back of the mind waiting to be triggered off down the line for those who are more vulnerable and body conscious. Year 7s are at a very impressionable age as it is.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 05/12/2018 20:02

*in year not instead.

RebelWitchFace · 05/12/2018 20:04

and that fat, sugar and junk food are bad for you.

Well that's wrong. Fat and sugar aren't bad for you and actually are part of a balanced diet. In moderation of course. And he will learn that at school.

April2020mom · 05/12/2018 20:10

That sounds like a nice easy homework task to do.
The whole point of the assignment is to encourage children to make informed decisions about their diet. Stop projecting your feelings onto your child. Children really need to learn about food in general and develop their cooking skills.
This is about promoting independence too. Use the homework as a starting point to have a discussion about self control and taking responsibility for their health too. If you are still feeling worried about it please talk to the teacher. Also it might also help seeing a therapist or counsellor for a while.
When we are at restaurants I talk to the kids about healthy food. I advise them to make good decisions not just with money but with their lives. Nutrition is important. This is like not having discussions about sex education honestly.
Both of them are important topics to talk about.

RebelWitchFace · 05/12/2018 20:10

And poverty is a lifestyle now?

Yes of course, why try to work around the most vulnerable children in class? After all they have the exact opportunities and privileges as everyone else and kids that aren't vulnerable don't have society and life in general adapted to their needs. Oh...wait.

Examples of considerate homework... meal plan a dinner/lunchbox, little essay on why all food types are necessary, why is the eat well plate a balanced meal, plan and then make at school a healthy snack/smoothie. Plan a restaurant menu. Plan a menu for an athlete/budybuilder/military person/average person.

recovery18 · 05/12/2018 20:14

YABU

This task will make her reflect on her eating in a positive way and is an excellent way to ensure the information is absorbed and retained.

When she does the task to improve what she had, that could be something like drinking more water, or including more dairy products, or more green vegetables or whatever. They won't be sitting there talking about calorie counting and ripping each other apart. It' about nutrition.

Your DD is presumably already making her own decisions at times (friends houses/parties) about what she eats without your interference and this will increase rapidly over the next few years. The more she understands about healthy eating the better surely?

Topseyt · 05/12/2018 20:14

I'd be uncomfortable with this. Not because I think it is a bad idea for children to learn about healthy eating, but because I have a DD who has been grappling with various MH issues including a possible eating disorder. She would have struggled with this.

agnurse · 05/12/2018 20:16

I don't see a problem with it. I had to complete a similar assignment in my second year of nursing school (nutrition class). When I was in high school - I think about Grade 10 - I did a Fast Foods class. We were required to go to various web sites for fast food restaurants and put together one healthy and one high fat meal from each. The Fast Foods course was also open to junior high students (Grade 7-9, so about your DD's age).

As long as the children aren't being asked to compare results, and as long as they're not focused on calories, I don't see a problem with it. As PPs have said, it's important for children to start learning about healthy eating early on.

cherish123 · 05/12/2018 20:16

This is fairly standard homework for Health/PSHE. I would say more primary than secondary. Given the nation's problems with obesity, it's quite a revelant and useful piece of work.

Caprisunorange · 05/12/2018 20:19

Excellent posts by RebelWitchFace

Anonalongadingdong123 · 05/12/2018 20:22

I don't see the need for children to bring in food diaries for all to see. Discuss case studies instead. How cruel for a child to plan their perfect balanced meal only to be told when they get home they can't get it. Children should absolutely be taught about food nutrition but I agree not in this manner.

Molakai · 05/12/2018 20:32

Absolutely agree with RebelWitchFace

There are so many other ways of achieving the objective without the risk of humiliation or anxiety for some students.

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 05/12/2018 20:32

I don't think I'd be comfortable with this either tbh. Absolutely fine with them learning about healthy eating of course but recording, discussing and then improving their own diets? No. I think it could be done in a way that doesn't involve the children discussing and likely critiquing each other's diet. I also agree Rebel makes some very valid points. Overall I think this is probably well intended but ill considered.

missyB1 · 05/12/2018 20:40

Ds had this homework recently (but he is only year 5). They took their food diaries in and discussed them as a class and the teacher apparently commented that our meals seemed a bit “carb heavy”
To be fair I couldn’t disagree ds wasn’t worried and neither was I as he knows overall we eat a well balanced diet, and the diary proved that.
He enjoyed the homework and learnt a lot from it.

EtVoilaBrexit · 05/12/2018 20:42

The problem is that in Y7, they are starting to be much more independent with what they eat.
You can put the best meals in the table, it’s only one meal in the evening. The rest, lunch time, snacks in the way back home etc... is the pupil choice (and responsibility).

That means they also need to start thinking by themselves and make choices as to what they eat.
The son of a friend of mine was getting overweight. After a trip to the dietician, he was told that eating biscuits and a slice of cake etc..l wasn’t good and he needed to cut down. His gran was still providing plenty of biscuits and cake after school. So he had to exercise his own self control and decide NOT to have that slice of cake. He was 9yo.

I think 11yo is plenty old enough to make them responsible for what they eat as well as make them aware if the consequence of not eating well (its not just about your weight! See the teenagers who have type 2 diabetes but are still slim).

As for the role of parents.... well I’m pretty sure most parents don’t provide a balanced diet (I’m talking statistic there). Having the children doing that sort of exercise might increase awareness on the parents side. Or reinforce to the child they CAN eat a different way.

cosytoaster · 05/12/2018 20:48

When so many people rely on food banks and kids are living in poverty I don't think it's ok to demand lists of what they eat, why is it bad how could it be better

Totally agree with this. It's an important topic but there must be a more neutral way to teach it.

EtVoilaBrexit · 05/12/2018 20:49

Rebel I agree about children that have chaotic homes etc..l but as I said, over 3 days at school, they will also have had lunch at school and an opportunity to eat in a different way/take responsibility for their own diet.
Teaching children about food wo asking them to look at their own diet does nothing to improve the child’s diet unfortunately.

What the OP is talking about is very different though. She isntnworried about the child from a chaotic home. She is worried about her child, who, for all intend and purposes, should have a balanced diet, might feel uncomfortable making the critique of HER OWN diet. The Op might well actually feel uncomfortable that SHE will be judged on how balanced the meals she is providing are (see the fact she thinks that at that age, the parents are still more or less 100% responsible for the child diet). That’s a very different issue.

MondayImInLove · 05/12/2018 21:40

Great homework! I would be very interested in the feedback on our family meals, who wouldn’t??

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