I live with hubby and 2 girls 15 & 5. Our house is built onto the side of my parents house with an interconnecting door between the 2 houses. We are a very close family and regularly spend time “next door” with my parents.
Every year we all celebrate Xmas together next door, my family, parents, brother, sister and nephew. For the past 5 years we have been struggling with my brother who is a drug user, he has serious mental health issues Possibly bi polar or physcotic break, but we can’t get a diagnosis as he is on drugs. He thinks we are working with police feeding info to them. He is constantly accusing myself and parents of outrageous things that make no sense. Things got so bad last year my parents threw him out and he is now sleeping rough. He still comes by to eat, or wash his clothes bath etc...
He blames the whole family but mainly me for his situation.
He came over last week into my parents side myself and 5yo were in saying goodnight, as soon as he came through the door he started shouting and swearing in front of the little one, I quickly took her next door and away from the situation, but expectedly she was upset by it.
My mum expects us to be next door for Xmas and I don’t want to upset them by not being there my dad is 84 and we want to create these. Memories while we have a chance, but do I have to put myself and children in that situation? I also dont want to put my parents in a situation where they feel they have to choose between their children.
So devastated by this whole situation any advice would be greatly appreciated.