AIBU to think something happened ( daughter school and 1-1 )

[Tiredandgrumpy2591]

Hi name changed - am I over thinking this !

DD (4) started reception this year, she has full hours of 1-1 and the school has hired an extra member of staff to be this ( have funding obviously )
So there is emergency training required over s certain device my daughter has which a safety kit has to follow her at all times.
I met her 1-1 a few times and she seemed ok, didn’t have any reason to dislike her, nurses who did training though she was calm and content.
Sorry not wanted to drop feed.
My daughter is only doing afternoons so the rest of the time she obviously attends to the rest of the classroom.
DD has a viral infection that wiped her out and she had 2 weeks of school.
I emailed the school Monday making sure that there was staff ( 1-1 was present ) for her to return to school Tuesday. I then got a phone all from senco to say everything was ok for daughter to return but she mentioned no issues.
I drop daughter off and as I was leaving the class room assistant cane running after me with this other women to introduce me to this other lady who would temporarily be watched DD.
I asked where her 1-1 was and she stated that she was not coming back.
I asked if this new lady was trained ? They said no so I told them she would not be able to be left unattended with DD if she was not trained.
So they said another member of staff who had be trained would always be in the class room.
I asked why the senco had not mentioned this and apparently they knew from Friday that she wouldn’t be coming back as there was “ problems”
This was at the reception, as leaving looking rather worried about DD the receptionist decided to tell me that if she was DDs mum she would really want a new 1-1 and the school made the decision to ask her 1-1 to leave and she believed it was best and not to worry as I defiantly did not want her looking after my daughter.
Then 5 minutes later the SENCO rand me to say sorry she “ forgot “ to tell me, and that the 1-1 was not coming back due to be nervous and not coping with the stress ( this didn’t really match what the other 2 had said ) plus Daughter who is her main job role tbf and when starts full time after Xmas so be her sole responsibility wasn’t even there for the last 2 weeks to stress her out.

Gosh, who knows. It sounds more like something happened in DD’s absence (hopefully - and hopefully not to another child). I don’t think that, unless it was an incident that directly involved DD, they’ll share any details with you (although the office manager seems to be quite open to it, she sounds a little unprofessional). It wouldn’t be unreasonable for you to ask for a meeting however - at the least, you’ll get a plan for DDs continuing provision.

I know it all just seemed slightly odd
The receptionist I think was trying to make me feel better as she could see I was anxious but yes I think she said too much 😂
The school seem very laid back about DDs medical stuff.
I already had to pull them for having 1-1 outside with DD and 14 other children all doing different things
That is now 1-1 that is 1-15 !

Yeah that’s not great although they can justify some ‘group around the child’ work it’s all meant to be with her at the heart of it. 1-1s do tend to get used too widely. I hope you have more luck next time!

There could be 101 reasons why she left - some of which will have zero to do with the school or your child (ie her Mother has had an accident or something). Don't get too tied up in why she has left. Focus on your daughter and make an appointment with the Senco asap to talk calmly about 'where we go from here' with regards to replacement and the 1-1 situation.

I’d say it’s a tricky one to process but in the gentlest possible way you’re going to have to get used to this sort of thing in future. You may, as I did, feel that the TA “belongs” to your DC but as far as the school is concerned, the TA is a school employee and it is for them to hire and fire and, yes, they may well in these circumstances neglect to keep you in the loop. It’s not right but it’s the way it is. All you can do is keep lines of communication with the school as open and good-natured as possible and accept that you aren’t in total control and that it’s another bloody thing that you as a parent has to keep a handle on. Hopefully it won’t happen too often though.

Just to add it wasn’t a group activity it was 15 children in a playground doing different activities, daughters 1-1 is because of of her emergency isn’t done immediately it is fatal.
Just in case I was coming across previous

*precious

If a trained 1-1 isn’t there then neither should she be which I why I think saying she was able to go school after senco spoke to me in the morning is wrong.