would you value my work?

[1400spincycle]

When it doesn’t pay? I’ve been a SAHM for 4 years after leaving 2 previous jobs in less than ideal circumstances. I was recently offered an opportunity to work in a new area of my field which I’ve wanted to move into for a while. Its been going great but even though the salary is more than I was on before it still doesn’t cover much more than childcare and other costs of working.

I am happy to be getting experience but DP is someone who just works for the money (far more than I can earn) and doesn’t understand why I want to continue.

If it makes a difference it is a sometimes stressful role that can impact on our family time as I need to work at home sometimes. Its part time so I still have plenty of time for the DCs but I am expecting him to contribute more to the household. (previously I was doing most as a SAHM).

Would you value a job that only breaks even?

Work isn't always about the money

There's using your brain interacting with adults feeling you are making a contribution setting yourself up for further career developement paying into a pension

Your DH is miffed as he has to step up and take care of himself and others more and most men really don't like doing that

Yes, absolutely. The benefits of a career are not just financial and you won't be on the same salary for ever. Are you enjoying the work and gaining valuable experience? You are not just a mum, you are your own woman, with aspirations and a future.

I’d say it’s the time you each spend working that should determine the contribution to the household rather than income being earned.

It’s important for your future prospects/pension/self worth etc too to be in work.

If he works a normal full time job he should be able to contribute to 1/3 of the household tasks with you doing 2/3 and working p/t.

If he earns well enough though ans resents the household stuff would he consider paying for a cleaner?

But long term it will be worth it. Once child care decreases that job will pay for luxury items. I went back to work after having mine and while it was hard at first and I worked to pay childcare etc long term I don't regret it. I've seen women struggle to get back into work once kids in school and then have to start at the bottom or just end up in very low paid jobs as they have no recent experience.

If you enjoy this then keep it up.

Yes definitely.

For now and for the future when you can build on it. And you will be financially independent.

If I wanted to do it, yes. If I hated it and only did it so I could get back into work in the future, no. You're clearly in the first category.