To think you don't NEED Sky TV (or similar)?

[Unicat]

This is just another example of how my DH doesn't listen to me, but I need to know if I am being unreasonable.

So, bit of backstory needed. We've been together 4 years, recently married and have DD who is 3.

Up until last week we have lived in his house, that he currently still owns with an ex partner. I hated the house, when they split 11 years ago he let it go to rack and ruin and I've spent the best part of 3 years trying to make it bearable - to no avail.

I laid my chips out on the table whilst we were away on honeymoon and said that I wanted us to move out. We had no deposit saved but it had become unbearable for me. We've recently started to rent a much nicer house that I love and he is in the process of selling the old one.

For that reason, money is not tight (I am recently self employed and earning much more than previously anticipated) but I'm trying to keep an eye on it at least until the house sells.

Prior to moving house we discussed the TV set up. We had Virgin TV, all set up by him, and broadband, but it has transpired that they cannot install it in the new house. We spoke about this and agreed that we don't watch much beyond the freeview channels and I have access to a SKY GO account that can be streamed through our games console anyway, so theoretically already have everything. We agreed that it would be far more economical to just get broadband in the new house and save some money.

Fast forward to today when he's cancelled the Virgin contract and immediately signed up for Sky, despite me going through to what we'd already spoken about.

His argument....in the DAYS that we have been here he has realised that we can't function with just freeview and we HAVE to have some form of cable TV. And because he's given me a rational argument, that's the end of it.

I believe we need LESS screens and have told him he's pretty pathetic if he can't live without Storage Wars or Challenge TV.

It's done anyway, and I've told him if he can't make payment for the TV I refuse to pay it for him (as has been done in the past, albeit a few years ago).

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable because I had an ex years ago who loaded the virgin up with every add on possible then promptly lost his job and I was too naive to refuse to make the shortfall while he spent all day gaming.

Perhaps. But I honestly don't think I'm being unreasonable. Am I??

On the face of it; it's an issue to compromise about - you want less screens and therefore less channels and temptation, he wants a cable TV package. If he can afford it; neither of you really get to overrule the other on that, it should be discussed. He was a bit of a knob to just order it without talking to you: but I'm guessing that given he's moved out of a home he owns to rent with you despite neither of you having a deposit because you didn't want to live there, he's not usually unreasonable?

Do you communicate well in general; or is your relationship more someone making a call and the other person falling into line?

Sky is an unbelievable waste of money.

I cannot believe the cheek of them charging a fee and then there being stacks and stacks of advertising on all channels.

YANBU

well does anyone really need any kind of TV. I have a basic Sky package plus Sky sports for my son. I'm a single mum so don't get out a lot. I suppose I could read more books, or do more housework, but I have a few hours in the evening when my son has gone to bed so I like to veg out in front of the TV.
You seem to have an issue with what he's watching. I could live without Say Yes To The Dress, and other 'junk' TV that I watch. But sometimes thats all my brain can take. Other times I will watch more quality programmes.
I don't need it, but I want it, I enjoy it, it serves a purpose and I can afford it so what's the problem?

Well I wouldn't compromise on my TV for anyone, but that's why I'm single!

I've always found the free-to-air channels sufficient for my viewing needs.

Sky is a rip-off in my opinion- amazon prime tv sub (£70ish a year), Netflix (£7ish a month), Now TV, or a recordable Freeview box all offer a great variety of box sets, films and programmes.

When I first joined sky they gave me an introductory offer of £28 per month. When the year was up it went to £78 😮 and I cancelled. Maybe he got a cheap deal...

To be honest, the old house has just become unliveable. No matter how much money we saved, it was becoming unsafe and expensive. For the last 3 months I've had no cooker because the electrics were all wrong, which has been so, so difficult.

My priority was moving somewhere that was safe for DD and felt like a home.

But yes, after lots of discussion we came to the conclusion that this was the right thing to do.

He is pig headed sometimes. He feels that if he has a rational argument for or against something, this overrules someone else's rational argument. Sometimes, if I disagree he will say I'm trying to cause an argument, which makes me feel instantly shut down.

I have raised this with him, but he doesn't really change once he has made a decision in his head.

I only watch Netflix and Prime, I have no need for sky, virgin or freeview.

I love my Sky Q. Wouldn’t be without it. I pay a lot for it but it’s worth it to me. Especially for the football. If my DH told me I couldn’t have it, I’d raise an eyebrow tbh.

@Ted27

I agree, actually! But we have access to that stuff anyway through the XBOX, it's my dad's accounts but the console is set up as an extra to his and he's happy for us to use it.

I use that for any Sky box sets or films. I've also got Netflix and Amazon Prime. So we have lots of options for viewing.

Which is why I don't understand why he's so adamant that we have the £60 per month sky package when the only extra we need is the broadband.

Get Now TV. It's owned by sky but loads cheaper. You just can't record but most stuff is on catch up anyway

As long as he's paying, I don't see the issue.

We've got Sky, we've periodically turned it off and lasted less than a week with Freeview. What a load of shit that is. No wonder it's free.

The most frustrating part for me is that we had the discussion. He agreed we didn't need it.

Then it's an about turn and no discussion.

I don't even think it's the Sky that pisses me off to be honest, it's the fact that my views seem so insignificant to him even after we discussed and agreed.

Most times I just watch netfix now and if I do watch anything else it's usually on BBC, sometimes CH4 so I am about to cancel my virgin package. I pay £100 a month for a phone line I never use (don't even have a landline handset now!) internet and TV I don't really watch. I'm sure I can get an internet only package cheaper than that. I just am currently researching the best one. So I agree with you!

Smart tv with a firestick and apps is all we use now.

If this was the other way round people would be saying that the partner was controlling, forcing you to leave your house you own to live in rented just because your partner doesn't like it and dictating what TV you are allowed to have!

No you don't NEED Sky but if he can afford it and would like it, I don't see why he can't have it. There are plenty of things we don't need but we have because we enjoy them.

He is unreasonable to pay full price for sky, however (if he did). I have been with Sky for about 6 years and never paid even close to half price. We currently pay £19 per month for broadband, line rental, sky TV and box sets.

So you made the unilateral decision he needed to leave his home and rent elsewhere and now your trying to dictate what tv package he is allowed!

To me your coming across rather controlling especially as by your own admission money isn’t tight

No one needs Sky TV but there’s nothing wrong with having it if you can afford it, but I don’t think that’s the issue here.

Apart from the issue of going behind your back you might want to know about this:

Sky cooling Off Period. Sky customers have 8 days to cancel their contract from the date their installation is completed if they are not happy with their new service. Any services used will need to be paid for and all supplied Sky equipment will need to be returned.

No one needs sky but we have it for the football and darts and pay extra for bt sports if some one told me I didn’t need it I’d be pretty annoyed

@ShalomJackie

That's a bit much.

The house was UNSAFE and we have a three year old.

I didn't dictate anything. I told him I wasn't happy there and we decided together that it was the right time to move. That's it. It was certainly the kick up the bum he needed to get it sorted with his ex partner.

Neither am I dictating what he can and can't watch on tv. We have access to all the Sky channels, we have Netflix, we have amazon prime. It doesn't make sense to pay more for just broadband and more tv. To me anyway.

I'm not controlling. Far from it. I have lived for 3 years with our daughter in that house but I draw the line at living somewhere that could burn down at any moment and living on convenience food because I had no access to a cooker.

I can accept I'm being unreasonable with the Sky but no way with the house as I knew the kind of conditions we were living in.

We have never had a TV package - just the usual freeview channels + iplayer. So I think it's very unreasonable to pay for it.

YANBU OP. I wouldn't pay a penny to scummy Murdoch and find plenty to watch on Freeview (even Storage Wars which is on Blaze).