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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it me or is Xmas going crazy?

72 replies

Belle1616 · 04/12/2018 07:47

Yes this another moany Xmas thread...

But, all these massive advent calendars, elves, North Pole breakfasts and Xmas eve boxes... every year people are concocting yet more ways to squeeze money out of this season...

I mean I love Christmas, but there has to be some limits!

OP posts:
Junkmail · 04/12/2018 10:03

You can totally opt out. We will buy a few presents for close friends and family but aside from that I don’t decorate, don’t do a Christmas meal, don’t dress up, don’t attend parties. You can say no. I’m going hiking all day on Christmas Day and then I’ll order a takeout when I get home and watch whatever Christmas movie is on Netflix. I can’t wait 😊

BarbaraofSevillle · 04/12/2018 10:10

Agree with opting out, or just doing what you want to do, rather than feeling you have to do everything that is on offer.

It's the amount of decorative/extra 'stuff' on offer that baffles me. The latest thing appears to be empty Christmas Eve boxes in the shops - you buy the box and put pyjamas, DVDs, hot chocolate or whatever in them, but the empty boxes, which are just glorified shoe boxes, cost up to a tenner each Shock.

I suppose it's not too terrible if you have somewhere clean and dry to store them so they can be reused multiple times, but there's a danger of our houses being cluttered up with all this stuff that is only used once each year.

BiddyPop · 04/12/2018 11:35

I should have mentioned in my earlier post that even those traditions we do involve reusing lots of things - advent calendar, Christmas paper covered cardboard box (that holds decorations most of the year), stocking, Santa hats, my Christmas jumper (is at least 6 years old now!) etc.

We also have traditions that are not so much spoken about - the youngest lighting a candle on Christmas Eve to show "weary travelers" that there is "room in our Inn", and having a short quiet time as a family to remember the good and bad of the year just finishing, and to remember those family members no longer with us.

Costs nothing except the new candle, so there is very little commercial value in anyone trying to advertise it. But it happens and is meaningful for us.

Then again, we put things that are useful in stockings, like hair bobbins, shower gel, knickers, socks......and it's also not unusual for DD to get clothes as presents from us or indeed other family members. While many people on MN seem to think that it's cruel if all presents are not toys and "things to make it magical". We look on it as a chance to give her some nice things that are usually nicer (or a favoured brand) than we would normally get her. And also that she sees that even Santa thinks useful things are good to give - along with plenty of fun things too.

I've also seen posts here and on youtube etc where the number of parcels must number in the hundreds, and piles reach towards the ceiling, for some precious darlings - which is great, if you can afford it, the items are all suitable, and the whole thing doesn't overwhelm the DC and also doesn't give them an expectation that they will always get so much and always get exactly what they want no matter how much stuff it is or how expensive.

You really, REALLY, don't need to buy into all the hype.

Shops and brands are trying to make you buy their goods, and fill their coffers. That doesn't mean that everything they sell is what YOU need. Or what you can afford.

And don't be afraid to tell the DCs that not everything is as magical as it appears. Not everyone gets everything they want. Not everything is as they see it on tv, YouTube or Instagram or whatever other platform - and that not everyone in life tells the entire truth - so not everyone in school has exactly the same as they want.

There are so so so many ways that you can make Christmas, or anything in life, magical and meaningful to YOU and YOUR FAMILY, in line with your own values, and budget, and that don't involve always buying into the hype and the marketing.

Hideandgo · 04/12/2018 11:39

This is definitely the year of the advent calendar. They are everywhere and completely OTT. But if people enjoy it, they can spend their money on it.

I more object to people buying their 5yr olds playstations and mobile phones because it makes life hard for us all with my son kicking off that’s it’s sooooo unfair he can’t have one and why won’t Santa bring him one when he’s bringing little Jonny one.

TheFifthKey · 04/12/2018 11:40

I don't know why the elf is always cited in these threads - I bought a bog standard little stuffed elf toy for £1.99 about five years ago and now I ut it in a vaguely amusing place every night - it's the ultimate "magic at no/low cost" Christmas thing for me.

I don't do Christmas Eve boxes but I've chosen one present (a board game) that suits both DC and wrapped it "from the elf" so we can all play a game together on Christmas Eve.

kingscote · 04/12/2018 11:50

I don't really have a problem with the elf. It's cheap, relies a bit on imagination and a sense of magic and really does no harm.

The expensive Christmas Eve Hampers, the massive piles of presents under the tree, the front gardens lit up like Santa's grotto, the advent calendars complete with expensive toys or toiletries all scream 'excess' at me and yes, people can opt out, but a lot of people get swept along with it, other people's children can't understand why they don't get the same and some of the real meaning and origins or Christmas becomes buried beneath a mountain of consumerism.

YANBU OP and I really hope all this craziness is reaching saturation point and we can go back to enjoying, with no pressure, more old fashioned scaled back Christmasses.

Original poster
Belle1616 · 04/12/2018 11:58

See this is my thinking. I have no wish to remove other peoples joy but it does put a lot of pressure on parents. I don’t buy into other people over sharing, or as I’ve seen lately someone posting a massive load of gifts then saying they felt like they haven’t bought their little darlings enough... up to them, but if your kids are around others at school who do get x,y and z and everything else it makes it hard.

OP posts:
SnuggyBuggy · 04/12/2018 12:01

I'm hoping a lot of this has died down by the time DD is old enough. That said I'm tempted to do a very badly behaved elf Grin

Toughtips · 04/12/2018 12:04

We don't do non of that. My kids have a chocolate advent calender and that's it.

bigKiteFlying · 04/12/2018 12:11

elf on the shelf - school does this I don't get it.

Actually most parents I’ve talked to this year seem to be cutting back a lot - as we are.

I suspect this is money - but I wonder if there also the overload effect.

The jam shop example - wall of different types of jam but people were looking but not buying as they couldn’t decide and felt overwhelmed - it was reduced to small number on counter and sales went through the roof. Maybe more people are reaching overwhelmed stage.

PeonyTruffle · 04/12/2018 12:12

I admittedly go over the top, I have one DS (and he will be my only one) and I am absolutely loving reliving Christmas as a child through him.

The bloody elf though, I could definitely do without him.....

littlemeitslyn · 04/12/2018 12:12

Don't do none ? What???

bigKiteFlying · 04/12/2018 12:16

I'm hoping a lot of this has died down by the time DD is old enough

We found primary schools quite bad for umping up whole Christmas season so everyone fed up with it by end of term - I don't think that a new thing as my parenst complained about the same.

LagunaBubbles · 04/12/2018 12:17

the front gardens lit up like Santa's grotto, the advent calendars complete with expensive toys or toiletries all scream 'excess'

I decorate my garden with lots of Christmas decorations. Because I like it and I want to. I will never understand why some people get so bothered about what others do at Christmas. Doesn't mean I don't know the "true meaning of Christmas" either.

AdoraBell · 04/12/2018 12:19

YANBU OP

Just set your own agenda for Christmas and ignore what doesn’t fit in.

Momo18 · 04/12/2018 12:20

reached peak Christmas about 20 years ago. We certainly don't buy into the elves on shelves, christmas eve boxes and the rest of it. I'm secure in my own skin though and comfortable with saying no to the children. I also don't feel that I'm competing with anyone, or trying to prove what a wonderful parent I am on social media.

This is a bit self righteous. My kids have never asked for any of the recent Christmas crazes, I chose to do them. I certainly don't do it out of insecurity and I definitely don't document it all on social media.

SnuggyBuggy · 04/12/2018 12:21

The lights on houses aren't new and neither is the concept of a commercial Christmas but there definitely wasn't reindeer food, elf on the shelf or Christmas Eve boxes when I was a kid in the 90s.

puzzledlady · 04/12/2018 12:21

Maybe learn to say no to these things - and let everyone else who wants to enjoy the festive season try to get on without without having people say it’s all too much? HTH

EdHelpPls · 04/12/2018 12:22

At the same time lots of people are cutting back on gifts for adults - lots of no-gift “pacts” or swapping to a secret Santa setup within adults in a family or workplace.
We are low key - though my kids are still thrilled by the little chocolates in the advent calendar. The same books and DVDs are brought out each year in a lovely wooden crate ( not wrapped individually!)

We do put on “best” pjs and have a hot chocolate on Xmas eve but not stuff

OohBabyBabeh · 04/12/2018 12:23

Hate elf on the shelf and Xmas eve boxes.

Advent calendars and presents on Christmas Day is enough!!

I wonder where people get all the money for this stuff these days, I really do.

NotAnotherUserName5 · 04/12/2018 12:23

Yanbu. And all these posts on Facebook of these elves too. It’s like everyone’s trying to outdo each other Confused

bigKiteFlying · 04/12/2018 12:24

definitely wasn't reindeer food - school does that as well they bring home a little packet - of oats and glitter.

Ohyesiam · 04/12/2018 12:24

If it’s your kids you are worried about just explain to them that every family dies Christmas differently.

We don’t do Christmas Eve boxes or elves on shelves. It helps that I don’t have a tv so don’t see the adverts!
But yes, commercialism and consumerism has gone through the roof. It’s grabby and unpleasant imho.

MrDonut · 04/12/2018 12:24

I've seen a few friends have done the activity advent calendar where they have to do a Christmas themed activity every day from 1st December to 24th Dec. Stuff like making handprint reindeers, making Christmas cookies, coloring pages, days out. They always seem to struggle about halfway through, especially when kids get sick. It's just way too much.

We just do the basic stuff and a couple of days out. I think that's enough.

kingscote · 04/12/2018 12:24

Puzzledlady you are perfectly entitled to do what you like at Christmas.
Equally, other members of society are perfectly entitled to voice their opinion when they feel the whole Christmas celebration has become OTT, stressful and commercialised.
HTH.

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