Hi,
I haven't posted on here before but would really appreciate some unbiased advice and opinions. I'll try and keep it short without drip-feeding.
I've always had a difficult relationship with my Dad, whilst we have always been in contact he and my Mum broke up before I was born, I've never been a priority in his life and only see him if I travel 6 hours to see him (I do this mostly to see my sisters and stepmum who I have a great relationship with) and since the age of 12 he has never come to see me nor paid for this travel, it has always been my Mum. When I do see him if it's just us in a room we can make polite conversation but do not pretend to be close, yet if people (such as other family or friends) are also around he shows off and acts like we are as close as anything and has always put on this image.
My Stepdad came into my life when I was 2 and whilst never trying to replace my Dad has been the father figure I've needed. We are incredibly close and I know he and his whole family see me as part of their family.
I'm getting married in May and after talking about it with my H2B and Mum decided to ask both my Dad and Stepdad to walk me down the aisle, I was in 2 minds about asking my Dad but as I also asked my sisters to be my bridesmaids I knew they wouldn't be able to come if he didn't as my Stepmum is very much under his thumb and wouldn't bring them without him.
My Dad agreed at first but when I told him it would be shared with my Stepdad he completely flipped out saying some quite nasty things, and ultimately said that he would only do it if my Stepdad didn't and then hung up. This all happened this evening.
I now don't know what to do, knowing my Dad he wouldn't be able to deal with the embarrassment of not walking me down the aisle at all and I think at the last minute he would change his mind and agree to share the role, but I also think he would make a huge deal out of it and honestly it would make the whole day miserable.
If I uninvite him completely, I risk losing my sisters as even if they stay at mine, they are much too young to do so without their parents permission.
I know there isn't really a right answer but my head is just going in circles right now and everyone I ask is biased one way or the other. Any advice or thoughts would be really appreciated. Thank you!