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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery worker babysitting?

92 replies

NoFoxGiven · 03/12/2018 20:35

DH has found a handwritten note in DC's bag from DC's main nursery worker offering babysitting services with her number on it.

Whilst I (a parent of a DC who has a fantastic worker who can get her to nap) can see the appeal, when speaking to other friends who are parents, they've said they felt it crossed a line.

Was she BU to do this?

OP posts:
Sassypants82 · 03/12/2018 20:59

This happens in our crèche too - I think it's a brilliant idea.

QwertyLou · 03/12/2018 21:02

In my view and experience (one child, currently in nursery) this is perfectly normal and acceptable. I’m not in the UK though.

Just don’t take her up on the offer if you don’t want or need it!

I think you are B a bit U to be all Confused about a polite note! poor lass is probably just trying to make a bit more money, nursery workers are not highly paid.

Imustbemad00 · 03/12/2018 21:04

Nurseries don’t allow it because it can cause a conflict of interests. There are so many ways it can cause problems. The worst one being, that if something went wrong during baby sitting it could reflect badly on nursery. It’s also in contracts that staff are not allowed to be friends with (real life or social media) with parents. Must inform manager of already knew a parent. Can cause safeguarding issues, breaches of confidentiality amongst other things.

Goldenbug · 03/12/2018 21:07

I suppose they don't want a relationship building between staff and their customer that they have no control over. I think it's fine.

ImogenTubbs · 03/12/2018 21:08

We did it. We asked the nursery about it and they made it clear it was a completely separate arrangement but said beyond that it was up to us. It was great.

imamearcat · 03/12/2018 21:10

We have DSs keyworker babysit my kids. She's fab!

I asked the nursery if anyone did it and they gave me a bunch of numbers. I suppose it could be considered 'wrong' for the nursery as could be conflict of interest but not wrong for parents or the babysitter.

Mummyshark2018 · 03/12/2018 21:10

We did it and still use the nursery worker even though dc much older. Made perfect sense!

Cranky17 · 03/12/2018 21:11

When I managed a nursery we had a little notice board with staff who wanted to baby sit numbers on and amessage from me saying that we as a nursery didn’t mind however it was a private arrangement with the staff and nothing to do with nursery

Adelie0404 · 03/12/2018 21:14

This is great. Crossing a line? What?

I will be thoroughly disapproved off for this - but when DD1 was little she used to go home with one of the nursery girls and stay overnight sometimes. I am a doctor, who works late and night shifts and when my husband was away it was impossible. Trusted professional and DD loved sleepovers from an early age.

Firstty · 03/12/2018 21:16

The people saying it crossed a line probably don't have childcare issues - I'd love to have someone that DD knows and is comfortable with, and that we trust, available to babysit her on the odd occasion we might want to go out without her. Our family don't live close enough to ask them to do it just for a night and our friends with kids all have lots of grandparents to babysit so we can't ask reciprocal babysitting. In an emergency we have lovely friends who would do it but it feels too cheeky to ask as we couldn't return the favour and they would refuse money.

edwinbear · 03/12/2018 21:17

YABU. When I had my prolapse repaired and couldn’t lift DC out of their cots and take them to/from Nursery I paid the staff to stop off on their way to work, get the children up and dressed and take them with them to work. Then the reverse in the evening. This was all done with full disclosure to the nursery manager who was fully on board. I paid them very well, something like £50 a day and the staff were grateful for the extra money as they are not well paid. There were 3 members of staff helping me on a rota for 7 weeks and without having them in place, I simply couldn’t have had my surgery.

DC were happy as they knew them, I was happy because they were with people I trusted. It worked brilliantly.

Parker231 · 03/12/2018 21:17

WE used the nursery staff as babysitters - a win for both sides. Can’t see any problem with it.

Wifeofapostie · 03/12/2018 21:23

It's fairly common in nurseries. It's not something I've taken up the offer of, but I don't see the problem. She knows your child, and he knows them. They have childcare experience and basic first aid training will be up to date.

CandyCreeper · 03/12/2018 21:25

sounds good to me!

Hellolittlesunshinexxx · 03/12/2018 21:27

In our contract with the nursery it's states that nursery workers can babysit out of normal hours but it needs to be arranged between the worker and the parent and not via the nursery. Wouldn't be a problem for me.

Muddlingalongalone · 03/12/2018 21:28

I've never had anyone else look after my 2. Am just navigating the sitters website because I've just found out that their Christmas party clashes with mine. Aaargghhh!!!

CleverWittyUsername · 03/12/2018 21:28

I'd have been happier with that rather than last year - one of our nursery staff found me on Facebook and sent a message asking for babysitting hours. Then shortly after asked if I'd do a reference for a new job she was going for but asked me to keep it quiet. It put me in an awkward position with the nursery manager and felt weirdly invasive. I blocked her after several more messages asking for hours/reference and luckily she moved away anyway.

Allthewaves · 03/12/2018 21:31

Really common in daycares I used. The staff don't earn a great wage

Mammyloveswine · 03/12/2018 21:31

I used to do this when I was a nursery nurse..was great for a bit of extra cash!

I'm an early years teacher now and wouldn't do it but mostly as I've my own family and less free time!

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 03/12/2018 21:34

Gosh people are offended by the stupidest things these days. Good trustworthy babysitters are hard to find.

Original poster
NoFoxGiven · 03/12/2018 21:35

QwertyLou I didn't question it, I was telling friends and they said it crossed a line which confused me and I thought perhaps there was something obvious I wasn't seeing here. I think it's great as my DC seems to really like her.

OP posts:
mama17 · 03/12/2018 21:37

I use two girls from my children's nursery, and think it's brilliant. The children know them well and feel comfortable with them. Plus Nursery workers get paid so little so they often need a bit of extra. When I worked in a nursery about 7 years ago I always used to babysit for parents. It's surprising how many people ask u to!

JassyRadlett · 03/12/2018 21:38

I bloody love having our nursery staff babysit. We have to sign a form that basically indemnifies the nursery.

We don’t have family who can babysit, and I’d rather have someone with first aid and childcare qualification who my kids and I already know and trust.

Elephantscantfly · 03/12/2018 21:41

My best babysitter ever was my daughters nursery key worker, she was amazing, my daughter loved her, I knew she was safe, I trusted her completely and my daughter at 13 still talks fondly of the fun they had together, despite us now living 200 miles away she still keeps in touch and shares pictures of her own family with us, she was, and still is one in a million!

Menolly · 03/12/2018 21:43

DD's key worker babysat loads, she was brilliant and I felt so much better leaving DD with someone she knew well and I knew was fully police checked, trained etc.

I work in EYFS in a school and I am not allowed to give my number out to parents or build up any kind of friendship with them/seek contact outside of school, its in my contract coz of conflicts of interest, safeguarding and risk to the schools reputation, so I had assumed that it would be in nursery contracts now too. I'm glad its not, nursery workers babysitting works well for the kids, parents and the nursery workers who are frankly not paid anywhere near enough for what they do.

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