Teenage son struggling with weight

[giladams]

I am becoming a little overwhelmed at the moment with my son. I obviously want him to be happy and healthy and I always like to encourage him to make good decisions but I am getting increasingly concerned when he doesn't seem to be bothers.
My son is 14 years old and if I'm completely honest begining to look overweight . He has in the past 2 or 3 years been gaining weight rapidly and it's beging to look noticeable. He has chubby cheeks with a double chin developing a flabby belly and chest and wide thighs. Last time we weighed himself which was about 3 months ago he was 78kg and is about 167cm tall. If you looked at him you wouldn't say he was obese or really overweight but definitely chubby.
My problem is that he does t think there is a problem. Whenever I bring up healthy eating he just says he already does it all (in which we do try our best) and that he plays football 4 days a week. His coach even pulled me over to tell me he was struggling but I just don't know whether to try to encourage him to lose or at least maintain his weight to just leave it as it is. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Don't give him money for extra food . Dont keep high calorie stuff crisps biscuits in the house . No lifts anywhere encourage him to walk more . I would be concerned if my son but he has also got to take on responsibility of his own health and weight.

Thanks for the reply. I am concerned but I don't know what I can even do if he doesn't want to do anything for himself. I don't know I could be wrong he could be perfectly fine but just a little chubby but when I see him without a top on and his belly and man boobs it just reminds me how large his is and that maybe something does need to change.

Just like to point out this is the poster's first post ever and they're using words which have been used in the past by certain troll types who want to talk about overweight boys.

Hi regarding your comment I was unaware of any previous posts and am genuinely concerned about my son. I have read alot of posts before posting but wanted to get a really concern of mine discussed. It is my first time posting and am a concerned mother who is wanting the best for her son.

Maybe he’s embarrassed - my 14 yo would rather die than admit something bothers him - unless I get him at exactly the right time.
Does he have school lunch or pack lunch - he has more control and less temptation if he has pack lunch and home made snacks. Or less school dinners and more lunchboxes. Talk about how his football would improve if he eats healthy. I wouldn’t mention weight loss but more health.
Stop buying sweets/crisps/choc/biscuits and either make them home made (with less sugar) or just buy fruit instead. Nadia’s Healthy kitchen is a really good website with tasty healthy alternatives
Is he talking money to school for snacks? Maybe he could reduce the number of times he does this.
Also I would try to find out if anything else is going on which is making him unhappy and comfort eating.
He is young so it should be relatively quick to lose the weigh.

Nadia's healthy kitchen looks great. Thanks for the suggestion. He usually has a school lunch which is a jacket potato or similar but maybe a packed lunch would be better. He walks home from school so he could be calling in at the paper shop so maybe I should investigate that.

I did have same problem with my son he has stopped buying large bags of sweets and his belly has gone down alot. Also tell him he needs to walk home from school which is 30 mins . I give him a lift. Perhaps he just need to increase activity more and count the calouries. Maybe a app on his phone might help track his activity levels if he decides that he is bothered. I think its a real concern as weight leads to so many health issues later in life.

If this isn’t a troll:
I do understand where you’re coming from here - DS was similar - gained quite a bit of weight aged 12-14, even though he was doing swimming multiple times a week. In particular DS gained weight around his tummy and ended up with quite a noticeable belly on him by age 14. So, we made a health push as a family, focussing on ‘fitness’ and ‘building muscle’ rather than ‘weight loss’ and by age 16, DS is now a perfectly healthy weight. I think you need to make a family effort with healthy eating (lean turkey/brown rice etc.) and exercise as well as talking to your DS about healthy eating again (and really try not to buy sweets/biscuits etc. for the house). Although, I have heard that some teenage boys can gain some extra ‘puppy fat’ particularly around their middles/thighs, only then to shoot up in height over a few months and for it all to be absolutely fine (although I know not everyone subscribes to this belief...) There were actually quite a few round looking boys in DS’s swim club at that time, although really not any more. In any case, I wish you and your son good luck.

One other thing - you mentioned weighing your DS - is he weighing himself? Or are you there weighing him? If the latter, I think I would find the whole thing very embarrassing, having my mother there weighing me... Is it just adding to his embarrassment/not wanting to talk about it. Although his BMI with the measurements you gave is 28.0 - overweight - so I hope you manage to get this sorted.

He need to know his weight for a martial arts competition which is why I know but I've been very careful not to make too much of a fuss over it. There is a possibility that he is embarrassed I can't imagine getting changed with loads of other People watching.
I have heard quite a few other people talking about there sons gaining weight before a growth spurt but my son has already had a growth spurt which didn't help that much. We don't buy any biscuit like items anymore and I will definitely reiterate my healthy eating point.
But he will probably just reiterate that he isn't that overweight and there are so many of his peers that are bigger than him and that he already eats healthily and does lots of excersise.

At 14 if he doesn't start taking care of his physical fitness he will soon get passed by his peers and potentially lose his place on the footie team. As they get older some teams fold and there are less opportunities, sadly once lost at this age it is difficult to get back on a team. He is effectively competing to keep his place on the team. Can you encourage him to get healthy, build his core and tone up muscle for the footie?

We had similar issues with ds and got him a block booking of 10 PT sessions (£250) as we had no idea how he should work on his strength safely and they have really made a difference to his attitude to his fitness. His PT has pushed him and made him realise he is more capable than he ever thought before, while being aware of his still growing body/open growth plates. Maybe an idea for Xmas present along with a pullup bar, resistance bands and some dumbbells?

My brother and his sons had very similar problems.
Put on loads of weight between 12-14...noticeable boobs/tummy...

The growth spurt sorted it all out... By the time they were 17 they were all 6 ft 4/5 and within usual parameters.

How tall are you parents? Is he likely to have another growth spurt?

Sorry but if he's got visible boobs etc. he probably is very overweight. From what you write I suspect he's snacking on junk food and fizzy drinks before/after school.

The good thing is that he's active, still growing and has a great mum to look out for him. Keep encouraging his healthy eating and awareness of too much sugar.

Active, growing children do need protein, so make sure he's got enough meat, cheese, eggs, beans, lentils etc. into his diet.

Is he due a grow? My brother when he was a teenager used to go really chubby then grow 6 inches and lose it then go really chubby and so and so forth.

He does have moobs if you want to call them that but I wouldn't say he is overweight just chubby with a round belly and a small double chin. I don't think he is due a growth spurt for at least a year or 2.

If he likes sport could you get him a gym membership for Christmas?

And if you did would he go at least a couple of times a week?

I think that's a good idea. Try to build up his strength and not fat.

* I* wouldn't say he is overweight just chubby with a round belly and a small double chin.

You really are minimising this. He is overweight. By the time a round belly appears children are very overweight. Remember he's also carrying extra on his limbs.

We have all become blind to how overweight we are because obesity is now so normal.

Don't panic but don't underestimate the changes he will have to make.

In terms of food, can you do simple stuff like reduce the size of dinner plates and put one less potato on his plate. Home cook food, using less butter & no sugar, and remove all biscuits, crisps & breakfast cereals from the house.

Fill a fruit bowl instead and provide wholemeal bread for toast, to help him feel full longer.

What does he drink?

He is 5cm shorter than me, and 18kg or almost 3stone heavier so either he needs to eat less or exercise more.

You could have a two week campaign and then relax it a bit before Xmas. Then start again in the new year. Good luck

You really are minimising this. He is overweight.

^ agree with this. At this age with the amount of football and martial arts he appears to do he should be toned, but at these activities it is very easy to have some skill but only give 50%, and not actually get much physical fitness out of the exercise.

If he is chubby with little muscle definition, has a round tummy and a even a double chin he is overweight from eating too much and not getting enough exercise where he is giving 100%.

I am definitely going to look at what we are eating and ensure it is healthy and appropriate. But really want him to wanting do it himself. Is there any definite way to figure out if he is overweight could I show him this that to show him. To be perfectly honest I'm not even sure he is aware that he has moobs and a double chin which could be part of the problem.

Get him the gym membership and if you choose the right gym he will get used to seeing healthy bodies around him and with the right approach will make the changes needed.

You will need to find a gym that appeals to the younger crowd maybe a boxing style gym or kick boxing would interest him.

I really feel for you OP.

What does he eat at home? Are you sure he is just having a baked potato every day at school and not pizza?

I had the same problems with DS who was really chubby from 13 - 15. Around 15/16 he just grew at an alarming rate,almost visibly. He is now 18 and scraping six foot and very slim indeed.

One thing that helped my DS was getting him more involved in food preparation. Once he could see what was going into his food, he was less keen to eat things that were processed.

I know that 4/5 days he is having a jacket potato but on Friday he usually has chips.

What is he eating at home?