Tracey Conelly *baby p* contact with her children may trigger

[whatsthestory123]

hi, i saw some of this on Jeremy Vine but have been out most of the day and cant see any threads on this so

metro.co.uk/2018/12/03/baby-ps-mother-allowed-contact-with-surviving-children-from-inside-prison-8202299/

she wants contact with her other children,words fail at what that women is responsble for

i dont think she should be allowed but if her children want to write to her i dont think we can deny them but i dont think she should contact the first for her own selfish needs

i dont believe she has shown any remorse or has changed

i know she herself came from a very abusive home but i dont think that should be an exscuse for what happenend to that little boy

It's horrendous to think her sentence is almost over.

Barker is up for Parole next year.

SemperIdem, Peter's death was one that was picked up by the press. There has been lots of babies/toddlers killed and permanently disabled, whilst their Mother did nothing to save them. (to put it simply).

The ones that were disabled were removed and in some cases the Mother has gone on to Parent successfully with a decent Partner.

I know of a Mother who had five children removed, it was a matter of luck that none of them died.

She is now a Mother again, but the Family will remain under SS.

Semp sadly yes

@Birdsgottafly I don't think you can ever refer to someone as going on to 'parent successfully' when one of their children ended up disabled due to their neglect and or abuse. That's a ridiculous statement. If a parent allows that to happen to their child they are never ever going to be a successful parent and should be locked up for life not allowed to have more children.

Has I recall one of the odd things was that the older children were all well cared for. It was just Baby Peter Who was abused and who died.

I think you're confusing it with another case. Tracey Connelly was addicted to virtual reality computer games and spent most of her time on them. All children were neglected, as Augusta says.

The parent writing the first letter gets guidance on what to say

Mine is completely different case but, just want to point out that BPs are very rarely given any guidance on what to write.

Can't believe the evil woman only got 4 years.

"I didnt even know she had other children"

That's why Peter was Baby P - legal proceedings in respect of other children we're still ongoing, and they had hoped to keep identities from publication until all cases were concluded.

aww i was quite young when it happened so read it again earlier and now i cant take my mind off what happened

I did read the article and she blames her then partner for Peter's ill treatment and death, at least that is what is said. I honestly can't tell whether or not she has changed but believe people can.

This is so depressing, really brings it all back. I wish the proposed letter writing had remained private, she's not asking to parent and live with her children, just to have contact if they agree. They might not. I can't see that it is in the public interest for it all to be made known in the press, it's possible her children will be identified and that is unfair on them.

I keep thinking how awful if must be to find out your parents committed such a terrible crime and a black cloud descends. I know I wouldn't be able to cope with it.

She requested a hysterectomy while in prison and was refused on grounds of her weight. She’s been actively trying to lose weight in order to have the hysterectomy.

Or so I’ve been told anyway.
Just putting that in there for the people who say she shouldn’t have more children.

I think those kids deserve the right to answers from her. I also think as she was a victim of abuse from a very early age right up until baby ps death It’s really hard for us to put ourselves in her shoes.

That’s me being logical. In mum mode the bitch should rot in prison until she dies

It may seem strange, but I have seen cases of "the scapegoat child" when I volunteered in a children's home (community service a pre-requisite for enrolment in Land Rangers, moving on from Girl Guides).
One dear little boy, Patrick (he'd be a grown man now, of course) had a scar on his cheek inflicted by his own mother. The other siblings were, by all accounts, well cared for, but he was removed into local authority care with a view to fostering and adoption because his life was considered to be in danger. As a naïve teenager, I was shocked by some of the "back stories" I heard; nowadays of course, children in danger would more likely be fostered; a mummy I worked with later in my teaching career did this specialised fostering.
I can only guess that limited contact by letter is going to be permitted as more easily controlled than random contact via social media when the children are teenagers.

I've just read Mae West's latest book. She talks about how she still had contact with her Mother, Rose West for over a decade after Rose went into prison, but is NC now she has realised the manipulation tactics her mother had been playing. It really made me realise that if you can be Rose West's daughter and have Fear Obligation and Guilt because of toxic parenting then ANYONE can fall foul of it.

Baby P's siblings need counselling in FOG before they meet their mother.

It may seem strange, but I have seen cases of "the scapegoat child" when I volunteered in a children's home

Working with young people and families I am always surprised and shocked when I come across this and currently have 4 cases where the famlieall have something in common the house is immaculate, parents have good jobs, all the children except one are immaculate and dressed in designer gear. The child is dressed in basic, value brands that they have often out grown, other siblings are encouraged to chide the child and also call names. You can see immediately there is no emotion like warmth from the parents but the child is desperate to be loved and the more they do for attention the more they are sneered and despised.
Heartbreaking.

It may seem strange, but I have seen cases of "the scapegoat child" when I volunteered in a children's home

I've volunteered in them too and seen same. It's so odd. And heartbreaking obviously.

I have a friend who this happened to too. Siblings all cared for immaculately. He was starved, locked in cupboards naked, beaten to the point of hospitalisation. Never removed though.

"That’s me being logical. In mum mode the bitch should rot in prison until she dies"

In that case so should her mother, who from what I've read, and as you've stated, hardly was a caring, well functioning parent.

Tracey Conelly was a child herself once, a child who was abused. But we only care about photogenic toddlers, not about those who grow up to do ugly things.

There needs to be more help, more support, more interventions for those who have been abused. We need to spend more money on child protection - social workers won't always get it right, but how much better could they do if there were lower caseloads?

If they had proper support from experienced colleagues? Locally we've lost a lot of the most experienced social workers, replaced (if replaced at all) by cheaper, less experienced staff.

Been abused yourself? Try getting support, psyching yourself up, phoning up and being told there's a 9 month, 12 month, maybe longer, waiting list.

These services should all be properly funded. All of them. But they're not, the situation is getting worse, all in the name of saving money and austerity, but it actually ends up costing more. More money. And more importantly, more wasted lives.

When one scapegoat child is removed wouldn't a different child in the house then become the scapegoat?

Sorry. That turned into a bit of a rant.

But I am sick of seeing such vital services cut to the bone, and I am sick of the handwringing when a tragedy happens and the labelling of people as 'evil' who were often abused themselves - but didn't die so we don't give a shit about them.

Koneko i couldn't agree more re austerity. Not only is it bullshit, it's bad economics. So many intelligent women are caring for disabled children and elderly parents to save government money. They are unable to work and then cracking under the strain and needing resources themselves. It isn't working this patch up job, a stitch in time and all that. Austerity isn't saving money.

WakeUpFromYourDreamAndScream, there's an obvious massive lack of understanding that I'm not going to do paragraphs to explain how people can turn their lives around.

Koneko, I understand what you are saying but budgets have had nothing to do with the many failings (Baby P was one of many) that have happened in Haringey.

@KonekoBasu

Oh I absolutely agree. However, for example, A dog goes to attack my child, my immediate reaction is I want revenge, I want to hurt this dog to get it off my child, I think about if it had bitten their face and how I would have killed it. Rationally and logically, and in normal everyday non adrenaline fuelled life I don’t go around killing/injuring dogs or even thinking about it. So I don’t think we can blame parents for being angry about this. When something like this happens, we see our babies there.*

*obviously not all parents, not all of the time

The worst part of this is that those children know who they are

And may have learned of this from the media

Can't see how the public interest overrides the interest of those children

Barker was convicted of the rape of a 2-year-old girl.

Allegedly, the mother saw it happen and told him to try not to do it again.

I really don't see how it's in the children's best interest to have contact with this woman. I hope somehow they are doing ok.

Donu I've never been clear whether that 2 year old was from another family or was one of Peter's siblings?

People who were abused as children are affected for life, no matter whether the shit parents say the kids ‘never heard anything’ or whatever, they’re wrong, to blame Connollys choices to torture her kids on her own abuse is repugnant. It makes survivors feel like they’re that bit more disgusting and broken, that other people will think they’re capable or desire to inflict abuse. Connolly and her lover were simply monsters, not ill, not poor victims to be pitied, simply scum who derived pleasure in abusing kids and actively chose to do it over a prolonged period of time. Shame that there are no resources to keep her away from her surviving victims, and that the shambolic ‘justice’ system felt entitled to release it back into to society again.

Donu I've never been clear whether that 2 year old was from another family or was one of Peter's siblings?

I think that no one is allowed to say for legal reasons to protect the identity of the child, which ironically makes it kind of obvious which it is. Poor thing.