Just that really. I’m getting sick of my mother moaning about family and not doing anything about it and also telling me what I can and cannot say in order to avoid confrontation. Current exampels which are pissing me off include:
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DM, DH and I went out for a meal on Saturday to a place my uncle is slightly critical of. Lovely meal, lovely place – 100% enjoyed it. Have to go to uncles tonight to help with an IT problem and I’ve just been called to say “when you go to uncles tonight, make sure you say the place was fully decorated for Christmas, heaving with people waiting – basically over exaggerate how it was. Because if you say it was lovely but quiet by the time he tells the rest of the family we’ll have had our dinner on a tent on the beach!” I think this was the final straw that prompted this post. She won’t let him embellish how he wants then turn around and say “No, uncle, it wasn’t like that stop exaggerating” because it would cause trouble.
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A cousin of ours owes various members of the family a LOT of money via her parents who borrowed it off us (not me I might add) to buy the beneficial interest in her house when her DH went bankrupt. So ‘000s of £. Cousin hasn’t paid back a penny in nearly a decade despite holidays, regular trips to the races, lavish displays of gifts etc. I keep saying to mum, next time the parents are around, say something about when am I getting the money back. I personally would be bringing it up at every single occasion like a stuck record if I was owed over £10K but no, she won’t, because “it would cause trouble”
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DM is hosting Christmas (she’s disabled) and made the comment yesterday that uncle will be over early but Aunt will probably swan in at the last minute having been conveniently tied up with her grand kids to avoid all the prep work like she does every year. DH (who now calls her on it) said to her “so why don’t you say, look aunt, can you get over earlier as I need help and/or when she does swan in make a pointed a comment to let her know it was noted again”. As he said to me, she won’t because she’s as two faced as the lot of them.
There are lots and lots of smaller examples on a daily basis. I’ve now got to the point where I call her on it as well and its always “don’t cause trouble”. But when you try to tell he that’s what she’s like, she doesn’t see it.
There’s no point moaning about things and saying I wish it was different if you won’t do something about it.