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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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2 replies

simplyfemale · 03/12/2018 11:50

Friend is in new relationship. He isnt treating her as a girlfriend.She runs after him and he gives her crumbs to keep her hanging on. He asked my advice and opinion. I told him straight that I thought he treats her like shit, under the impression of being nice and kind etc when he is with her.For example, he calls all the shots, says when theyll meet etc..all on his terms basically.My issue is that he keeps on bringing her up in conversation, trying to convince me that he is the good guy here, when clearly this poor girl is totally in love with him and he really has no interest than a girl to have on his arm.I'm really bored with it and the more I hear,the more respect Im losing for him.I feel huge empathy for her as she has come from an abusive relationship and thinks the sun.moon and stars shine out of this man.She really is a place filler for him and comes after all the other priorities in his life. It makes me angry just to liusten to him trying to excuse his shit behaviour. So the question is...aibu to just ask him to stop wasting my time trying to convince me that he is honourable in his intentions towards this poor girl when ive already given my very honest and badly received opinion. Im Torn between being supportive as a friend and disgusted by his treatment of her. thanks

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ChasedByBees · 03/12/2018 11:56

I would have the conversation with him very bluntly and let him know you’re losing respect for him. Let him know you’ll judge him by his actions, not his justifications. It will help both of them.

simplyfemale · 03/12/2018 12:23

He is really upset that I was so blunt with him. I have never been so honest and he hardly spoke to me for a few days afterwards. Its going on now a few months and im so sick of it. Its like he cant even see that throwing a few crumbs at her is cruel. She is so sweet and just adores him.He has his needs met in that she puts no demands on him. Cant believe how Ive lost respect for him just like that! Im actually so shocked at him!

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