Feeling bad for saying I don’t like birthday presents

[Itsmegarry]

It’s my birthday today and I’m feeling really shitty.

This morning I got up, did my usual...sorting packed lunches, ironing school uniforms etc... I’ve taken the day off work so it was a bit less stressful than usual. Partner got up and more or less ignored me, didn’t say happy birthday, just went and started getting himself ready for work. Youngest daughter got up...more or less did the same thing. Eldest daughter got up, came into the living room while I was ironing with a duvet wrapped around her and muttered “Happy Birthday”
She then left the room and the 3 of them came in with some presents. Still no happy birthday from youngest or partner, btw.

Opened the presents - they got me a lovely new purse, a lip gloss in the most hideous orange colour, a bottle of perfume that I really don’t like and a pair of pyjamas. I’m usually a size 6/8 but am 6 months pregnant atm so they got me a size 12/14 pj’s 🤷🏽‍♀️ I literally haven’t put on any weight except for bump (which is actually quite huge) so while the pj top does cover my bump, the bottoms literally fall off of me.

I didn’t at all make a fuss and said thank you, that the purse was really lovely (it really was - it was an expensive designer purse) but I didn’t like the colour of the lip gloss or the perfume so was it ok if I took them back and exchanged them for something I did like, and I’d also need to take the pj’s back as they didn’t fit. Partner didn’t look too happy but said this was fine and I don’t think the kids were really that interested.

He then text me when he went to work saying he was “miffed” about the presents.

No I feel really bad for saying I didn’t like them and am sitting here on my birthday, by myself, feeling like shit ☹️ Should I have kept my mouth shut?

And thanks for all your Happy Birthdays 😁😁

Well you got an expensive designer purse

Your daughter said happy birthday

Yet you couldn’t wait a few hours before doing a cats bum face and asking about swapping a perfume 🙄 like not even a few hours. You didn’t have to pretend you like them but you also didn’t have to ask to take them back minutes after unwrapping

Maybe now go and eat some cake or something and smile? Life could be worst

How old are the children?
I think I might have made placatory noises so as not to upset them if they might care, then have a word with DH.

Suspect he couldn't get what you asked for / couldn't remember the name / didn't look very hard and thought he might get away with it. He knows he was a bit crap not trying harder so has checked in the Boots to fix it.

Just carry on as normal and enjoy your day.

Happy Birtbday

I don't think you were rude if you said it in the way you wrote it. End of the day some people are hard to buy for but some family members should know you better or ask what you want. I got my OH jean paul gaultier for xmas this year until we decided not to buy each other (baby and wedding to prepare for) I told him what I had already got him to see if he wanted it or to gift to someone else and he said oh gift it to someone else I've never really liked that, I didn't take offence and no not to buy it in future. I'd rather that then my hard earned cash go to waste. He'll get over it. My -passive- aggressive side would have probably text back saying well I'm pretty miffed with the no happy birthday or the lack of knowledge of what I like. BUT then again I am hormonal currently and at least he tried! Happy Birthday! Go do some retail therapy or go to a nice coffee shop for a drink and some cake!

Your husband sounds pretty horrible actually. On my birthday mine gives me a cuddle and a kiss and wishes me a happy birthday and produces a card and gifts. He always buys a birthday cake and takes me out

Those are the basics aren't they? I do the same for him.

So he woke up and didn't even wish you happy birthday. That is what I call rude. Why is he like that? Does he not really give a shit?

And on a re read ... he got up and ignored you. You've got far bigger issues than some gifts you don't like much. That's a red herring and previous posters saying you're rude and completely missing the point.

He sounds un-loving by your own words

When I proposed to DW, she said words to the effect of
"Yes, but that ring will have to go back".

My first Christmas presents were some chocolates and a necklace. I ate the chocolates and the necklace went back.

Still together, 16 years on, but we don't really go a whole hog on birthdays :)

@PinkHeart5914

Are you always that snide? Or bitchy? Sounds like you maybe need to go and eat some cake, crack a smile and not seem like a troll on MN 🙄

OP, I don’t think you were unreasonable to say you didn’t like something. Pretending to like it then saying later “Actually, I don’t like that” is worse in my opinion. If you don’t like something, you don’t like it, end of. Doesn’t matter when you say you don’t like it 😐

Doesn’t sound like you were rude either. You said you didn’t like the colour of the lipgloss - perfectly reasonable to ask to change it for a colour you do like, I mean it’s not as if you said you didn’t like the gift altogether. And you didn’t like that particular kind of perfume, so could you change it for a perfume you did like. What’s wrong with that?!!

Sounds like most of these posters would rather pretend they liked something then let it sit in a drawer and go to waste, which is 100 x worse than asking to change the colour or smell of something, IMO.

Happy Birthday and enjoy the rest of your day!

Seems like you were a bit inconsiderate and should refund it secretly.

I think if you go to the trouble of asking someone what they would like for their bday you should listen to the answer. If you then get it wrong then thats on you and you should suck up the negative reaction from the partner. It's not that fucking difficult.

I think you should have just quietly exchanged them rather than saying you didn't like them.