to ask for your help solving this impossible riddle/joke

[killingtime9198]

My best friend's family have a family 'joke', which she originally told me about when we were about 12/13. When she originally told me she didn't get the joke either, but then later did manage to work it out. When she first met her now husband he didn't get it, but he later also worked it out. I have never managed to get it, and every now and again I will remember the saga of this joke (this has been going on for about 20 years now), try desperately for a few days to work it out and then forget all about it for months.

Anyway, I wonder if the powers of mumsnet can either locate someone who has heard this 'joke' before, or who can work it out!

The joke is:

'There once was a man called Boswell. For short they called him Bos, and he walked up the post office steps.'

The joke is definitely NOT that there is no joke, and they're all having a laugh at me for trying to work it out - I am 100% confident of this.

For short: they called him Bos... And he walked up the post office steps'. I.e. They've missed out the whole story to cut it short and skip to the final sentence.

You don't say "For short" when you are about to tell the short version of a story, you say "To cut a long story short".

'There once was a man called Boswell. For short they called him Bos, and he walked up the post office steps.'

'Why?'

'Oh, you're supposed to say What for?'

'Ok, what for?'

'Well...'

'What the fuck are you going on about?'

And furthermore why would the riddle be to both guess the correct question "What for?" and also the ludicrous answer to that question: "Well"

IS THIS A FAIR SUMMARY OF THE THEORIES SO FAR?

For context the posted "joke" is:

There once was a man called Boswell. For short they called him Bos, and he walked up the post office steps.'

Various Punctuation Variations
(some depend on the revised version posted by OP as the version written out by the best friend which had a second "and" in it.

1. There once was a man called Boswelland Forshort.They called him "Bos!". And he walked up the post office steps.'

His name is Boswelland Forshort. They called him Bos and he walked off because he ignored them - it not being his name.

1. There once was a man called Boswell Forshort. They called him "Bos!", and he walked up the post office steps.'

His name is Boswell Forshort. They called him Bos and he walked off because he ignored them - it not being his name.

1. Thereonce was a man. Called Boswell for short. They called him "Bos!! and he walked up the post office steps.'

His name is Thereonce. He was known as Boswell for short. They called out to his "Bos" but he walked away it not being his name.

The four letters pun

4.There once was a man called Boswell. FOUR SHORT they called him Bos, and he walked up the post office steps.'

Bos is four letters short of Boswell.

In addition some theory about him getting more letters from the post office.

The Boscombe Down Theory

5.There once was a man called Boswell. For short they called him Bos, and he walked up the post office steps.' But did Boscombe Down?

@Pipnik's niche Wiltshire theory that the joke leads to an unspoken punchline

But did Boscombe Down?
(Its a military site in Wiltshire)

The Story Cut Short Theory

6.You expect you're going to hear a proper story but it's cut short. So
'There once was a man called Boswell.
For short: they called him Bos... And he walked up the post office steps'. I.e. They've missed out the whole story to cut it short and skip to the final sentence.

The Mornington Crescent Theory

1. The joke is that there is no joke but you have to pretend there is and that it's funny.

The Designed to Provoke the question "What For?" Theory

1. Listener asks "what for?" To lead to some response about the letters "W" "e" "l" "l".

An unidentified visual joke theory

1. Based on the friend saying "it's better in person" a theory that this "joke" is like that game when you pass the scissors crossed or uncrossed by the "joke"/"secret" is not that the scissors are open or closed but that the person passing has their legs crossed or uncrossed.

Thus that the teller has to do or signal something that gives the "joke" an additional meaning that we do not have here.

General load of bollocks theory

10. Total wind up by the friend based on fact no amount of googling gives any indication of any similar joke.

Is that everything? I gave up at about p. 20 and read the last page?

Why the long face 😞😁

A talking unicorn walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of John Smith's bitter.

• certainly says the barman, that'll be sseven quid please.

After serving the unicorn the barman says, ' I hope you don't mind me saying, but we don't get many talking unicorns in here'

To which the unicorn replies 'I'm not fucking surprised given how much you charge for a pint of John Smiths'.

Hmm, but I think you'd be more likely to say "And?" rather than "What for?" at the end of that.
It's not remotely a mystery, or even interesting, why people go to the PO/ library, so it's more a case of "continue" rather than "why did they do that?"

If that makes sense!

butchyrestingface oh I agree it's shit and doesn't really work and I kind of hope that's not the answer!
In that case, what about, it's something to do with 'bos' being four letters short of- commits hara kiri

An excellent summary of the hell that is this thread.

@BoswellsLastStand

I'd always wondered who created and edited all of those Wikipedia pages which go into extensive detail about the most trivial of subjects

Brilliant summary BoswellsLastStand ! 😂

Do this instead caboodle.nationalbooktokens.com/hiddenbooks/?competition=13

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

I'd always wondered who created and edited all of those Wikipedia pages which go into extensive detail about the most trivial of subject

It's entirely self serving because I'm hoping there is an answer to be produced.

I forgot to tag @killingtime9198.

@killingtime9198 - about 6 or 7 posts above this is a summary I posted of the seventh circle of hell all the different theories.

It's something to do with a wedding - maybe he has to get married in a post office instead of a church? This is why you're allowed to be told on your wedding day and why Derek is posting lots of little bridal people.

No that's insane isn't it?

Another shit idea:
There once was a man called Boswell. ' for short', they called him. Bos and he walked up the post office steps.

Bos being an entirely separate person from 'for short'.

That's so rubbish I can't believe I just typed that out.

Could it be that they have to be in front of you to then tell you this 'joke' but using whomever they last saw? So, it's a constantly evolving thing?
Op, can your friend just PLEASE tell you!!?? I'm sure she can explain it in non-person.

Hmmm dm is equally baffled but we are leaning towards pipniks Boscombe Down theory
Hurry up Thursday no work is being done in her house either as she has enlisted df

Could someone please explain Boscombe Down-I seem to have missed it!

Why does anyone think the "friend" is going to suddenly spill the beans on Thursday when they haven't for the last 20 years?

Maybe the BoswellsLastStand's dossier will convince them the madness needs to end?

I'm going with:

'For (four) short they called him Bos and he walked up the PO steps'

'What for (four)?'

'WELL'

But it's shit.

Screw waiting til Thursday! Can your friend post on here today?!

I think the Mumsnet jury were correct about “And” being what Boswell was called but some called him “Bos”. That would makes sense why it wouldn’t matter if “And” walked up the stairs to the library or the post office. Oh and Mumsnet Madness tweeted this.

@Diddl

There once was a man called Boswell. For short they called him Bos, and he walked up the post office steps.'

But did Boscombe Down?

@captainpantbeard I hit gunned down for a similar theory earlier and was told to read the previous 700+ messages but I'm with you on that one. Surely??!

OP's friend has said it isn't for/four.