To change driving instructors

[LearningToDrive]

I know there have been threads before about this, and I've read the advice but I'm still really unsure on what to do!

I'm about 15 lessons in and some things are going well (overall confidence, especially on the dual carriageway which I never thought I'd be happy driving on) and in others (roundabouts, junctions) I'm progressing very slowly.

Things that I'm struggling with my driving instructor:

1. He has a really thick accent, his way of saying things, his voice of words, I find hard to understand sometimes. Like instructions during driving, I then need him to clarify and end up losing precious seconds on the road that I need to execute the instruction. I've gotten used to some/most of it, but at this point I'm still saying, "I don't understand, what do you mean?" because of his accent or choice of words.

2. His way of saying things often sounds like an admonishment. I honestly can't tell sometimes whether he's trying to tell me that went well or that went poorly! For example, about 10 lessons in, I'd made some small mistakes earlier in the lesson that he'd corrected, but I wasn't worrying about them. After a period of what I thought was good driving, he got me to pull over and asked me how I thought that went. I racked my brains over what had gone wrong in the last 15 mins, couldn't think of anything, felt like a crap driver and burst into tears. He said he'd been trying to get me to say I'd been improving! I know it's a bit of an overreaction but even in my last lesson, he'll ask me what I thought of something I'd just done, and I often feel like it's an admonishment. I do tell him if I think it went well! But it does chip at my confidence a bit. He did say early on that if he wasn't saying anything then I was doing fine.

3. When I make a mistake, he immediately exclaims "why did you do that?!". It really annoys me because there's no good answer - I forgot, I lost concentration, I wasn't sure, etc...I don't want to be racking my brains analysing the mistake when I'm still trying to drive. I find I do that a lot, that I make a mistake, I get rattled by what he says, space out thinking about what happened and make more mistakes. My mistakes often happen in bunches between periods of good driving. He can sound irritated, annoyed, frustrated with me, but I don't know if it's his accent and he's not actually.

4. He keeps saying I'm panicking when I'm not. I'm just being cautious! I find that word really annoying!

5. I change gears and drive at a slower speed than he'd like. I'm trying to take his advice about thinking through what I need to do before I do it, but it takes a couple seconds longer and then he barks out "why are you driving slowly?", " Why haven't you changed gears?" So I end up defending myself and it makes me annoyed, and I don't want to feel that way on the road!

I guess I'm just not sure about how much of this is us not being a very good fit, and how much is me being oversensitive or a bit slow about learning some things - I'm still misjudging left and right turns! A lot of things are going well and I'm enjoying driving so much more than i expected. I'm a bit worried about changing instructor (it's a big national school) and ending up with someone worse. Because he's not horrible or a bad teacher by any means, but these little things are bothering me.

I think I'm also not sure what kind of instructor would suit me best - patient and gentle, or a bit tough. After he admonished me several times for being too slow and lacking confidence, I made a concerted effort to drive faster and more confidently. I'm not sure if I want to be that kind of driver though - I like being slow and overcautious! DH says being too slow can be dangerous too though, and I range hood point.

That last sentence I meant to say I take his point!

There not little things at all. You need a driving instructor that makes you feel comfortable - learning to drive is stressful and you need someone who will make you feel as calm as possible. It's not about whether he's good or not, he just doesn't suit you.

If you felt more confident you will be able to drive faster I wouldn't worry about that for now and he shouldn't be pushing you to drive faster when you don't feel ready. This is likely to cause an accident.

*!They are

I had about 12 instructors in the end (took automatic and then did manual 15 years later). I developed the realisation that most driving instructors aren't very bright. In London, good ones are like gold dust, passed on by word of mouth, and you can't get appointments with them for love nor money, especially not in summer when students are learning. It sounds like you have learned all you can from this fellow, and time to ask around for someone new. If you are in London, PM me and I can give you a recommendation.

Thanks for reading through all that and your advice! Yeah, even when making mistakes, I note them but don't get upset or worry about them at the time. But my instructors reaction will bother me a lot more. I wasn't sure if it is me being oversensitive. But I guess the middle of a driving lesson isn't the time for self improvement? 😁

When you do your test you’ll have to take instructions from another person, maybe now is the time to try that out? Try a lesson with another instructor. You have nothing to lose.

You can always try someone new. I had one instructor for about a year, very lovely, patient and we got on well. After failing 3 tests I tried out someone else for 2 lessons and didn't get on with their teaching style at all. Stuck with my first instructor then and was glad I did.

Why wouldn’t you change if you want to? I tried out quite a few...it wasn’t that there was anything wrong with them. I didn’t pass easily and there were long gaps between the test and re starting. One instructor fell off the radar so I had to go elsewhere. Then I took lessons in a different town. This type of thing.

It wouldn’t have occurred to me to ask permission to change instructors. It’s just a business contract. You are doing very well, so be bold, and look for an instructor who gives you skills AND confidence.

So I did change...and my new instructor has the same teaching style as my old one, but s even louder and berates me on everything including non driving stuff. And laughed at me for things I didn't know. And I've being doing some key things wrong so I need to unlearn a lot while trying to take on new things.

So it was an awful lesson and I've gone from driving confidently on the dual carriageway last week to panicking over mistakes on quiet roads.

My mistake was staying with the driving school where I can't get any personal recommendations or any idea of their teaching style. I'm going to try to find someone outside it (though I'm not sure how to get personal recommendations - I've asked on a Facebook group and I'm googling reviews), but I'm feeling very, very down about driving at the moment.

I would just change, go on a local facebook group and ask for a personal recommendation. I had a few different teachers and it definitely makes a big difference. I had one just like you're describing, he always came across as really critical. He couldn't just say "you need to increase your speed" or "you need to change up here" it always had to be "why on earth are you in this gear?", "Why are you driving at this speed?". Trying to think of an answer was distracting and the tone was so demoralising. The new instructor would just tell me "you need to change up", "you should be driving at at least 35 down this road".