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AIBU?

ADHD, can't study, essay due tomorrow, getting upset

35 replies

BrainOnSpinCycle · 02/12/2018 20:02

I have about 800 words left to write and about eight tables and diagrams left to insert into the essay. I cannot focus and am starting to feel upset.

I was diagnosed as an adult and worked really hard on cutting out self loathing self talk, and not being able to do this assignment well is just making all the shame and frustration start up again. Starting to wonder if I even have adhd or if I'm just lazy and stupid.

I just need to write this all down I'm trying so hard and it's like I'm a rat on a wheel for all the good intentions. I don't know what to do, I'm supposed to have study skills but there's a delay in funding my Dsa as they wouldn't accept my consultant's letter - I don't understand this but don't have time or energy to argue. So it's back to the gp and waiting for them to fill out the form.

Could cry tonight I'm so overwhelmed.

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BertieBotts · 03/12/2018 12:05

YY study skills help. Though bear in mind things like study skills often work better once you are medicated, so if you get the study skills sessions before medication, just try to hold onto the materials and come back to them if it's not working for you. Plus don't be afraid to tweak things, if it's not working for your brain.

These Youtube channels might help:

How to ADHD - Study skills playlist.

College Info Geek - I don't think he has ADHD but I find his tips really ADHD friendly.

I absolutely wonder what if I was diagnosed at school! But look, you're studying now which is an amazing achievement and you CAN do this, especially now you have access to the support.

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BertieBotts · 03/12/2018 12:09

Something else - I have a list, cloud-based so I can't lose access to it, of everything I've tried which worked, including specifics if possible, things I've tried which didn't work for me and (if I can) notes as to why, things/ideas/techniques I'd like to try in the future.

Because I tend to fall out of good habits this prevents me from needing to reinvent the wheel. DH pointed out that I'd have some minor failure and this would cause me to have a total meltdown and believe I needed to start all my systems from scratch whereas really I could just carry on with what I have. Only I can't "just" carry on because it's like I had everything carefully ordered, and dropping one causes me to drop all of the others so I would have to start from scratch. Having my systems set up ready to go again makes that process quicker, at least.

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BrainOnSpinCycle · 03/12/2018 13:43

Feeling so defeated. It's nearly 2pm and it's due at 5pm and I only have two tables done, no diagrams. Still need to write the conculusion. My lecturer has sent me a email making it clear she thinks I'm stupid saying my project idea is ok but not the most relevant.

I'm too slow, I hate this why did I think I could do university. Thinking of emailing and withdrawing what a waste of money.

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Doddlemoose · 03/12/2018 13:48

Just a conclusion to write - you can do it. Most people get told their ideas aren’t great at some point - just power through and get this done!

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BrainOnSpinCycle · 03/12/2018 18:07

Well, I sent it in! Christ knows if it will pass but I really hope it scrapes through somehow.

I feel excited at having completed it, but also a bit scared in case I get a really crap overall degree grade. It's so hard.

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