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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

urgent Mumsnetter advice needed!!!

34 replies

justaminutedarling · 02/12/2018 19:40

This is a weird one... my husband has just told me that a colleague of his (who I don't know and will never meet) wants to buy our 7 year old daughter christmas present... she doesn't know him either and never will... h (sorry I can't bring myself to call him 'dh'! is being really weird about it and defensive and doesn't seem to want to admit that it's a bit odd!! The only thing he'll say about this bloke is that he's difficult to work with but a nice man... I'm more weirded out by h's attitude that the gift itself tbh! Feel like I've entered the twighlight zone here and need back up! tyia Confused

OP posts:
PurpleWithRed · 02/12/2018 19:43

Why does he want to buy her a present?

BadgerWithRice · 02/12/2018 19:44

I’m not sure why he has announced it to your DH but can’t see the issue otherwise tbh.
I buy small gifts for my colleague’s children and they sometimes reciprocate (usually £5-10) but we dont really discuss it, just bring them in near to the time.
Maybe your DH talks about your DD at work and he feels like its a friendly thing to do.

Original poster
justaminutedarling · 02/12/2018 19:47

update... jeez! talk about getting blood out of a stone... he sent h a link to foliosociety and said to choose a book from it... it's 40 quid! He's doing the same for another colleague's child so maybe it's not as sinister as it seems...maybe he's just a lovely old man...maybe he's actually Santa! Shock

OP posts:
Ceecee18 · 02/12/2018 19:47

If he has never met her and won't be meeting her then I agree that it's a bit weird, but don't really see how it's a problem.

PersonalM0Tee · 02/12/2018 19:48

Lots of people talk about their children, families, pets, hobbies, holidays with their work colleges generally (not the details) it is normal

Inkythemouse · 02/12/2018 19:51

I work with someone who is desperate to be a grandparent and as this is unlikely to happen they give gifts to colleagues children even though it's rare they see them. Maybe it's something like that

Maymiracle2 · 02/12/2018 19:52

My baby is 7 months old today. She started sleeping through the night a month ago until 10 days ago. She is wakes up screaming and crying. Doesn't want milk. Change her nappy. Rock her sing to her. I'm so very tired. What can be wrong. Please someone tell me.

BadgerWithRice · 02/12/2018 19:52

Perhaps he doesn’t have a lot of family and this gives him the opportunity to be generous. Unless he’s repeatedly offered to babysit or gain access to your Dd, it sounds like a kind gesture

Original poster
justaminutedarling · 02/12/2018 19:55

Inky that's one of the thoughts that crossed my mind too but dh doesn't know him well enough to know if that's the case...maybe I should just assume it's that and think no more of it Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
justaminutedarling · 02/12/2018 19:57

tbf a babysitter would be really handy... Wink

OP posts:
Maymiracle2 · 02/12/2018 19:57

Sorry I wrote my problem on ur thread. I'm new to this. Again sorry. Don't know how to delete it

Original poster
justaminutedarling · 02/12/2018 20:00

ok... I over-reacted. If DH had mentioned it in a more normal way rather than being so weirdly defensive I might have reacted differently (would still have been a bit puzzled but not freaked out puzzled!) Thanks everyone for helping me put it into perspective

OP posts:
Original poster
justaminutedarling · 02/12/2018 20:02

it will be a phase May... it's always one phase after another Smile could it be night terrors? Hope you find some answers x

OP posts:
EmmaGrundyForPM · 02/12/2018 20:05

Is colleague originally from.another country? I used to work with someone from Southern Europe who gave colleagues gifts for their children even though they'd never met them.

FishFingersAndCustard11 · 02/12/2018 20:08

I don't find anything sinister about it op, although I do agree a £40 toy is extravagant for a child he will never meet or speak to. I would thank him and buy him a bottle of fizz and box of chocolate in return.

@Maymiracle2
Could it be teething? My DD got her first two teeth though at 6.5 months. Maybe your baby has some teeth cutting. Ashton and Parsons teething powder worked best for my daughter. Good luck, sleep deprivation is horrible Thanks

Gimmeesugar · 02/12/2018 20:09

Those Southern Europeans. Always buying gifts for children they don’t know....

Original poster
justaminutedarling · 02/12/2018 20:58

thank you Fish :)
oh gawd this leads to another dilemma - I'm a great believer in 'thank you' letters but seems weird to ask a child to write one to an old man she's never met! Maybe I'm over-thinking the whole thing now...

OP posts:
Huntawaymama · 02/12/2018 21:03

Off the point but those books are amazing!I'd love the fairy one for my DD's and I

FittonTower · 02/12/2018 21:03

I have a good friend i worked with before i had my children. She's retired now and lives at the other end of the country but she sends my children lovely presents every year for christmas and birthday. She's never met them but she likes buying them gifts - no grandchildren of her own yet which might make a difference when she does. Not odd tho i don't think, she's just kind.

FittonTower · 02/12/2018 21:03

(And they always send thank you cards, i don't see why they wouldn't)

Gravel1 · 02/12/2018 21:04

hes just being nice to your husband maybe

HollowTalk · 02/12/2018 21:08

Just a card from the child, saying, "Dear Mr X. Thank you for the beautiful book - name of book - it was really kind of you. I hope you had a lovely Christmas."

CatFem · 02/12/2018 21:13

My DH would do something like this for a colleague's child, especially if colleague regularly talked about child.

Kintan · 02/12/2018 21:53

Why would it be weird for her to write a thank you letter? And I’m still confused what you thought the ‘sinister’ motives might be?

EmeraldVillage · 02/12/2018 22:03

Of course you should keep a filter but I’d also bear in mind that lots of people get pleasure in giving gifts.