I don't want my sister walking off with baby

[Spanglyprincess1]

She loves him, wants children of her own but is struggling.
She keeps just walking in saying she wants to take him and leaving for half hour or so. He's completely safe with her but I don't like it.
He's five months old.
No idea why I don't like it tbh, I just don't. Sometimes he's crying and she refuses to hand him back to me untill I get cross or our mom tells her off.

I would hate that! What does she think she's doing, just taking him?

First thing I'd do is to lock the door so that she can't just come in when she wants.

You don't need to give her any reason, it's your baby.

Sometimes he's crying and she refuses to hand him back to me untill I get cross or our mom tells her off

You need to get cross quicker.

Were a really close family
She struggled when I was pregnant so I'm glad she loves her nephew , it just makes me uncomfortable when she didn't listen. I'm his mom!

Your mum has to tell your sister off? How old? Do you all live together?

No next door and all 30's

BIL’s GF is like that. It’s very disconcerting. I have other friends who have struggled with fertility and they are not like this. I reduced contact a little bit over time because it was v stressful. It’s hard to put my finger on what was ‘off’ but there was this weird possessiveness. It has become worse as I now have two kids and she is heading into a stage where potentially she will be childless- when we are out she wants to push the buggy with DS2 and hold DS1’s hand so that anyone out and about would think they were a family of 4. She also wanted to give the kids a bath one day and I thought that was crossing the line. So nothing offensive but just a little over the top in a way that made me uncomfortable. Trust your gut instincts.

Be firmer and stand up for yourself - your baby, your rules.

Set some boundaries. Can’t follow the house rules? Then you can’t come round. Won’t hand my baby back? You can’t hold him.
Next door? Wow. Claustrophobic!

Were moving I'm two weeks,!

Bet you can’t wait!

Sometimes he's crying and she refuses to hand him back to me untill I get cross or our mom tells her off.

To be honest someone who repeatedly refused to hand back my baby after being asked directly wouldn’t be holding the baby.

When she comes in and says she wants to take the baby out and then leaves with him, have you ever said no, how does she react to that?

You are an adult.

He is your child.

Say "No".

If she starts crying and/or uses emotional blackmail turn around and say her attitude when she is around your son upsets him. Repeat this like a broken record as no one has the right to upset children especially young ones for no good reason.

My aunt used to do this when we were kids. She’d announce she was taking us out for the day and pretend she was our mum when strangers asked! We found it funny at the time. But she really wanted children of her own and she enjoyed ‘pretending’ with us. Our mum was very laid back about it and never let it bother her. She knew our aunt adored us, we loved her and we always had a good time. Difficult for you when yours is so little though.... I know it must be disconcerting.

she refuses to hand him back to me untill I get cross or our mom tells her off.

WTF! She is in her 30s?!

She wouldn’t be back in my house until she could show that she had grown up a bit!

'No you can't take him right now.'

Tell her you understand but that she has to understand your feelings too. How far away are you moving?

No, I really wouldn't be happy with that. I struggled to have a child and my both my siblings have children. There was never an occasion when I refused to hand their child back, not even jokingly. We're really close, and even on bad days when I thought I'd never have a baby and they were particularly soft and cuddly, that would never have crossed my mind. I'd tell her as kindly as possible to bog off.