To want to see family members open their presents

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In my family, we always open presents in front of the giver so we can say thank you and they can see our reaction to the gift. This sometimes means getting presents before or after Christmas. For example, we won't see my grandparents until the dsy after boxing day so DD (18 months) will get presents from them then.

My husbands family seem to open all the presents on Christmas day and then do a general "thanks for all the presents" when they see us. I don't know if the kids even know which gifts were from us or if they're just a general bunch of presents. We have spent (quite a lot of) money on gifts but don't see the kids open their presents or play with them. This year we will see them on boxing day, WIBU to keep their kids presents to open that day? WIBU to ask them not to give DD her presents until we see them? DH says he doesn't know, so I was wondering if other families do the same and how you would feel.

If you are going to see them just take the presents with you

I know what you mean but I don’t think it is a big deal. I like watching people open gifts but actually dislike opening things in front of other people. So I can see both sides!

In my family the older generation always keep their gifts back until they see us. I would simply ask.

“I’d love to see the kids open their gifts, do you mind if we bring them Boxing Day? I’d love to do that but don’t want to upset them. Let me know, thanks!”

I'd recommend keeping gifts with you until boxing dad when you are there to see them opened. All too often pester power breaks the best of parental intentions/promise. Easier for you to control it. If already given, you could ask but no garentee that this will be followed/remembered etc.

Boxing Day* though if boxing dad helps, go for it

What if the reaction is a bit 'meh'?

A lot of people hate opening presents in front of the givers because of the fake enthusiasm often involved. Mmmm, wow, plastic tat, comedy socks, cheers.

Ask them?

You don't really have the right to force them to do this just because it's how your family do things, but you can ask them if they're up for a second present session on Boxing Day when you're all together.

I think it’s better for children to have their presents spread out, it’s less overwhelming for them, prolongs the excitement and allows them to appreciate better each gift rather than having one huge amount of presents to open at once.

@AutumnCrow
We dont buy for the adults so no novelty socks etc. The oldest child is 8 so mostly they are young kids so everything is exciting anyway.

In our family the giver brings the presents with them and they are opened then. Makes for more present opening opportunities for DC which makes it all spread out better. Also stops "Santa" getting confused with everyone else.

My Uncle used to wait until everyone else had opened all their presents. He would then ceremoniously get out his pile, inspect each present with care, get out his paper knife and open each parcel painstakingly folding the wrapping as he went. There was always far more excitement over his socks, book, toffees and hankies than there had been for anyone else's parcels.

We always work it so that people can see you open them. I’m some cases this means we open gifts late November but it’s just so nice to see people’s faces.

DD always gets gifts from her GM on Boxing Day as that when we see her. Wouldn’t dream of her missing watching DD open them. That’s the joy of it.

Just bring the presents when you see them.

My family gives gifts as we see them. So my parents see us on Christmas Eve and we open presents from them then. We don't see my sister, brother or cousins til new year, so open those presents then.

Christmas Day is just us and Santa presents.

Dh's family used to do all presents on Christmas Day. We were all supposed to "send the presents to Santa for him to deliver". It was a pita, because we don't see them that often so had to make a special trip in the run up, just to exchange but not open presents (in secret because the presents were supposed to be brought by Santa). Then we would see them on boxing day and the kids would be told to say thank you but they had no idea what they were thanking us for. I have now converted them to my way of thinking 😁 and we do present exchange on boxing day, including opening the presents, which I make sure have a game for me the kids to play while dh endures the conversations with elderly relatives

If its young children just bring the presents with you when you visit.

Anyone older, let then open them xmas morning, there is nothing worse than having to open a present in front of the 'giver' and having to pretend its wonderful when its really just charity shop fodder.

I like opening/giving presents in front of people too and always get frustrated when they're kept aside for whatever reason. Same with birthdays etc.

I dislike opening presents in front of the giver

In my DH family they do this, and you open a present with all eyes on you and feel you have to overdo the awesomeness of the present and then over thank.

I detest opening presents in front of people, and would rather get no gifts than be expected to perform like a circus clown.

Giving should be it’s own reward, there’s no need to observe your largesse in action.

its a really cultural thing though - i hate opening gifts in front of the giver. i was brought up with opening gufts in front ofvthe giver being greedy and unkind (kind of “lets check if your gift is worth saying thank you”). if i now have to open a gift in front of the giver, i feel really greedy and bad - and end up hiding the gift/charity shopping it because just seeing it makes me feel greedy. Let people do what they like!

I agree especially if your gift isn’t even acknowledged properly. One year I had to ask my dB if the children liked their gifts and he said he wasn’t sure what I’d even bought as it was such a scrum. After that I gave them in person and I think they enjoy that better too.

I really hate having to open gifts in front of the giver. I find it really cringeworthy and false. You're expected to be really enthusiastic and greatful but it never seems genuine. I much prefer to open in private and then say thank you next time you get together in a warm, no obligations sort of way.

I spend Christmas alone (by choice) so I always save all my presents to open on Christmas Day, even the work secret Santa. I always thank people when they give me the gift, then thank them when I’ve opened it either by text, phone or when I see them next.

You give a gift for the benefit of the person receiving it, so it’s up to then how and when they open it.

It can't hurt to ask.
However you would get a No from me, our tradition has always been that Father Christmas delivers ALL the presents on Christmas Eve so I wouldn't want anyone ruining our family tradition.However I always write down who sent what gift so my children can thank the right person.
Also I personally hate the idea of opening presents in front of people - I do not have a poker face.

I hate opening presents in front of people. All of us in the family really do.

AND YET - our biggest family tradition is all getting together in a big circle on xmas afternoon and spending a couple of hours going round clockwise opening the presents one at a time in turn while everyone else watches

I guess we all like watching just a little bit more than we all hate being watched

When ours were small we stretched out opening presents for as long as possible. Generally, we opened with one family on Christmas Day and the others on Boxing Day. Then g-dparents on another day.
It was a combination of being there to see them being opened and the kids not being overwhelmed.

It also gave them a chance to play with things before being nagged to open the next one.