Page 2 | Fwb 23 years age diff is that bad?

Coldshoulders · 2018-12-02T14:50:17+00:00

Been seeing this guy who I knew for years n years he's 23 years older than me in 26 and he's 49 is it bad? I myself don't mind as I obviously like him but worried other people may say things x

halfwitpicker · 02/12/2018 18:58

Yeah, chocolate coffee, why?

WinterfellWench · 02/12/2018 18:59

WinterfellWench · 02/12/2018 19:05

Funny how he is 49 now, he was 45 in your thread from the other day.

You also said you have deleted his number and have no way of contacting him.

So which is it?

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 02/12/2018 19:15

I just find it pointless. You're not friends with someone you're having sex with. That's not friendship. And I get that people have no strings sex, but to keep going back to the same person for sex suggests that you want more than they are giving. I doubt many people would go for casual hook ups over sex in a loving relationship if given the choice.

JacquesHammer · 02/12/2018 19:26

I just find it pointless. You're not friends with someone you're having sex with. That's not friendship

I think you’re misunderstanding. We’re very definitely friends. We were friends first, we now just have sex sometimes too.

And I get that people have no strings sex, but to keep going back to the same person for sex suggests that you want more than they are giving

Definitely not. Going back to the same person makes it as risk free as possible.

I doubt many people would go for casual hook ups over sex in a loving relationship if given the choice

I would. I’ve been single for almost 5 years. I have no desire to ever have a relationship. I never will. But I like and want sex.

HidingFromMyKids · 02/12/2018 19:30

How do you have time for all this 'hot sex' when you have a child with autism.

You've been repeatedly told to get out of this situation before you get hurt. You like him and he's using you sorry.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 02/12/2018 19:31

No I don't agree. I don't see the appeal. Your fwb is probably not exclusively sleeping with you so it's not entirely risk free. It's giving yourself to someone and getting nothing back in return, apart from sex, none of the commitment and freedom to shag others which is what most men probably dream of. Cheap and nasty.

JacquesHammer · 02/12/2018 19:35

No I don't agree

What, you don’t agree with what my feelings are?

I don't see the appeal

So don’t do it.

Your fwb is probably not exclusively sleeping with you so it's not entirely risk free

That’s why I said as risk free as possible. Obviously I’m not exclusively sleeping with him either...

It's giving yourself to someone and getting nothing back in return, apart from sex, none of the commitment and freedom to shag others which is what most men probably dream of

I’m female. It’s exactly what we both want

Cheap and nasty

Oh please. Are we really still perpetuating the crap that women can only enjoy sex in a relationship?

Birdsgottafly · 02/12/2018 19:37

"but to keep going back to the same person for sex suggests that you want more than they are giving"

No, it means that you've found someone that you have great sex with.

"It's giving yourself to someone and getting nothing back in return, apart from sex, none of the commitment"

If you want sex and not commitment, then it suits your purpose.

It's only cheap and nasty if you think Women shouldn't have sex outside of a committed relationship.

user1473878824 · 02/12/2018 19:43

Take it the OP isn’t coming back now she’s been rumbled.

WinterfellWench · 02/12/2018 19:46

I agree with @chocolatecoffeeaddict there is something cheap and distasteful about FWB. And as they said, it's a 100% cert that he is not just fucking you.

He has all of the sex and none of the commitment, and freedom to fuck other people. I bet these women who have an FWB, only have that one men who they fuck. I bet none of these women shag other men. (Prob hoping that her FWB will fall hopelessly in love with her.) You can bet HE is getting plenty of sex from other women though.

And I am not saying women should not be fucking outside a committed relationship; I don't see ANYone saying that. Having casual one night stands - men OR women is fine (for a short time, not long term.) But this FWB business is bollux. Utter bollux. In a matter of time ONE of the 2 people will want more (and like it or not, it will be more than likely the woman.)

I say one night stands short term, because constantly shagging different people, week in, week out, month in, month out, for many years, shows a much deeper issue. And it's also very risky and doesn't make ANYone look good. I mean men OR women, before you get your panties in a bunch!

JacquesHammer · 02/12/2018 19:50

And as they said, it's a 100% cert that he is not just fucking you

I don’t need monogamy.

He has all of the sex and none of the commitment, and freedom to fuck other people. I bet these women who have an FWB, only have that one men who they fuck. I bet none of these women shag other men. (Prob hoping that her FWB will fall hopelessly in love with her.) You can bet HE is getting plenty of sex from other women though

I have other men I’ve slept with. I don’t want him to fall in love with me, just as I’m not in love with him. If he does, then it’s over.

I say one night stands short term, because constantly shagging different people, week in, week out, month in, month out, for many years, shows a much deeper issue*

I don’t do one night stands. I have no issues. I like sex and don’t want a relationship.

And it's also very risky

Indeed, hence why I don’t do random hook ups.

and doesn't make ANYone look good

Look good to whom?!

JacquesHammer · 02/12/2018 19:51

But this FWB business is bollux. Utter bollux. In a matter of time ONE of the 2 people will want more

I’ve had one for 5 years. My feelings certainly haven’t changed and I don’t believe his have. So with respect you’re not in a position to tell me it’s bollocks. It’s enjoyable, fun and just what I want.

greendale17 · 02/12/2018 19:53

So when you are 37 he will be 60. Wow what could possibly go wrong.

NotANotMan · 02/12/2018 19:54

The monogamists are out again and so tiresome

FWIW I have 2 FWB, they know about each other, and I know about their other ones. It's great.

Fairenuff · 02/12/2018 20:15

He's just a shag so age difference doesn't matter.

amusedbush · 02/12/2018 20:22

He has all of the sex and none of the commitment, and freedom to fuck other people. I bet these women who have an FWB, only have that one men who they fuck. I bet none of these women shag other men.

I’m female and had a FWB for a year. He was absolutely sleeping with other people, as was I. I didn’t want a relationship. However he was a good laugh, great in bed and had lovely, expensive bedding that was much comfier than mine so I enjoyed our time together too

Sparklesocks · 02/12/2018 20:30

If it’s just sex then it doesn’t really matter how much older he is than you.
If you want more from him, the age difference might be an issue yes as you are at different stages of life.

BitchQueen90 · 02/12/2018 20:39

Ahhh, here we go. Comments from women who are horrified at the idea of FWB, assume is ONLY ever beneficial for men and that the woman is "settling."

I think it's quite ignorant actually that some people cannot possibly accept that not everyone thinks the same way they do.

I've had a FWB for 4 years, I certainly don't want anything serious with him and have been on other dates in that time. I couldn't care less who else he is shagging, I just make sure we use condoms.

I've come to the realisation that I don't want a serious relationship at all, because I am a single mum and I can't stand the idea of a stepfamily situation.

And to be honest I read some a lot the posts on here and thank my lucky stars that he is just a FWB and not a husband so if he starts acting like a twat I can get rid of him easily.

Notacluethisxmas · 03/12/2018 06:10

Ffs. I had a fwb once. It was all set up wrong. He was someone I had dated for a short time but remained close friends with. Circumstances meant neither were ready for a relationship.

We became FWB and slipped into a relationship and we now a couple. He is moving in soon.

It didn't work as just FWB for me. I got too involved. Luckily, so did he. I love him. He loves me. I now know that FWB is not for me. I know I could get hurt.

However, that doesn't mean that my brain can not grasp the fact that some women are perfectly happy with this set up. That they don't want a relationship. That they are happy with the sex without the commitment. That they can separate sex and love.

I don't like steak. Doesn't mean I can't get my brain round, the fact that other people do.

If fwb isn't for you. That's fine. But don't make digs at people who are happy with it. Don't tell people they are fooling themseleves, or settling. Accept we are all different. What suits one, doesn't suit others.

NerrSnerr · 03/12/2018 06:19

People are forgetting that women don't enjoy sex they only do it to please men. These threads are always the same with people judging women for their choices and not believing them when they say they are making an active choice.

It's almost like people are different, and like different things and have different values isn't it?