To not give my ex £300

[whaaatthe]

He helped me out looking after dc for 4 days last week so obviously missed out on a few days work, I was going to say don't bother giving me the £50 cm, and he's asked for £300! He's saying he's skint but £300? Really?

He said he's missed out on £500, but £300 would be enough to cover the bills he has coming up

but there's days I miss work due to dd being poorly etc and I don't ask him to top up my wages

So point this out to him. It's not your problem if he's skint

This could only possibly have been reasonable if you had both agreed to compensate him for his loss of earnings before you arranged for him to look after his child.

It seems generous of you to suggest he doesn't pay CM for that week. You have done enough.

I have done, also said if he hadn't chosen an expensive car he wouldn't have this problem either. He earns less than me and my bills are always paid plus money left to save.

Not earns less, earns more 🙈

You need to tell him he should be paying more for his child if he would have made £500 over 4 days... he's paying less than 10% of his income to his daughter's care.

TBH, I wouldn't get into criticising his choice of car etc...

I would just leave things now. You have said no, and made a fair offer. Anything else is just encouraging prolonged drama.

wow. getting paid to lookafter ypur own child. Tell him to grow a pair

I mentioned about buying a few bits of new furniture and having new flooring so I'm sure he's thinking I've got a load of money saved up!

I've transferred him £150 and he's said he'll give it me back in the next few weeks

ignore him.

and if he presses, send him a bill for the days you "look after" your daughter

You need to tell him he should be paying more for his child if he would have made £500 over 4 days... he's paying less than 10% of his income to his daughter's care.

This.

Why on earth have you transferred him £150? In the nicest way possible - he knows you're a doormat, no wonder hes trying to get money from you! You don't get paid for looking after your own child. I don't really understand why he was looking after them and missing work if you were only unwell - unless there's a massive dripfeed that you had major surgery and physically couldn't look after them - surely he should go to work??

Work out how much CM equates to 4 days based on what he gives you, then give him the same/deduct from what he gives you. What a blooming cheek, presumably you also miss days work looking after them while they're with you, so do you charge him what you could have earned instead? What a crazy try on!

You shouldn't have paid him anything. It's his child ffs!

If he earns £500 for 4 days work.....

Then he earns £625 per week.

12% of his gross weekly income (normal child maintenance for 1 child) is therefore £75 so he has been unpaying you by £25 a week or £25 * 47 = £1175 this year so far.

Tell him you will deduct the £300 and can he send you a cheque for the £875 he has stolen off your child ASAP.

Don't tell him what you're buying. He's not your friend. He's trying to make money out of you - that's not a friendship.

*If he earns £500 for 4 days work.....

Then he earns £625 per week.

12% of his gross weekly income (normal child maintenance for 1 child) is therefore £75 so he has been unpaying you by £25 a week or £25 * 47 = £1175 this year so far.

Tell him you will deduct the £300 and can he send you a cheque for the £875 he has stolen off your child ASAP.*

OP has stated that the child is with the father "at weekends" - assuming that includes a number of overnights, that reduces the amount of CM. So, he may be paying what is expected of him. We need to be careful about giving advice without knowing all the details. If OP goes in all guns blazing asking for money that isn't owed to her, the situation could become worse.

Why is he having your dd every weekend and you have her all week? Do you work? If you do, you’re doing all the grunt work without the nice bits.