Menopause question

[shitholiday2018]

Forgive the essential overshare. I’m having a couple of peri menopausal symptoms- severe night sweats (think dripping, literally), periods gone weird (heavy as hell for 24 hrs then trickle for 7/8 days, previously 3-5 days of normal flow). Periods varying from 3 week to longer than 4 week intervals.

I can deal with all that. I can’t cope with my moods. I feel like I’m becoming a ‘horrible’ person. Everything gets on my nerves. I’m impatient. Peoples kids and idiosyncrasies get to me to a ridiculous degree. I can’t seem to stop myself saying grumpy things and then feel terrible, judgy and mean. I’ve always been direct but I don’t seem to be able to control expressing that irritation these days. If feels all consuming. I know it’s me as EVERYONE pisses me off, it’s just awful. I feel like a negative blanket has been thrown over all my relationships.

I’ll need to take HRT when the tests show I’m truly meno (medical reasons, nasty birth damage) but not there yet.

I know exercise helps with mood, but it’s tricky to fit between kids, busy and often absent husbsnd and stressy work. I eat pretty well but do also binge on sugar and crap (no weight issues, v fast metabolism, expect that to go when I hit the big M!). Anyone got other tips? I feel like I’m becoming a miserable old trout when I have so much to be grateful for. Would love some tips on how not to become the sort of person I hate.

Could you take hrt now? It really helped me in peri menopause.

I also bought a wool duvet for the sweats, stopped caffeine, did more exercise and took Angus castus for The Rage. But, in all honesty, hrt was the thing that actually helped.

When was your last test to look at whether you are in the menopause or not?

How old are you?

I don't think you mentioned your age but blood tests aren't recommended of you are over 45. The GP would go on symptoms alone and your symptoms definitely sound as if you are peri menopausal! I would just start HRT now if I were you.

HRT make an appointment with your doctor!!

Sage for the night sweats can be really helpful. Sugar makes things worse, really bad for mood, as does alcohol (just when you want chocolate and wine more than anything else in the world!) Cut out caffeine, increase soya intake. MenoMood Black Cohosh & St John's Wort Tablets worked for me for a while but eventually I ended up on HRT which was fabulous until I got a DVT. Frankly the menopause makes adolescence look like a picnic and women need to be aware of the impact of this.

I am 43 but it runs v early in my family. Mum and grandma fully done by 42. So I’m in the zone.

Last tested a few months ago. What HRT is good? I was miserable on the pill so never took it - didnt want sex so one hundred per cent effective. No libido currently but that is nothing compared to other symptoms. Felt fat, weepy, miserable on the pill. Is HRT like That?

Why do you need tests to prove your perimenopausal since you obviously are.
I'm off hrt at the moment pending an op so the only tips I can give you are drink plenty of water,have a pack of wet wipes in the fridge for the flushes.I also got a wool duvet,it doesn't stop the hotness at night but it reduced my sweating and is easier to lift off for brief periods without tangling.
Try to cut out the sugar,keep exercising and try and create a slot if time where you can relax on your own with no interruptions.
Then talk to your gp.Marina coil could sort the period side out and then if you have hrt you just need the oestrogen component.
I found hrt made all those symptoms go away,I miss it!

I love caffeine too 😖 keeps me going when I want to die from tiredness

Coil is out, just the thought of something through my cervix after last birth makes me weak at the knees. I will go back and look at HRT. And thanks for the supplement tips - can I take on top.

Plan:
Reduce caffeine and sugar
Increase water

Is the hating everyone normal though? I feel like I’m going mad sometimes.

I hear you, I'm 40 and been feeling the same for almost 2 years. You need HRT, in fact I think it's more important if you start early due to bone density issues.
It runs early in my family too.
It colours everything. I too have been feeling pretty miserable. Also got the night sweats. Feel weepy often and angry.
It's crap.

All that shiz you hear & read about healthy lifestyle... but when you're 20yo you think "Neah, I don't need to eat healthy/exercise/drink minimally/make an effort to sleep enough/keep caffeine to sensible amounts. I'm doing fine without following any of that advice!"

I reckon age 40+ is when you can't get away with ignoring that advice any more. You will suffer if you don't follow it. Maybe you suffer more if you never followed it.

Yep the hating is normal. It does get better and yo7 get yourself back.

Hrt is a lower dose of hormones than the pill. I had to try three to find one that suited. You can get gel as well which some women find easier to tolerate. I also had to find a gp who knew what they were talking about. First said I was too young.

At ragged the two people who are the healthiest and fittest I know are suffering the worst..,,

See your GP for a start, you may be depressed.

I started a very low dose hrt when I started getting hot flushes, they came on quite suddenly and very frequently. The night sweats were intermittent for years. The hrt switched the flushes off like a light. Miraculous.

The Rage still happens occasionally but isn’t too bad. I generally feel justified but know I’m overreacting if that makes sense? Anyway discuss with your GP, we don’t have to suffer this much.

See your GP for a start, you may be depressed.

Fuck sake will people stop treating the menopause with anti-depressants???

Of course people going through the menopause will be depressed, because it is absolutely fucking shite. The answer is to treat the issue not pretend all is well, whilst women's bones crumble under the weight of the increasing lack of bone density.

Even QoN doesn't claim that healthy lifestyle is irrelevant to menop experience.

I guess I'll never know why I've had zero symptoms. Just like I'll never know why my relatives are fat when I'm not.

I am a healthy weight - always have been, never smoked etc and when the peri menopause hit I went from walking 8-10 miles a day to not being able to get up off the sofa without help. The hot flushes were 7-8 an hour at one point and yes the rage! I really don't think it is possible to predict who will sail through and who will really suffer.

Do consider HRT - it has literally given me my life back.

If you have an early menopause (as I did around 42) then HRT is very strongly recommended until you reach the usual age for menopause-around your fifties. This is to protect your bones and heart health. Like most women if you go on HRT you may need to try lots of different preparations until you find one that suits.

Ok thanks lots everyone. I’m glad it’s common, feels less like I’m going mad.

I’m not depressed. It’s totally different. It’s like extreme irritability. I don’t feel sad or weepy or bereft, I feel angry at the world but I have enough self analysis to know it’s irrational.

Can HRT be just gel not pills? Will I put on weight? Will it take a while to get used to it?

Do I tell my friends? Do I apologise for being a miserable bitch? It feels like an excuse for someone who’s got a bit old and chippy and ragey agajbst the world (had an elderly relative like this, she coloured every event, she was alwats like it I think but don’t want to turn into her)

It’s not constant but enough to make me feel a bit like a miserable bitch. I’m so not. I’m usually quite sunny. Now I’m sunny and extremely angry intermittently so it’s like hormonal bipolar.

I'm on oestrogel which is an oestrogen supplement. Gel rubbed into thighs every morning.

Also Merina coil for progesterone supplement as it's such a low continuous dose I have no periods or side effects.

My Gynae and GP both say that blood tests are a waste of time and we should be treated for symptoms.

I don't like lots of people and am less tolerant. I feel down sometimes and struggle to motivate myself. The oestrogel really helps.

Have a look at this

It explains HRT really well. Good luck.

Thank you yumsy

I had night sweats and itching at 41/2 but it turned out my vitamin D was through the floor so I had supplements and that sorted it.

If you had bloods done did they check for that and B12 and thyroid/liver function etc?

I'm 43 and feel exactly the same. Went to my gp and she put me on the mini pill (can't go on the combined pill due to migraines) i do feel better in myself although i did bleed non stop for the 1st 3 months which wasn't great. Basically the mini pill is just a much higher dose of hrt. Hrt tops up hormones. The mini pill stops your body producing any and then provides you with a big old dose of progesterone. Well the one i take does anyway (cerelle). I have no idea if i will have to go onto hrt at any point. Maybe when my periods stop? Although how will i know if the pill stops them? Fuck knows.

I do still get the rage sometimes and get a bit weepy so the mini pill clearly isn't a full solution. I'm jyst winging it to be honest. 🤔

Thanks talith. Yes I’ve had the full range of tests. All normal. I was so disappointed as I couldn’t feel less normal.

Any tips for weaning off coffee in morning? That’s my greatest pleasure. I need to go to bed earlier too I suppose. Hubby is a night owl but I can’t cope with lack of sleep. Exacerbates everything.