To not want to tell the cleaner she's taking the piss

[NotAlwaysAPushover]

NC for this as some details are outing. I've had the worst year.
Lost my DM in March, and my DF is very ill and only has a short while. I was then made redundant in October after 11 years,which was very stressful, but have fortunately found another job quickly.
Also at the end of the
summer Dh and I embarked on a large building project at our house, which we started before I was redundant. All going well but understandably messy.
Here's the AIBU. We've had a cleaner for around two years, originally because I was so tied up with my parents. She's a nice lady and I trust her and she also did cleaning for DM and was kind to her. I knew her a bit before she cleaned for me.
Prior to the building work I noticed she was regularly leaving 10-20 mins early each visit rather than doing the full 2.5 hours I pay her for. I was irritated as little things she should do were left undone but frankly with everything going on, and feeling very fragile I let it go.
Recently there's been a few weeks where I've stopped her coming due to the building work - we've had housefuls of builders, plumbers, plasterers etc, but I've paid her the £30 (2.5 hours x £12) as it's me that cancelled.
However now we're starting to get straight so she's coming again. She can't go in every room (we haven't even got a kitchen at the moment) so I said to her that I appreciate she can't do the full 2.5 hours but do what she can on terms of dust, bathrooms etc. So last week she did one hour and left (I paid her the £30 at start) and when she'd gone I discovered she'd not even wiped the dust from our bedroom drawers or windowsill.
So this week I asked her to dust in all rooms she went in and I specifically mentioned the drawers. I paid the £30.
After 1 and 1/4 hours she left. She had dusted the drawers but nowhere else.

Posted too soon. More to come....

You’ve really got to speak to her. You’ve been through a very stressful time, really sorry about that, and you haven’t had the strength to take her on.
You can’t let this go, particularly as you specifically asked her to do certain things, and she didn’t.
I would lay it on the line and give her one more chance

I wouldn't even try and resolve it, she IS taking the piss.

Pay her 2 weeks notice and let her go.

Get rid of her !! Wait till the building work has all been finished get a company to come in a do a deep clean from top to bottom!! Then get a new cleaner to come once a week!! She is taking the piss!!

I'd like to say give her a chance, but her behaviour sounds entrenched now, because you were too distracted to tackle it early enough. That unfortunately means you have kind of lost the moral high ground. I would get rid of her (she's no doubt got loads of other clients, who she was probably cleaning for in the time you were paying to do nothing).
Get someone new and have a fresh start. Be strict with them.

I realised she had only done the bits I'd mentioned. We had thick dust in the living room and even the toilet seat hadn't been cleaned.
I accept she might not be able to do 2.5 hours with no kitchen and the whole back of house out of bounds, but surely it's not U to expect her to properly clean and dust in the rooms she is in.
I feel quite swizzed. On the one hand she's been kind when I've had a tough time, but i feel I've been fair and now she's settled into leaving very early but also not doing what she should while here.
I know this sounds spineless but being fragile after a horrible year I'm not up for conflict right now. She's a defensive sort so I don't think I can fix this and keep her. So my option seems to be to give her notice. What's reasonable? 2 weeks? 1 month? Or is there anything I could say that wouldn't offend her? I feel I've been fair and paid her and acknowledged she might not have a full 2.5 hours work but she's now leaving 1 hour plus early without doing the basics. I'd love to say something and any other year I would. Until earlier this year she was fine. Obviously I've given an inch and she's taken a mile and now I have a useless cleaner. I wish there was a way to retrieve the situation!

Nah, she's definitely taking the piss. I would just tell her you don't need the service anymore and give her 2 weeks notice. She's not even doing what you're asking of her so there's no point in wasting money.

Thank you everyone. I think she is entrenched as Rattinghat says - I can't see her ever doing what she's paid for now.
I know I've contributed by not dealing with it - I just didn't have the strength to deal with her or find another cleaner. But I'm actually really cross about this now.
I'm going to give her notice. I felt it might be mean before Xmas (I'm her only client as she's semi retired) but I'm feeling less mean now.

Just say you are thinking about whether it's worth having a cleaner at the moment as everything gets dirty again the minute it's been done!

She should get the hint.

Give her one more week and if standards are not raised get rid.

I like that idea Fabulous. I could say that straight after she left there was thick dust in the living room so it's not worth it

Have a little practice, even just to yourself, before she comes so you can say the words with confidence. Good luck!

Yes OP, one more week only !
Good advice from @fabulousathome.

You don't need to explain your reasons if you give a reasonable amount of notice. Do what big businesses do - pay her to fuck off. There are plenty of hard working people in need of a job.

I was in a similar situation OP. It got to the pont it was more stressful having her here. I even had to ask her to do basic jobs like dusting away cobwebs, then instead of taking that on board I'd have to ask again the following week otherwise it wouldn't get done.

Like you I'd gone through a rough time and had builders in. I just said there was little point cleaning while the house was upside down with the builders there, and that felt up to taking care of the cleaning now. I gave her a months notice.

just say due to the mess of the work being done you've decided there is no point in her doing all this hard work for it to be messed in seconds.
even if you both know you lying you get to the the one with the smile in ur head as you saying it (bollocks)
but don't get stressed urself with the dust will you.this type of work always brings dust within seconds of anything being cleaned.but it will be over one day ok.so this isn't permanent or anything on how clean a sa family you are.
and you know what with what you save could you:buy something nice for your new home.have it saved ready for next brilliant cleaner(load off) have a nice massage or meal out with the dh.
think instead what you getting from letting her go.so much less stress in yourself.in the work not done.in everything.so just do it,you can you can you can :D

I'm her only client as she's semi retired

I wonder if she'd actually like to fully retire but hasn't wanted to say after the year you've had. Sounds to me like her heart isn't in it any more and she's secretly hoping you'll let her go (she's still taking the piss though!)

say you are thinking about whether it's worth having a cleaner at the moment as everything gets dirty again the minute it's been done

This could be a good way in to her saying she's been thinking of stopping anyway and then you'd be free to get a new cleaner after the building work is finished.

If she is still genuinely keen, it will hopefully get her going again.

My previous cleaner was a bit like this. I knew she was leaving early and only doing s superficial job. She was also really unreliable. I couldn't bring myself to sack her as she was really nice. Fortunately she didn't turn up for a few weeks so I said I'd had a huge Vets bill that the insurance wouldn't cover and couldn't afford the luxury of a cleaner. It was such a relief. My new cleaner is brilliant!

Of course these people are very nice - it is how they survive when they don't do their jobs properly. It's also not a surprise that the OP's cleaner isn't retiring when she can earn close to £30 per hour.

Can I just put it out there that feeling you have to give a plausible and diplomatic reason to get rid of a person who is exploiting you is such a woman thing.

She doesn't respect you so she takes your money and does as she pleases re cleaning, not what pleases you.

When you specifically asked her to do certain things and she didn't, that was her further showing you that there's no respect for you at all. Almost like an open challenge daring you to say something. You didn't - so now it's her rules, not yours.

I'd give her 2 weeks notice and let that be the end of it. Don't give a long protracted reason. I'd tell the truth as I don't suffer pisstakers gladly but you may not want to do this. If this is the case get your husband to do it.

Given your stressful family circumstances which she must be fully aware of, she's being inconsiderate and unkind to say the least.

Get rid.

I would just say that it's clearly pointless her coming during the building work and that you can no longer afford it. I'd focus on the financial aspect of it though as if you focus on the dust etc she will probably try and get you to give her another chance.

Agree with being very strict / businesslike with the new one. I made the mistake of being too friendly with my last one and she then just started taking the puss and was v awkward. New one I get in well with but just keep a professional distance.

If you want to avoid confrontation just give 2 weeks notice and say you can't afford it any more.

What Rattinghat said.

I wouldn’t give any notice tbh. She’s taken the piss for too long. Are you going to be around next week? Get the key at the end of the clean and tell her you won’t be needing her anymore because of the build.

Thank you everyone. I'm definitely going to give her marching orders. Like Spam says - whatever I specifically point out she might (or might not) do once, then it's back to not doing.
In reality the messiest part of the work is over. Yet the same dust that was there before she arrives is still there when she leaves
In April we were told DF had a matter of days left (this was 4 days before DM's funeral) but he's still here, albeit in a pitiful and wretched state, and is currently relatively stable although this will, at some stage, change quickly. I just appreciated the help of having a cleaner and in my head I thought that some time after DF passed I would give her notice and have time to do it myself. But it's now causing extra stress. I feel cross that she's doing this knowing full well the situation.
As Mistress says, she's doing what she pleases. Without specifically escorting her from room to room and showing her every surface she will not do those bits.
I don't think she wants to fully retire as a PP suggested, or rather she probably would like to but can't afford to. She's said she needs to supplement her income.
Still astonished that when I've acknowledged that there might not be 2.5 hours work so she can go when it's done, she would leave 1-1.5 hours early without doing the obvious things. Next week I'll make it clear we're back to normal so she can do 2.5 hours as by then (hallelujah) our new kitchen should be all functional. But she'll be on notice by then so I'm not optimistic it'll be done properly.
Incidentally new front door arrives in two weeks so she'll never have key to that before she goes. Though I would trust her not to misuse a key.
Thank you everyone - its all helped.