AIBU to feel like a really rubbish mum at the moment

[LoopyLou1981]

I’ve just shouted at my 3 year old after yet another battle to get him to sit on the potty for a poo.
It’s been 6 weeks since we started and he’s cracked wees but will hold poo for days putting himself in so much pain then poo in his pants which obviously causing mess and distress to everyone involved.
I feel like I’ve tried everything and I finally lost it and shouted at him. Now he’s in tears, I’m in tears and I feel like such a crap mum.
Has anyone got an genius ideas on how to encourage a toddler to poo without creating WW3?x

Don't beat yourself up OP. Give him a hug and have a cup of tea. All dc are different but they get there in the end. Try and relax regarding him doing a poo and reward him when he does.

Don't be too hard on yourself, toilet training is stressful! Give him a hug, an apology, and a gentle reminder that you need him to poo on the potty. Have you tried using one of those little seats on the toilet instead? My DS hated the potty, wouldn't go near it. But we had no accidents after 4 days of using the toilet. Could be worth a try. Have you got a reward chart?

My DD hasn't cracked doing poos in the potty or the toilet yet. She will only do it in a pull-up. I figured one day she will click. Don't beat yourself up too much. We all have our moments and I'm no exception to that. Maybe give them a bit longer to adjust to it. X

Dont beat yourself up. Draw a line and start again. I think you need a little guidance on toilet training. This is a common problem. Back off for a while. We all get things wrong sometimes, all of us. And it continues even when they are grown up. They seem to forgive us

I’m going to give you some terrible advice, because it’s what worked for me. I let DS have a Haribo sweet when he did a poo on the toilet. He stopped holding his pop in within a couple of days. I decided that a sweetie each day was better than Lactulose (sp?).

Poo not pop!

I too did rewards -sweet when they did a wee or a poo. They sat and did wees and then one day a poo and got a haribo!

Don't beat yourself up, potty and shouting connection you don't want but you know what you are a human. DVD, cuddle and chocolate for you both lovely x

He’s managed 2 poos using a toilet insert but only because I’m having to make him to sit there (not forcefully but sitting in front of him with constant distraction) not because he’d take himself willingly.
That was a few weeks ago and now he just fights and kicks at me if I try and carry him to the toilet or sit him on the potty.
He won’t accept a pull up on unless at bedtime.
I’m just at the end of my tether. I don’t know how else to explain that the sore tummy he keeps complaining about would be fixed if he just pooed 🙁

Don't force it. It's become a battle now so you need to pull right back.

Ds took absolutely months after sorting wees to poo in the toilet. My only advice is, back off. We tried sticker charts, books, poo goes to pooland app, nothing worked . The only thing that did was to sit him on the toilet at bedtime for 5 minutes at bed time, not even talk about pooing but have a chat or play a game on the phone, then if nothing happened we put a potty in his room, him in pull ups and asked him to try again before he went to sleep and shout us if he did one. Started to get poos in the potty after a couple of nights and poos in the toilet after 2 weeks and ever since. Ds is v regular with the time he poos though so may be a bit more tricky if your ds is not....but try not to stress so much, he will sort it when he is ready, appreciate the not knowing when this will be drives you mad

I stupidly thought DD was playing mind games with me when she did the same, turns out she had chronic constipation and needed a long term movicol prescription..... not to concern you but if he's crying with pain I'd suggest a trip to GP if things don't improve? How are the poos??