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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Help figure out if my son has additional needs

14 replies

Mrseds · 01/12/2018 11:45

Long time lurker first time posting, posted here for traffic.
My son is 8 and for the entire school years have been told he’s immature, lacks concentration and can be disruptive. I’ve always put it down to he’s the youngest in the class. But punished him for his behaviour and we would have some good days but the bad days would come again. Now finally a teacher has put in place a behaviour specialist who has come to observe the class and has picked up on ds1 and has said he needs a plan in place to help him with getting him to do his work. Teacher has said he is not naughty but is disruptive and has to be told a few times what he has to do before it sinks in, he doesn’t have dyslexia as I do and don’t see him struggling as I did. He is a bright child and can do the work it’s just getting him to sit and concentrate.
Now at home I’ve noticed ds1 behaviour is getting worse. He doesn’t listen to anything and needs to told countless time, he is also too rough with ds2 who is 19 months and even when he’s crying he doesn’t stop, he has never hurt ds2. I’m sure he also has some sensory issues, he won’t wear certain clothes for the way they feel, asking him to wear jeans just results in a major meltdown, he’s a fussy eater and will not touch a plate that has something on it he won’t eat, ds2 touched his plate with his spoon and he went mental and then last night there some how was about 6 grains of rice on his plate and he totally freaked out shouting he can’t eat the rest of his food now.
Sorry for the long post, I’m a mother who just wants some help and advice, I am aware I need to see our gp
Thanks x x

OP posts:
Redskyandrainbows67 · 01/12/2018 11:48

I would first arrange a hearing test ASAP. He’s presenting with loads of symptoms of glue ear.

Mrseds · 01/12/2018 17:10

His hearing is fine because he can hear me when we are talking. It's as if he's not aware of things around him

OP posts:
DeloresJaneUmbridge · 01/12/2018 17:13

He sounds like a classic kid with ADHD to me. Have a look at the ADHD Foundation page to see if you think it sounds similar.

Glad th school are taking this seriously

Sensory issues are also a reason why many children struggle. It might be worth asking for an assessment for Autism as well.

DarienGap · 01/12/2018 17:14

Has he always been like this?
ASD and ADHD may be possibilities.
Is there a SENCO at the school that you can discuss it with?

Sickoffamilydrama · 01/12/2018 17:20

My daughter (9) is rough with her brother (2) to the point she flipped him off the couch the other day, we have to constantly watch her with him. She also has melt downs regarding clothing, this summer she was diagnosed with autism.

I'm afraid a diagnosis isn't much help though as you are then just left to it as it's not considered a mental health condition or an illness (which in fairness it isn't) but it is helpful to start to understand why your child is exhibiting this behaviour.

myidentitymycrisis · 01/12/2018 17:21

could be asd, sensory processing disorder, adhd. ask to get him assessed. you could have a long wait.

Squeegle · 01/12/2018 17:23

Sounds like my DS who has adhd. I would speak to the SENCo and get the ED Psych in first of all. They can assess how he is at school and then if necessary he can be assessed for adhd or indeed anything else they suspect. I would advocate getting into the system ASAP as it takes ages. And you have to keep pushing

Squeegle · 01/12/2018 17:25

And it is worth it as they will be able to make the reasonable adjustments and the support he needs so that it isn’t always seen as him not behaving.

Toomanycats99 · 01/12/2018 17:28

My daughter has dyspraxia - sounds similar. She:

Cannot focus for long
Cannot manage more than one instruction at a time
Is quite immature
Is quite rough with friends
Won't eat certain foods - e.g. anything that makes her hands messy
Is quite sensitive with clothing - wears shoes a size too big because her toes cannot move

Mrseds · 01/12/2018 18:14

Thank you all, I have had my suspicions that it may be ADD as he's not hyperactive. It's only been the last 6 months I've suspected as I've always just though he's the youngest in the class. But he doesn't seem to be mature like kids his age and interrupts when I'm talking, again it seems like he's only aware of himself, like today shopping he's always in someone's way.
And now I'm suspecting I could possibly have something also as I see a lot of me in him and have always thought there is something wrong with me x x

OP posts:
Pastaagain78 · 01/12/2018 18:16

Very similar to my DS who was ADHD.

Mrseds · 01/12/2018 18:16

We will have a report after Christmas if what the behaviour person has written and I've just signed for him to see a councillor to asses his emotions in different situations. I will be making an appointment with my gp to see how we go about a diagnosis x x

OP posts:
Allthewaves · 01/12/2018 18:21

Sounds adhd - primary inattentive.

Redskyandrainbows67 · 01/12/2018 22:14

Just get his hearing checked first - an easy thing to do and rule out.

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