To think he could still watch the film?

[IHaveAPen]

ExH.
We have a good relationship. We talked the other day about boundaries and he said he would like to be involved in stuff we do at home especially around Xmas.

So tonight I planned a nice night with the kids for Dec 1st. Mince pies, hot chocolate, advent calender opening and Christmas Chronicals on Netflix.

Invited ExH as he said he doesn't want to miss out on these things

Reply "Watching the fight"

The fight that's broadcast at 5am tomorrow.

So he can't watch a film with his kids at 6pm tonight?

It's not that he won't be there. I couldn't give 2 shits. I'll have a lovely night with the kids.

Bit why say you want to be involved in these things then have better plans? He could easily do both. He could be gone by 8pm and still have plenty of time to get ratarsed watch the fight.

It's so frustrating!

Frustrating, but you tried. That's all you can do. The kids will see how it all goes and who makes the effort over time.

I wouldnt invite my ex for a film and hot chocolate. It's not a special occasion he needs to be there for. If he misses the kids Christmas play get upset, but things like this you just have to let go. It's part of the territory of being an ex. Sorry

He's your ex for a reason
I wouldn't be inviting him round for that sort of thing.

Joint stuff would be firsts (e.g. visit to santa) or school related.
Separating means you don't get comfortable evenings in my home.

We do have a very different dynamic to what 'exs' are supposed to be and it works for us.

I understand most people would think it's not normal to have your ex over for dinner etc... but he's my kids dad and we are good friends so that's not the issue.

It's just annoying he said over Christmas he would like to not miss out on things then the first opportunity he bails for a better offer (That's not even clashing with tjis but takes place hours later)

I just don't understand the logic

It's really not Christmas yet though.

Given that he expressly said he wanted to be involved then you're not being unreasonable. However he's sort of made his priorities clear here.

By the way, my husband had a similar relationship with his ex for the first few years after having their daughter and it's always worked well for us, a s he's never had to miss out.

Hmm. On one hand, I think he maybe meant the big stuff. Surely you will do loads of preChristmas stuff.
But then I think actually maybe he just wants to do the stuff that he thinks or others will deem make him a good dad. I know some parents like that, only want to do the 'big' things they can tell others about, not the little day to day stuff.

He will probably regret watching Tyson Fury's defeat and be miserable and tired on Monday morning at work.

Christmas Chronicles is great, if that helps.

I think your ex will be needing to “prepare” for the fight. That is, drink a crate of lager beforehand. I’d leave him to it.

It's just annoying he said over Christmas he would like to not miss out on things then the first opportunity he bails for a better offer 💪

You're not being unreasonable; but it sounds like what he meant is that he wants you to go out of your way to invite him to everything so he can choose whether or not he has something more appealing to do; on a case by case basis.

If you're keen to keep your friendlier relationship, I'd be asking what exactly he wants to do together with the kids and not inviting him to anything else. If he was really interested in being involved in everything; he'd have watched the film with them or at least given a better excuse than a fight that's hours away... unless it's possible that he was on a date and didn't want to risk damaging things by telling you?

At least you tried OP. He probably thinks it's not a big deal as it's only the 1st of December, maybe?

Have a nice night anyway.