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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my boss taking the p?

68 replies

TakingthePee · 01/12/2018 09:45

I'm a nanny/housekeeper to 2 gorgeous children, plus do all housekeeping work and look after their vast array of animals. I'm having time off over Christmas and they're away as well. They've assumed, without really asking, that I'll come in to look after the animals that are staying home during this time. They won't pay me. I'm finding it hard to say no. Reason being, my other half lives literally next door to them and so I'll be there anyway, it's very little inconvenience and it'll take 10 minutes once a day. Would you do it?

OP posts:
GreatWesternValkyrie · 01/12/2018 10:24

Just ask them what plans they’ve made for pet care whilst you’re all off/away over Christmas. They’ve not explicitly discussed it with you so you don’t know what they’ve “assumed” - then, you can put them right if need be. If they ask and you decide to do it, then you’ll need to mention money - i assume if you help them with babysitting for an evening, outside of your work hours, you don’t do that for free? This is no different.

Serialweightwatcher · 01/12/2018 10:26

How long have you worked for them for? If they are decent, presumably they will give you extra for doing this surely

codswallopandbalderdash · 01/12/2018 10:31

I wouldn't do it unless you are being paid. It sets a precedent otherwise.

I would be really upfront and say - 'are you expecting me to look after your animals while you are away?' If they say yes, you then have 2 choices - agree to do it but say you expect to be paid for your time as you are technically on annual leave or say it would't be fair to the animals as you can't commit to going in every day.

Just make sure you deal with it on your own terms

bridgetreilly · 01/12/2018 10:32

You definitely need to say something. "Can you let me know when you've made arrangements for the animals to be looked after so I can make sure I let them know what needs doing and where I keep everything?"

AuntyJackiesBrothersSistersBoy · 01/12/2018 10:34

Umm, do you not get holidays? Paid holidays? This is wrong.

bridgetreilly · 01/12/2018 10:36

And then, as pps have said, you need to have worked out what you want: either not to do it at all, or to do it but be paid for it. And then say so. But you don't have any obligation to do it. They are not your animals and you are on annual leave. So it is their responsibility and if I were you, I'd want to make that point VERY clearly. Because even if you didn't mind doing it this time, that might not always be the case.

AllTakenSoRubbishUsername · 01/12/2018 10:37

It's more than just feeding them, though - of course it probably will be just that, but if any of the animals get ill, or escape, then it turns into a big job, and you're having a well earned holiday from the responsibility of others, so why not just say that you're considering taking off for a few days 'during your time off' (good to reiterate that!) and best not to rely on you. Who's to say you wouldn't be taking your animals with you or getting a relative to look after them??

HollowTalk · 01/12/2018 10:39

So if you and your partner went away on holiday, would your boss go round to his house and feed his animals?

FinallyFree123456789 · 01/12/2018 10:39

Hi op - I'm also a nanny.

If you're having time off over Christmas - are you using your holiday allowance as they're away as well or just taking unpaid leave as that's what you've agreed with them?
^ this is to protect you really and you're rights.
Either way - I wouldn't do it.
Holiday is holiday - be it paid or unpaid - the animals are not your responsibility.
Regardless if you have animals - you may have arranged for friends to look after yours whilst you are away.

Timmytoo · 01/12/2018 10:41

I addicted to lifetime thriller movies on YouTube, find them strangely comforting

Binglebong · 01/12/2018 10:43

Don't forget there will be cleaning out (unless maybe fish!).

TheBhagwan · 01/12/2018 10:46

Are they generally good to you? If so I would just do it. It’s really almost nothing to you. If you take a stand on this your employers are likely to stop giving you any extra “perks” and it will erode the goodwill you have built up. If they never give you any extra perks and you don’t like them much anyway then you should stand up for yourself on this but also start looking for a new job where you will be happier.

Missingstreetlife · 01/12/2018 10:53

The answer to your ? Is yes. Cfs

Returnofthesmileybar · 01/12/2018 11:00

It depends, if you go on holidays/away for the night will they feed your animals?

colditz · 01/12/2018 11:00

It's not "almost nothing to her". It ties her to the house she works in even though she's not being paid.

grumiosmum · 01/12/2018 11:01

Do you like your job and the family you are working for?

Do you like the animals?

Do they normally pay you a Christmas bonus or are you anticipating one?

If the answer to those questions is yes, I'd be happy to this as a favour to my employers, just as I would if it was a neighbour, friend or family, as it doesn't seem to be a huge imposition.

However, if you don't feel that way, then ask them directly. "Who will be looking after the animals when you are away?"

That should prompt a conversation and you can then ask to be paid appropriately, if you aren't happy to do it as a favour for them.

They may be planning to give you a really nice Xmas present though as acknowledgement of how you go the extra mile.

sonsmum · 01/12/2018 11:14

I suggest you think of how much you value the family/animals/like the job. To make an issue of this is unlikely to go down well.
As you ill be next door, I'd be thinking it is perfectly acceptable for you to feed the animals, providing we're not talking of multiple animals on a farm type property?!
When the family return, they may well give you a nice present/thankyou etc. If they don't, then their values are a little off.
If you say no because you are away physically, be prepared ot lie about plans and worry about who may then feed the animals and who may see you. Is it worth the stress hiding?
If you ask to be paid, i think this looks a little petty and i think your employer will see that you think of them s an employer rather than a family that you are part of and things are likely to be a bit frosty.
Essentially do you like this job? If you do, suck it up and just do it for the animals. If you are not bothered and don't really value the job, make some waves over being put upon over Christmas.
The intregral and right thing to do here is for you to be asked if you minded feeding the animals over Christmas, for you to do it and for them to show their appreciation.

rumidumi · 01/12/2018 11:15

Dontalltalkatonce what a horrible way to talk about someone you don't know. Reported.

burnoutbabe · 01/12/2018 11:19

I'd assume you are being asked in the same way one asks a neighbour to look after pets when away a few days.
So it would be fine if it's just one cat that needs food and water once a day. But if it's lots of animals that need cleaning out they need to employ someone to do that.

colditz · 01/12/2018 11:20

rumidumi, swearing is allowed, you don't report people for using swear words, we are not 7.

ScottyDog7 · 01/12/2018 11:22

I'm struggling to think of a vast array of animals that will only take 10 minutes a day to care for. Are they reptiles or fish or something?
Surely any mammal will need interaction, cleaning out etc. Even fish and reptiles will need cleaning out if they are gone over a week or so.

ScottyDog7 · 01/12/2018 11:23

But I'd be tempted to do it, maybe drop into the conversation about how you will look after theirs while they are away if they return the favour when you and DP are away.

rumidumi · 01/12/2018 11:25

I don't mind swearing. I swear in day to day life. It's that particular word. But thanks for patronising me.

CottonTailRabbit · 01/12/2018 11:29

Be up front about it, in a nice way.

"I might be wrong but I got the impression you thought I might be available to look after the animals when I am on holiday. Unfortunately that won't be possible because DP and I are considering some overnight trips, long days out and such like. We can't commit to being around to care for the animals. Thought I'd better make sure you knew so you can make arrangements with someone else."

Cheerbear23 · 01/12/2018 11:30

No, I wouldn't do it, in fact, I would stop working for these cunts altogether

Whaaat? Honestly? What if the OP likes this job except for this one issue?

It depends on what type of animals and how much effort is involved. Also like others have said you can ask they reciprocate.