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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think more and more people are weird- ballet fuss

26 replies

BerriTerri · 01/12/2018 08:54

Sometimes I feel I live in a parallel universe, so would you have handled this differently? Asking as now a week later the woman concerned is giving me looks across the waiting room...

Last week’s dance class was ‘watching week’, two rows of chairs in the studio to watch the class.

Bit of a scrum going in, so I held back. Most the second row was still free, the woman in front of me did that annoying thing sitting one seat from the end of the back row so I couldn’t pass. I said ‘excuse me softly’, so as not to talk over the teacher, but she was transfixing with a smile on watching her daughter. I tried again leaning forward and a little louder asking if the seat nearest was free and gestured, no response. I sat down and shrugged in the end seat. The row filled up quickly from the other end which was nearer the door.

Her partner then strode in and boomed ‘I asked you to save me a seat!’, she glared and said ‘I did, this one!’ and pointed at me. They looked at me impatiently then the woman in front turned round and said she’d heard him say it in the queue. I quietly evenly replied ‘well, I also expected a seat, may I have yours?’. I then just tried to watch quietly, rather than disturb the class.

I stayed for a bit in the seat but he stood so close almost in front of me I ended up rolling my eyes and moving so I could actually see, plus I didn’t really want his arse right next to my face. He looked rather smug and I stood for the remaining half hour (not the worst thing as I saw more tbh and I’m comfortable with standing from work, I moved on quickly and forgot after the initial annoyance).

Now she’s glaring at me pointedly the following week and I’m pissed off, definitely scowling.

On what planet was she???

(Tbf there were enough seats for 2 for every child, which was stated as a limit which many ignored. I don’t blame the class on not having enough...)

OP posts:
Blanchedupetitpois · 01/12/2018 08:59

What an entitle cow! Some people have no clue and no manners.

Doyoumind · 01/12/2018 09:00

She's a stupid cow, as are many people. I am also astonished by what some people think is acceptable and justified behaviour but try to remind myself there are lots of nice people out there too.

mimibunz · 01/12/2018 09:03

Stare right back at her until she looks away.

BorisAndDoris · 01/12/2018 09:04

The next time she glares at you, laugh. It'll annoy her more that you find her behaviour funny rather than intimidating.

Stupid, childish family. I feel for their child.

shearwater · 01/12/2018 09:04

I think I'd have climbed past her to the other seats and kicked her leg as I went past "Oh sorry!"

BerriTerri · 01/12/2018 09:04

I was leaning towards a childish scratch my nose with my middle finger thing... but glaring is probably wiser...

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 01/12/2018 09:06

Any amateur knows you put your bag or coat on the seat to save it
She’s no chance at the school Nativity, they would eat her alive for that sort of behaviour

MsJaneAusten · 01/12/2018 09:07

Oh definitely do the nose scratch! It can be the first step in you not being so polite: they sound awful, but you definitely should have climbed over her for the other seats.

BerriTerri · 01/12/2018 09:09

Well obvs if it happens again I’d climb past with a wet umbrella (on a summer day..)

OP posts:
CorporeSarnie · 01/12/2018 09:11

Rise above, avoid direct eye contact, smile and generally act as though 'twas nothing and you have no recollection. Then you can enjoy her seething. But that isn't saving a seat and I'd have said so. Hate these things, see also the school Xmas play, where you need to be in the queue an hour in advance to stand a chance of seeing your child properly, we rarely manage to get time to have more than one of us there, so the family with two nanas, uncle wotsit etc taking up the front row pisses me off.

howabout · 01/12/2018 09:13

If this is standard behaviour of other parents I would be looking at how much contact their DC have with mine in dance classes. I have moved my DC away from activities due to these sorts of incidents. In small classes the overall culture of the school and whether they are managing the behaviour and expectations of the parents as much as the DC has an effect. Think in terms of sharp elbows when parts are being given out, competition prizes, extra favours in class etc, etc,etc.

BerriTerri · 01/12/2018 09:25

The other parents wouldn’t know but my son has his fees through a scheme they have, no concerns about the school itself

OP posts:
Holstenlane · 01/12/2018 09:34

Why didn't you reply, at the time, with "I asked you twice if this seat was taken but you ignored me so I sat down". And when he had his arse in your face, why didn't you say, loudly. "I don't want to be forced to stare at your backside so move over".

Cheeky fuckers only get away with it because everyone else just meekly walks off and let's them.

Horsewithnomane · 01/12/2018 09:34

It is bullying.

Unable to even look at you on her own the woman was all in your face when there was two of them.

I hate bullies.

JasmineMcCarth · 01/12/2018 09:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Jezzifishie · 01/12/2018 09:40

Ah yes, howabout - I know exactly what you mean. My DD stopped ballet because of the behaviour of the teacher and other parents. She now does rugby, everyone's much happier!

Houseonahill · 01/12/2018 09:40

Smile really nicely and wave with abbig cheery hello every time you see her it will boil her piss and be hilarious.

Mumshappy · 01/12/2018 09:40

Ballet mums lol there are the normal ones and this type. Shes a silly cow who is rubbish at saving seats. Ignore her if she stares at you again stare back. If necessary just say ' did you want to say something I feel you do' old school bully tactics

AnoukSpirit · 01/12/2018 09:40

Smiling and laughing will piss her off more than trying to match her glare.

Being on the receiving end of shit like this is why I would have been the person who keeps saying "excuse me" louder until I was listened to, even if it meant people raised their eyebrows at me for not conforming to the bullshit cultural expectation that we shouldn't make a fuss and should instead be a doormat.

I no longer care if people glare at me when they're the ones behaving like dickheads.

LizzieSiddal · 01/12/2018 09:47

What an entitle cow! Some people have no clue and no manners.

Yes but her H is worse! Imagine standing with your groin in a woman’s face, just so they will move! No decent human being would do that.

To be honest I’d be a bit worried about this woman, you don’t know what her H is like at home.

Trethew · 01/12/2018 09:58

I remember a similar situation in a restaurant where people were standing waiting for tables. a lady at the next table to me said “Your trousers smell disgusting. Could you move away”. Made my evening!

iseecabbages · 01/12/2018 10:00

Don’t react in passive aggressive manner Go up to her and ask her why she is looking at you, does she have a problem ? Not Phil Mitchell style, just calmly ask the question.
Passive aggressive people don’t like being called out on their behaviour.

BerriTerri · 01/12/2018 10:50

I’m intrigued why a post was deleted.

I ended up just reading my book and getting engrossed a bit. I presume she gave up

OP posts:
BerriTerri · 01/12/2018 10:51

I like the cheery ‘hello’ idea, I think I may do this every week like we know each other

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 01/12/2018 12:19

corpore volunteer for the PTA tea stall and you sail past the Q and get into the Hall first. Then you put your coat on a seat on the front row, go serve drinks ( and gaining brownie points) before taking up your prime position just as the dc are brought in
Works every time

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