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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Worried first time mom

12 replies

Jagkk88 · 01/12/2018 04:27

Hey guys it’s my first time on here. I’m a first time mom and every little thing worries me about my DS. Lately I’m worried that when I pick him up sometimes his head rolls back or forward and I’m petrified he might get shaken baby syndrome and get brain damage. I sound so daft I know, his 7 weeks old and tends to hold his own head up when I pick him up. But also he starts to viciously shake his head side to side when I’m holding him after his feed. I know his trying to find his comfortable place to sleep but it’s scarying me that his going to get brain damage for some reason. Anyone got any feedback on this. Thanks

OP posts:

Jackshouse · 01/12/2018 04:42

You need to still be supporting his head when you pick him up if it is rolling back.

HappyInL0nd0n · 01/12/2018 04:49

Hey there. Firstly, congratulations! It's natural to worry a lot with a newborn. Are you sure he's finished his feed? Usually that vigorous head-bobbing is a hunger cue. And yes, the head still needs a lot of support and this stage, even if they're strong enough to lurch about a bit.

Original poster

Jagkk88 · 01/12/2018 05:19

Yeh he has because he refuses the bottle if I try to give him more. I do support his head but you know sometimes as you pick them up and I put my hand on his neck it goes back abit

OP posts:

Nonomore2 · 01/12/2018 05:41

Hi. Congratulations!
My little one shakes his head very vigorously when he’s in the cot lying down and trying to sleep. He now has no hair at the back of his head from where he has rubbed it all off!
Of course you have to support their heads but it sounds as if you know that. When you pick them up also make sure yoi don’t let their heads drop back, this video is worth a quick watch:
m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ns_MFqoIdsU

But all babies heads move backwards and forwards. Sometimes they drop forwards and you’re hand isn’t there to stop that. It sounds to me like you are doing all the right things but you Are just worrying. I’ve never heard of a baby getting brain damage from having their head unsupported.
And I totally understand your worry! It’s my first baby too and I use the sling a lot and I’m always thinking about what might happen if I fall over. I think i’ll Crush his skull and he’ll end up with a brain injury or dead etc etc
I recognise they are ‘ intrusive thoughts.’ It’s hard as I’m just trying to cope with the new feeling of overwhelming love I have for him and with that comes this fear that something will happen to him.
I try and recognise that it’s just an anxious thought. I don’t beat myself up for having them. I try and acknowledge it and then push forward and think about something else. I did at one point start spending time at night googling stuff to do with slings and accidents and I realised that was bad,.. so o told myself I either had to stop or go and speak to the GP about it. I managed to stop it. And I never let it stop me using a sling.

I’m sorry if that’s not helpful. I suppose I just want you to know that I understand. I don’t know if my situation relates to yours. But do be kind to yourself.

ViragoKnows · 01/12/2018 05:44

It could be that a bit of clinical anxiety or PND is creeping in. Do you think that might be the case?

It’s really hard to break a baby. The stories we hear of dropped babies who were fine would make your eyes water. If you’re being careful, small movements won’t hurt him and they certainly won’t cause shaken baby syndrome.

LegoPiecesEverywhere · 01/12/2018 06:36

Can you tell your health visitor what you told us? She will be able to observe your baby to see if anything is wrong.

Original poster

Jagkk88 · 01/12/2018 07:07

Thanks guys for the advice. His had his check ups and the heath visitor is happy with him. His hitting his developments well. I'm just panicking over very little thing.

OP posts:

Redskyandrainbows67 · 01/12/2018 07:11

It sounds like you might have post natal anxiety

Did you have a bad birth?

Feefeetrixabelle · 01/12/2018 07:12

What you describe is very normal in a baby of that age. He’s not going to get shaken head syndrome unless he is vigorously shaken. Which isn’t the case. As long as your supporting his head as much as possible he will be fine. Your health visitor is happy. Just enjoy the wee mite.

I also read somewhere that we all have more ability than we think. Ie apparently our teeth are strong enough to bite a finger off. But our brain is hardwired to prevent that happening. And it will be the same with shaking head. He won’t shake his head until he gives himself brain damage because he has the built in need to protect himself.

Original poster

Jagkk88 · 01/12/2018 07:18

Yeh I did have a scary birth. Il look into post natal anxiety. Thank you everyone for the advice really appreciate it

OP posts:

smiler0206 · 01/12/2018 08:51

Congratulations hun and sounds like your motherly instincts are kicking in nicely. Part of being a mum is seeing danger before it happens then preventing it. My 2 DDs are 8 and 4 now and I still have horrible visions sometimes, like them running out in the road and getting run over, so I will hold there hand extra tight near the road. The joys hey. Sounds like you're doing a great job. A mother worrying about her child is a good sign that you are doing a good job

scorpiomummy · 01/12/2018 16:39

Thank you guys feeling much better. I just want to say nonomore2 what you have said has made me feel 100 times better thank you for that advice. It's good to know I'm not going completely crazy.

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