To be worried about traveling alone?

[NameChangeToAvoidBeingFound]

I'm going to London for a couple of days next month, going on the Sat possibly seeing a friend that evening, seeing him again the Sunday, Monday meeting another and a friend and her friends boyfriend she wants me to meet the next and then possibly meeting another the next day. All good and I'm happy with the meeting arrangements but I'm a northerner and have never visited the city alone or needed to navigate more than Oxford Street.

I'm worried because I'm either gonna have to book a hotel somewhere between all of these places or AirBnB (which I've never used before) and then navigate London's public transport, never having done this before and get to and from where I'm staying late at night alone in an unfamiliar city.

AIBU to be scared about wandering an unfamiliar and busy city alone at night?

I would imagine or expect your friends to guide you accordingly. Have a great time

Reading the title i thought you were going to africa for 6 months

But london?

You’ll be fine. My 18 year old travelled in October to London from Australia, all by herself. She came back alive and unharmed, and wants to go again. 😁

You will be fine I imagine

Whereabouts do you need to get to and from?

Uber is not too expensive often and worth using for ease if you can

Hostels/airbnb should be fine- some travelodges and premier inns aren't too expensive if you book in advance

Nightbuses and tubes tend to be well lit

Have google maps at the ready

London can be a bit deceiving - sometimes it's faster to walk than tube or bus if only a stop or two away but other times just because it's London doesn't mean it's anywhere near another part - some places take up to 2 hours to travel from/to from each other

Most Londoners are friendly enough but we don't tend to say hello to those we don't know or look each other straight on in public transport for some unknown reason. We also don't greet people we don't know with a friendly hello/good morning/afternoon when walking past each other if we don't know them

Enjoy the city!

Statistically the risk of terror attacks etc are really very low and unless you are a gang member you are also fairly safe in most areas

Oh and if you expect to use public transport a lot - you need either an oyster with credit on or a contactless card.

Tap in and remember to tap out even if gates are open on tubes and trains

Tap on only on buses and trams

No bus will let you pay with cash

I'm a northerner, travelled to London for the first time when I was 22 I think and was going for interviews. No problems whatsoever using transport at any time of day.

I have never used Airbnb either, don't fancy it, I would book a hotel instead.

Seriously. Look at a few web sites and plan your journey. It's London, not Beirut.

You’ll be fine. Perhaps study a map of the tube to familiarise yourself with it first. You can also google the ways to get from point a to point b so you don’t even have to work it out.

@araiwa I'm autistic and often struggle to get around places I'm familiar with. It's the getting from new place to new place to meet different people that I'm finding daunting. I tend to do better when I wing it. Then add in that I'm meeting a friend I've not seen in nearly six months and while I'm looking forwards to it I'm also quite nervous as relationships can change when you don't see someone for awhile.

@Monty27, yeah and I'm sure they will to an extent but it's mainly flying visits with people I've not seen in awhile so I'm not sure how busy people are going to be.

@finn1020, I think I'd be more confident going to Australia tbh, at least me not being able to navigate there will make sense .

@ofcourseibloodyncd I'll be going out for a drink/meal with one friend and then spending the next day with them around the Kings Cross area. Not sure about where I'm going to be Monday-Tuesday, still need to find that out. I'm expecting I'll probably pay more for accommodation as I'm going from the 7th Dec and haven't pre-booked anywhere, it was a very spur of the moment decision made when it hit just how much I was missing my friend. I adore google maps, makes life so much easier I have heard that it's often easier to walk some places. I think depending on where I'm going with the different friends may mean I need to change where I'm staying part way through as I don't really want to travel too long alone at night. I'm not concerned about crime or attacks, I live in a high crime area and know the risks of minimal most places and what to look out for and how to keep yourself safe so that's not an issue. The not talking to people you don't know is very different to what I am used to. I didn't know that about buses and trains but I have a contactless card so that should be fine.

@Alfie190, that's good to hear, I think I'm gonna go with hotels as well because at least that way I'd feel more secure. Especially as I'm traveling alone.

I think it all comes down to the fact that it's new and not something I have done before and I'm not great in the build up to new, but usually have a great time with no issues once I get going.

Just make sure you have a contact less card and do a bit of planning and familiarise yourself with travel routes. You'll be fine.

@triwarrior, I know it's only London and every Londoner and tourists manage everyday. But I find navigating places, particularly places I've not been before daunting. I am planning my journeys but they're still going to worry me until I actually do them and walking around a city alone at night is something I don't think I'll ever be able to do without some amount of fear. I know London is a busy place and it's only been the last year that I've even been able to get the train independently so this is a massive step for me considering.

@Mummyoflittledragon, Yeah I think I'm going to have to do that. It'll make it easier if I know at least one way to get from A to B so I don't panic if I get overwhelmed by the crowds.

TFL is your friend for planning journeys . I am in London alone at the moment although sleeping on a ( busy ) friend’s floor .
I like to use buses whenever I can so I can gawp.
Today my route took me over the river past the London Eye,Houses of Parliament, along the embankment , along Horse Guards , Trafalgar Square, Piccadilly, Regent Street up to Oxford Circus .
Proper tourist stuff.
You need a contactless card and tap it on the screen when you get on a bus .( no need to tap off )

Tubes and trains you need to tap in before your journey AND tap out at the end .

I have a prepaid bPay bracelet that means I don’t need to get my card out each time but don’t know how long they take to get . I have seen people with their card on an extendable cord .

I talk to people a lot on buses and find them unfailingly kind and helpful.
Travel is capped for zones 1,2 and 3 at; £8 per day if you pay by contactless or £25.50 for a week. A single London bus fare costs £1.50.
You can make unlimited bus or tram journeys for free within one hour of touching in for your first bus or tram journey (if using pay as you go).

I also walk a lot and use overland trains when possible .

Please feel free to ask me anything . I can’t help with hotels as a sofa surfer but as a London lover would be pleased to give you some ideas to enjoy this city .
Ps I live on a quiet sparsely populated island and cope well .
Enjoy .

Ok there's a massive drip feed. OP stated that "I'm a Northerner..." and a follow up response stated that "I'm autistic..." I'm from Lancashire and there's a pretty big f'ing difference between the two...

@ilovesooty I'm quite excited by what I'll be doing once I'm there tbh. I can't wait to see my friend because I'm missing him like crazy and it'll be nice to meet the friends he has made there. And it'll be nice to meet my friend whos visiting different friends because she thinks I'll like her friends, plus while we're there and our other friends are busy during the day the plan is to do lots of touristy things together and I think on Monday night we're going Ice Skating (something neither I nor her can do) and she wants me to try and convince my friend to join us (which could be interesting as he can skate a bit but he may need some convincing) if he's free.

Tbh I think they should come to see you near where your staying so they can accommodate your unfamiliarity with London.
Don't know if money is an issue but to hotel hop especially at this time of year will cost a fortune. They could also get you an Uber if you've gone out of your way to see them
maternal me

In rush hours and even out of them - our transport can be
Horrifyingly overcrowded

I thought I'd mention as you've said you have autism

Without autism, now I don't regularly commute in the city I find it overwhelming sometimes just how busy it can be

Take headphones! Plan that you may not have appropriate personal space and have a way to zone it out

@Trumpton Awesome advice I've wrote that all down as need to know .

@triwarrior, I am a northerner, I live closer to Scotland than I do to London and I've been to central London less than a handful of times. I am also autistic but genuinely didn't think to include it in the original post because on a day to day basis it doesn't affect me as I know where I am and what my routine is. It was only when reading the responses that it clicked in my head that 'ah maybe I'm so worried because it's a new place and I'm autistic and that makes new things difficult'. Normally autism is not an issue and I can get on with whatever I need to but, looking at what I have planned with multiple people in a large and busy city I can see why it might be an issue now, it doesn't run my life and isn't something I think about until this sort of thing happens tbh.

Oh and yes as PP mentioned - we tend not to ourselves. But if you do break the rules and decide to spark up a convo with someone on public transport- we are really quite nice people and chat away

We will also be very helpful if you are lost in the city and want to ask how to get somewhere

We don't actually bite... we just seem to have an unwritten code that we don't look friendly on public transport

And we will likely say hello or whatever back if you do the northern thing of greeting strangers you pass. We just might wonder why you did as it's not the norm

Ask your friends for advice on where to stay and directions for how to get to where you’re meeting them. Londoners love to give very precise instructions on routes, back-up routes, exactly which exit to take from which station, where to stand on the platform, which ticket machine to avoid, etc, etc...

@Monty27, my friend is, he knows I'm not great with getting around new places so he's coming to meet me and take me for a couple of drinks near where I'm staying and I know for a fact he'll walk me back to the hotel. On Sunday I'm going to watch him play a gig with his band so that can't be changed but if our mutual friend doesn't join us he'll either take me back to the hotel or arrange transport (uber or wait with me so I get the right bus back) or insist I stay with him if he can't get me back easily enough.

It's the next couple of days that might be more difficult because I'm not sure where I'm meeting my other friend or where they're staying yet, which is why it might be easier to hotel hop despite the price. If it makes me feel safer I'd rather do that. These friends wouldn't think to do more than a quick ask of 'your ok to get back by yourself right' but that's because they're not as familiar with autism and I think because I'm a couple of years older than me they just automatically see me as more capable regardless, which is nice tbh, most people hear autism and go to baby me. Whereas the friend I'm meeting has an older sister who is autistic and is very adept at reading me, so if I said yes I'm fine to go back on my own he'd see that I wasn't and say Ok but I'm going to walk/wait with you anyway.

@ofcourseibloodyncd I live out in the sticks in the north and public transport is often likened to sardines in a tin as it's infrequent and unreliable so while it's unpleasant, I'm rather used to it. A few times I have been on a metro (tube like transport) and it was so full there was nothing to hold onto and it was fine because you were so squashed there was no chance of falling anyway . I'll take a couple of pairs of earphones as backups just incase I lose them or they breaks as they're invaluable on commutes. I'm not the say hello to everyone type of northerner. I'm the grin and nod in hello type, it's quicker and doesn't invite conversation while not being rude.

@Dafspunk, I was worried about asking people about what to do/where to go as everyone in London seems to be so busy and I don't want to inconvenience or annoy anyone but hopefully from your post it won't be minded too much.

The other friends aren't Londoners either?
If so could you stay nearby to them?
And Londoners are lovely. If you do have to get about though do it after grumpy crushed hangry hour

You sound really excited. I hope you have a lovely time.

I quite like booking.com it includes hotels, hostels and I think airbnb so easy to find the cheapest and nearest place to stay to wherever you are

Don't forget if doing touristy things that you can get 2for1 offers if you travel with friends by rail. Only then is it usually cheaper to buy a paper ticket as you need it. But you can still buy one for just the last part of your journey and save money

And late at night there's an app I forget what it's called which someone might remember helpfully- where you can get cheap food to save it being thrown out from some places if you get hungry 😁 think £3 instead of £13 for a takeaway if you're passing!

@Monty27, no they're not Londoners. The guy I'm meeting is from the midlands and is in London till next July for a work placement and then coming back to the north for uni. He's been there around 4 months at this point and staying with relatives, he's just very capable when it comes to settling in new places,

The other friend whos also visiting another friend is from a different part of the midlands and I know her and him from Uni and she might be meeting us on the Sunday night. The friends she is meeting are friends from school but who've been in London a year each and one is dating a Londoner. They've all been and stayed in London far more than I have though, they can get from their home cities to London and back for around £15 return. I can get a single to London from my home city for £70 at the cheapest.

I tend to avoid travel during rush hour tbh, and when it can't be avoided I walk. It often takes the same amount of time as sitting or standing in uncomfortable traffic while being free and offers me the ability to pop into places to browse or buy coffee along the way if I get tired or cold.

@ilovesooty, thanks I can't wait to see my friend, I've been missing him like crazy, not that I'd ever tell him that by message though because he'd tease me forever and a day after and it'll be nice to meet his friends. He has mentioned introducing me to his Aunt and Uncle if I'm up for that which could be interesting. His family are all very southern and middle class/upper middle class and I am very northern and working class and my voice has a tendency to become more northen in response to southern accents unless I focus and then I unintentionally mimic the accent of the person I'm talking to, that and I'm as subtle as a brick.

@ofcourseibloodyncd I'll look into that. My friend who's heading to a different part of London to stay is very on the ball with offers and deals (her dad's an accountant) will be looking into that for us, which saves me time . I'll do some googling about that app as it sounds like something I'll need considering how long I'll be there I'll have to find food for at least three days.