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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fortnite

27 replies

Kirstabelle · 01/12/2018 01:11

I made my 10 year old delete Fortshite this evening...he was so devastated he used his teddy’s paw to push the ‘uninstall’ button..I’m sick to the back teeth of my own empty threats regarding raging behaviour and being late to the dinner table.....Why do I feel so bad now though??!...😫

OP posts:
Walkingdeadfangirl · 01/12/2018 01:23

Why didn't you just regulate how long and how often he played it. Bit harsh to go straight for the nuclear option.

Adversecamber22 · 01/12/2018 02:19

You admit to making empty threats, why do that? It confuses people.

We had issues with DS and gaming once. I said I would take his console away. I did and it was taken to his Fathers office. He begged for it back but I stuck to the time I said it would be absent. I actually game with my son sometimes, I really understood how much it would annoy him to be deprived of one of his hobbies.

If you threaten any kind of sanction or consequence etc you must ALWAYS go through with it. I watched my sister threaten sanctions constantly with her two sons but never follow them through and then she would go nuclear and react really strongly from sheer frustration. It made for an unhappy house. You have to accept your children will dislike you sometimes.

You can’t pause an online game but you can leave. Best bet is say dinner is at x time. If you are not off by x time I will come in and switch it off, then actually do that.

araiwa · 01/12/2018 03:38

You rightfully feel bad because you punished him for your failings

Monty27 · 01/12/2018 03:45

Don't ever make empty threats OP. I have lived to regret it.
Well done you keep it up. It's actually good parenting Blush

notsurewhatshappening · 01/12/2018 03:53

Good for you OP!

foxyloxy78 · 01/12/2018 10:13

Good job OP.

LovingLola · 01/12/2018 10:17

I think you have absolutely done the right thing. A 10 year old with raging behaviour because of a game is not a happy 10 year old. You are doing him a huge favour.

rach2713 · 01/12/2018 10:19

You done a good thing getting him to delete it. My son is 11 and over 3 weeks ago he smashed his TV because that game he was angry so punched the TV and cracked the screen. I told him he ain't getting a new TV until he pays for a new if that takes him 6 months it take him 6 months.

My parents have offered to give him a TV so many times until he pays for one but I have told them no as he won't learn if they let him borrow one..i feel guilty but at the end of they day he done it himself not me so he has to deal with it and he has been so much better not actually playing it..

Houseonahill · 01/12/2018 10:24

Isn't fortnite free? So it's not like it's gone forever if in a month or whatever you feel he can be trusted to have it back with strict rules about coming off it and changes to attitude etc he can have it back.

My mum did it to my brother with one of the GTAs when he was about 15 because it made him horrible, he got it back after a couple of months and was much much better on it and if his attitude slipped because of the game he got it taken again for a week.

AlphaJuno · 01/12/2018 10:26

I know how difficult it can be though to limit it. My ds would always have an excuse. I just want to say goodbye to my friends, just finishing this game etc. It's online so it's always there. My ds broke his tv by throwing his controller at it in a rage, he said he tripped and the controller flew out of his hand 🤔. So he's having a break from fortnite right now and it's actually been very nice 😊. He's even saying he might not go back to it and he's had enough of it.

Original poster
Kirstabelle · 01/12/2018 10:35

He is absolutely fine this morning! We've had s long talk about things and he's cool...I can hear him chatting to his mates online telling them he's deleted it, they don't believe him! He's saying he thinks the graphics are naff and it's for babies!!!! He's actually playing some of his many other games now! We'll see how things pan out! I wander how long it will take for him to ask me to reinstall it!! So for the moment he's embracing being a trendsetter! 👍

OP posts:
Mrsglitterfairy · 01/12/2018 10:39

We made my 10yr DS delete it a while back and he had to earn it back. He was devastated too but we were just so sick of his bad attitude when he had been playing it. We did everything that PPs mention, regulated how long he was on it for, took him off it when he started to act up but as soon as he went back on it the attitude and moods started again.
He was without it for about 4 weeks and finally earned it back.
Now he happily plays it but also plays other games etc and when he’s told to come off it he does, still moans a bit but he’s 10. He is such a nicer boy since taking it off him completely, stick with it and make him earn it back and you’ll all be much happier as a result.
It will be hard, but stick to it and it will be worth it

Branleuse · 01/12/2018 10:42

im so tempted to do the same thing

Original poster
Kirstabelle · 01/12/2018 10:49

Do it do it!!! Let's start a Fortnite Free Zone revolution!!! FFZ 💪😀

OP posts:
Oblomov18 · 01/12/2018 11:05

I think what you've done is too harsh. Completely OTT.
We don't have any angry behaviour, but we do have late to the table etc. We try to monitor the time they are on it. We can restrict time, or is worse,
Then we have a days ban.
We have had a week ban.
This all works ok.

Branleuse · 01/12/2018 11:33

I get angry behaviour, frantic not wanting to come off when told/asked

Im always trying to put restrictions on it, and its ok for a while, and then it all goes to pot again.
Im not actually big on banning stuff, but i do if i have to.
I generally favour talking about behaviour and getting them to think about the way its affecting them, as i dont want to create a forbidden fruit situation, and as an aspie kid, its social for him too. I just get frustrated when their special interest is in something like this. I am kind of expecting it to pass eventually anyway, as they all do, but it is frustrating in the meantime as this one has been quite a while now.
Im always threatening to ban the bloody thing, but then tbh, id ban youtube too and probably a load of other stuff

ForalltheSaints · 01/12/2018 11:39

I agree with the OP deleting the game. I do think that in future, not making empty threats would be the best thing to do. It may make the teenage years less frightful.

Original poster
Kirstabelle · 01/12/2018 11:39

I've done all the bans and limited time etc...we've had hundreds of conversations and discussions..I've been patient, calm, angry and upset and it's completely ridiculous to think a poxy game has this effect on the whole family!!! Personally Im delighted to have finally got rid of the bad vibes and negativity.. oh yeah!!! 💪👍

OP posts:
MimsyBorogroves · 01/12/2018 11:44

I don't mind it. DS plays it after school three times a week and on weekends. He gets to chat to his school friends through it. We aren't in a situation where he can go out and play after school - we don't get in until 5.30, then tea and then ready for bed - so I really don't see an issue with it.

He knows that if he doesn't turn it off when told he doesn't go on it the next time he wants to.

The only issue I have with it is the constant pushing of new items for money. I've let him spend a few pounds here and there so he understands that as soon as he buys the newest powerful item or whatever they'll release something even better, and he has the battle pass instead of pocket money once every few weeks.

Awrite · 01/12/2018 11:45

We have strict rules. Only ever one hour on any screen at a time.

No one is ever late to dinner or defiant.

Hours and hours of screen time, no matter the game is always going to have a negative impact on behaviour.

Imo the worst games are the football ones. I much prefer Fortnite.

Original poster
Kirstabelle · 01/12/2018 11:45

P.s my boy currently has music blaring, he's singing along and playing FIFA so far so good!

OP posts:
Monty27 · 03/12/2018 01:24

OP he's still talking to his friends online.
Get him off it altogether into he's done his chores homework and is ready for school etc.
Mine brow beat me so badly I would give in so I could get some peace and quiet.
Boy am I paying now Sad

Ka6scope · 03/12/2018 21:49

Dont feel guilty, you took something that was toxic for him. I hear children learned to steal and use credit cards to make the person they play as look different. and any game teaching this to kids should be out of there lives.

CallMeKieth · 04/12/2018 02:37

To uninstall does not mean that all his progress within the game is gone. He may be going through a phase at the moment from the hardships of the game (It is a casual and competitive game) many children will do irrational things in anger or spite. It may be good to check up on your son every so often and talk about the game and that exclusively for a bit. Sometimes talking it out is what we all need. If he says something like "They beat me cause they paid." or anything of the sort it would be best to remind him the game is free and the only thing they can buy is skins to look different and that he doesn't need to look different because his skills already set him apart. I hope this helps and best of luck.

Bixmox · 21/12/2018 17:00

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