To think I narrowly avoided something bad happening

[Mothership241]

Home alone with DS 10 months who's in bed, DP works nights so is out of the house until the morning. I've had the heating on all evening, turned it off an hour ago as I was too warm but couldn't cool down so i was sitting on my doorstep in my porch with a cup of tea before I retire to bed. We don't have a garden so it's not unusual for me to stand on my porch with a cuppa.

A shifty looking guy (clearly under the influence of either drink or drugs) clocks me as he's walking past and comes over, walks up our open drive and asks me if I smoke and have a lighter to which I reply no sorry.

He sits down on my recycling box and asks if I'm OK to which I reply yes thank you just getting some air. He remains sat there in silence looking at me strangely, then asks again if I'm OK. I say yes I'm fine I'm going in in a moment. He continues to stay sat there, not saying anything else for a couple of minutes.

My door was unlocked and motherly instinct set in so I didn't want to get up and walk in to where my DS was in case he pushed past me (paranoid perhaps) so I figured it's safer for me to stay where I am, cars were going past so I could be seen.

He then breaks his silence and remarks that he's really cold (he's out without a jacket, just in a t-shirt) and I tactically replied with yes I know, I just asked my husband to put the heating on in there as it's so chilly.

With that he shot up and darted off down the road power walking at speed, then when he reached the half way point of the block he started to jog.

AIBU to think he had sinister intentions? I'm a bit shaken up now. I'm also five months pregnant but he wouldn't have been able to see that as I was wearing loose clothing.

I reckon he was just hoping he could talk his way in for a bit of action tbh. He maybe thought that you chatting to him meant he was in with a chance. Not saying you shouldn’t have chatted to him as I can definitely see why you did!

When he heard you were married he lost interest. Drink people do daft things.

Sounds very dodgy and quite scary. Quick thinking on your part, you obviously scared him off.

Ilovealexa has nailed it.

sinister or not it was an odd thing for someone to do.

Quick thinking with your reply.

I think I'd just open an upstairs window next time you want to cool down.

I was very blunt when I spoke back to him, wasn't smiling or receptive, just very matter of fact. I wonder what he'd have said/done if I blanked him entirely.

I'd like to think he was just a chancer but when I've been approached by men in the past who have shown an interest they've never behaved like that. What shook me up was how he was looking at me and sat in silence. I'd have probably chalked it up to being a pissed up wally if he'd have been talking gibberish or whatever.

I'm not much to look at at the moment, towel on my head and big dressing gown over baggy PJs.

Yes I certainly won't be standing outside late at night from now on after that.

I've had polite hellos and smiles from cheerful passers by before but never anything as strange as that

I got the chills reading that. Yes I think you avoided something nasty there.

I had visions of him pushing past me if I stood up and opened my door, I tried to hide it but he was making me bloody anxious.

I don't understand how some people (like him) think it's ever OK to behave like that. I think he was on drugs rather than drink because of his while demeanour.

That could have turned into something very bad... glad you sorted it with your quick thinking.

Possibly looking a bed for the night or maybe to steal whatever he could for a fix. You were definitely smart to say what you did.

Bollocks to not standing outside! Don't let one arsehole scare you off.

Just keep on your toes. Did he actually come into your garden?

OP is it possible to put a gate on your driveway? It would create enough of a barrier for you to get into the house and lock the door if this guy or anyone else is to try anything again.

We don't have a front garden per say, we have a driveway but there's no wall or gate at the end of it so the drive is directly on the street. Passers by can walk across it so it's very out in the open. Our flat used to be a commercial building so the design/layout is a bit unusual. To explain it in its simplest form our driveway and porch sits directly on the street.

This wanker made a point of coming right up to my porch and sitting on my recycling box.

Landlord has planning permission for our driveway to have a wall put around it but avoids spending at all costs so never bothered to have one built, or have a gate and fence installed.

We could pay for one but we don't plan on staying here for much longer as we need a place with more space

Hard to know if he was a chancer, a drunk, or someone with ill intent. But you’re inside now and safe, try not to let it keep you awake. If you have an old pair of DH’s shoes that don’t matter if they go missing, I’d put them outside the front door.

I do hope you manage to get some rest tonight. Quick thinking but please report it in case he goes on to attack someone else and police can piece it together.

Yes do try and forget about him and get some sleep. But before you do, just do a double check on your windows and doors to make sure they’re secure. It will put your mind at rest.

@Iloveautumnleaves I once put his god awful crocs outside as a practical joke and he really got the hump about it incase somebody stole them, as If

I don't think he'd mind given tonight's antics though. That's a good idea.

Thanks ladies, I'm OK now and in bed munching gingerbread. Now the fright has worn off I'm more angry than anything, spooky bastard.

Oooh gingerbread...I want one —large bag— of the tiny little gingerbread men Costa puts on top of your latte! Last year one of the guys placed one upright instead of lying down, in seconds he was drowning with his arms up out of the cream...it was sad and funny 😢🤣