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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed with the nursery

13 replies

Leonie87 · 30/11/2018 23:53

My two girls are in nursery three days per week. It’s a fab nursery. They are happy there. Never had any issues at all.

However. Tonight DD1 (4) came home. She was quite happy, chatted about her day. When we went to her room to put her pjs on, I noticed her legs are terribly bruised. I know the odd shin bruise is pretty normal but she had a long, thin one down one shin and a bruised line across each knee. Definitely weren’t there this morning.

I asked her casually what had happened and she explained that two of the boys had toppled a wooden thing onto her legs while she was sitting putting her shoes on. Dunno what it was but feel it must have been pretty substantial to have bruised her legs like that. Anyway she said she cried and that one of the staff had come over but that’s all she said really and I don’t want to make a thing of it with her.

Nothing was mentioned to us when we picked the girls up.

I feel annoyed that her legs look sore. I feel like I want to say something but to be honest I can’t articulate it. Rationally I know accidents happen of course. I’m a bit annoyed they never said anything but maybe they didn’t know what had happened I dunno. I wonder if I should at least clarify what happened. Surely someone would have noticed a wooden structure toppling onto a child?!

Am I being ridiculous? Should I just leave it?

OP posts:

Witchend · 01/12/2018 00:02

When ds went on a trip (camp building) in year 3 he took his socks off when he came home and his foot was just one big bruise. Asked him how he got it, and he said when they were building the camps a big log fell on it. I asked him if anyone saw and he said his teacher had seen it happen and said that he was fine.

So I went to chat to the teacher. She said that she'd seen it happen, and went over, and took his shoes and socks off, to check his feet as he had said it landed on it. He said it didn't really hurt, and she said the first aider at the place (and they were a trained paramedic because I know the place) checked and he was happy to continue. So they'd concluded that maybe it hadn't hit as hard as it looked from across the area.

When I asked ds he said that it did hurt, but his foot was cold and he was missing out on building the camp which was fun so he'd said it didn't hurt.

But there was no bruising at the time (ds confirmed this).

It obviously wasn't that big a thing for my ds as otherwise he would have told me when he got in.

coffeekittens · 01/12/2018 00:02

You’re not being ridiculous, you’re trusting people with the most precious people in your life and it’s their job to nurture and keep them safe.

Nursery staff can’t keep an eye on them constantly at that age unfortunately due to staff ratios, however if staff did notice it then of course they should have mentioned it to you and wrote out an accident form even if there wasn’t a mark as a precaution.

I would ask the room leader or her key worker the next time you’re in if there was an accident as your DD has come out in these bruises and mentioned what your DD had said to you.

At that age children do come out in all sorts of random unexplainable bruises all of the time, I remember thinking that DD(5) had developed some sort of blood disorder at one point, especially when she went through a phase of riding her bike everywhere 😂

cochineal7 · 01/12/2018 00:10

The bruise may have developed later. It is not always immediately visible.

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 01/12/2018 00:14

Ex nursery worker here. You are not being rediculous at all. I would definitely be asking about it on Monday I would also take a photo of the bruises. There should of been an accident form filled in for this which you should of been asked to sign. What if this ‘wooden structure’ had fallen on her head! This is not good enough I would be very unimpressed!

SunsetOnTheHorizon · 01/12/2018 00:17

I agree with pp. Speak to the staff, they need to know the incident caused significant bruising. Hope your dd is ok

princessdonna87 · 01/12/2018 00:33

I would mention it and see what they did (cold compress?) and if there was an accident form. Show them her bruises and just ask how it happened, they need to be more aware. xx

Iloveautumnleaves · 01/12/2018 00:47

It’s hard when you see your child with a cut or bruise etc I think it’s even more upsetting when it happens at nursery for lots of emotional reasons. However, it is ‘just a bruise’ and although you think it ‘looks sore’ she wasn’t saying it hurt. Kids get bruises and the ‘big wooden thing’ could have been a bench they were sitting on when putting on their shoes and it toppled over when the got up. I think ‘wooden structure’ is a little over stating the situation, if it had been that big it would have been strapped to the wall and would have done much more damage. I presume they’d stood it back up by the time the teacher saw what was going on.

I really would just let it go. In a few months she’ll be at school, they can’t be watching them every single minute at that age and the teacher checked she was ok, she might haven’t even explained why she was crying very clearly and if she seemed ok after the teacher comforted her then maybe there wasn’t anything the teacher could report really.

abacucat · 01/12/2018 00:58

It may be that the staff member saw her crying but didn't see the thing fall on top of her. And the wooden thing does not have to have been substantial. It does depend how it hits you as to whether it causes a large bruise - so I have had awful bruises from things with sharp corners. But go and talk to the nursery.
The one good thing is she wasn't complaining to you about it hurting, so it may not be as bad as it looks.

Original poster

Leonie87 · 01/12/2018 10:52

Thank you all. The perspective is helpful. I’m going to mention it but I’m not going to make a big thing of it. I’m just going to ask exactly what happened as they understand it.

OP posts:

BusyMum47 · 01/12/2018 11:43

I would definitely ask them about it on Monday! Everyone knows bruises don't appear immediately - the very least they should have done was inform you at pick up so that you'd know what any marks were when/If they appeared later on! It should have been recorded in an accident book, too - no matter how minor the staff thought it was at the time. Having said that, I don't see how it can have been minor to have bruises like that. I work in a Primary School & we have to record EVERYTHING & send written forms home with the kids. If it was something like that, we'd also make a point of speaking to the parents & assuring them that we'd taken care of their child & detailing what we'd done etc.

gloriawasright · 01/12/2018 11:47

Please do say something to the nursery .
The bruise may become worse and if the nursery didn't notice at the time they may do now,and you need to make sure it is noted there that the bruising didn't happen at home .
You need it documented. And sooner rather than later .

bestideaeva · 02/12/2018 14:54

"You need it documented. And sooner rather than later ."

To call ofsted? 101?

gloriawasright · 02/12/2018 15:59

No not to call ofsted .or 101.
Did I suggest that ?
If the bruising is that bad and the nursery sees it for the first time ,I do not know what they're procedure would be .but i would be wary of the finger being pointed at the origin of the bruising being someone in the home.
It is not unheard of that parents are accused of injuring their child .

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