To make a move on my DH?

[Elmoespanol]

DH and I have been through a very bad patch over the past few months. Things finally seem like they are getting better and we are about 60% back to normal.

We haven't had sex in about 5-6 weeks. Maybe partly to do with bad patch but also generally being busy with work and children, a period of illness, etc.

I've suddenly felt like today is the day to make my move. I'm currently waiting for DC to fall asleep and wondering if this is a good idea or not?

Im planning on having a shower and goibg dowbstairs to surprise him. However, if he's not into the idea, this could be a massive set back. Really unsure of what to do. Please help!

We quote from the Snapper "I suppose a shag is out of the question?" (the correct response for an affirmative is "I'll just go and brush my teeth so"). Good luck OP.

Just had to post this:

I had to look twice and then realis the thread underneath OPs said it was in DIY!

Well...he didn't say no

It was great but juat didnt feel right. More like he just wanted a quickie, there was no feeling to it. Maybe im just looking for things because we've had a really bad time of it lately. I hope that's not the case.

Sali Hughes has a good article on this:

www.the-pool.com/life/love-sex/2017/11/sali-hughes-on-sex-for-the-sake-of-the-relationship

Always do it with humour. That way if it doesn’t work you can have a laugh with him about it... isn’t my sex appeal working you beast of a man etc!

Then at least you will have broken that stalemate even if sex does not happen.

do you know what, OP, a quickie breaks the ice at least. Maybe next time will be better. good luck.

pallisers you're right. It feels like something has lifted, so that's something at least

It's great that you took this step, though. If you've been having a rough go lately it's only natural that it wasn't totally natural and amazing. Keep working at your relationship and try to keep up the intimacy.

aqua you're right - I'm so glad I took the plunge. I won't let it go so long again and will try and get things back on track now.

Strip off in the hallway OP and stand in the doorway and ask if he's coming to join you.

Ahh crosspost. I'd go and see if he wants a post sex/shower blowjob to ramp it up too? Give him eyecontact the whole time. But that might just be me 🤷🏼‍♀️ I know not every bloke can go again that quick.

It's really easy to just keep playing the same game.

Much more risky and scary to do something to completely shake it up.

Now that it has been shaken up, maybe do what you can to repair the gap that's developed - not that all of the responsibility is on you, but it'd be great if this led to something more than just a quickie and helped get you guys back on track. Bit of hand holding, bit of snuggles, something like that :)

'It was great but juat didnt feel right. More like he just wanted a quickie, there was no feeling to it. Maybe im just looking for things because we've had a really bad time of it lately. I hope that's not the case'

Oh I had this last night, I wanted a long languid erotic session and he just wanted to get it done and dusted. Tbf he did have to get up early for work today it does make you feel a bit but don't read too much into it, you'll get yours next time (after a few glasses of wine maybe!)

It's certainly a start! You've had some intimacy. Shame it wasnt quite what you were after, but its something to move forward with. I hope it does keep moving forward. It's very encouraging that you both wanted to.