Help.. am I wrong

[Mum2be123]

I have not long had a baby he is 12 days old. Throughout my pregnancy me and my baby’s dad were on and off.. he was controlling not letting me on my phone. Said I’m not going out. He was violent and on my due date he hit me on my face and made me bleed (never made me bleed before) he has took money out of my bank and when someone told him that I could need it for the baby he said he doesn’t care and took the money. He has cheated on me and throughout my pregnancy he has said stuff like he doesn’t want to be involved and he wants a DNA and alsorts of stuff like that. (Nobody knows this is how he was to me) Now I had our son and the first night he went to his nannas to catch up on sleep (he is 16 I’m 17) so I stayed at hospital with our son and I got discharged from the hospital that night. Still I have not slept and was overly tired.. my mum messaged him and said leave it tonight she’s just sleeping so the next day he didn’t want to come till 7pm so I told him to leave it and day 3 he came but my mum said he wasn’t allowed to stay (her house her rules) then I seen him messaging his mum about lawyers and solicitors discussing to take our son off me which has still scared me from this day because I feel so protective and I cannot go anywhere without my son and my baby dad and baby’s nanna was discussing to take him off me!! His mum was messaging me constantly since giving birth asking when I want to register the baby it’s like that was all she was focusing on.. was it because the baby’s dad would be on the birth certificate and then they could have him when they want?? Am I wrong for blocking them all from contacting me? Also through out my pregnancy none of them bought a thing for the baby not even his dad he spent all his money on weed and fortnite. I just want to know what other people would do in my situation thanks

may I just ask a question.not meaning to be thick I honestly don't know. but are you allowed not to be put the father on the BC is their rules or laws if he wants to be on there or is it always the mothers choice?sorry if this is common knowledge :S

Do not put this idiot on the birth certificate

aw lovee. Firstly congratulations! then everything said above. best wishes xxx

I suspect you may be getting additional midwife support as a vulnerable young mum.

Please speak to your midwife about this asap. Or if you have been transferred to your health visitor already, please call them. You do not need to wait for an appointment. Or if you need to, call your GP.

All of these people are here to help you and they will want to. You have done nothing wrong and do not deserve the way he has treated you.

Please get the support you need for you and your new baby.

Oh OP, what a lot you’ve been through

I second the posters telling you to involve the police. He must never lay a finger on him again. And he certainly can’t be trusted with your precious baby!

OP, whatever you do, do not put his name on the birth certificate. Just don’t. You’ll live to regret it. If I were you, I’d cut him out of the picture entirely and go it alone.

Bloody autocorrect. Lay a finger on you, I mean!

kate in the UK (I'm assuming OP is in the UK) it works the other way round - unless you are married to the father, the only way he can be on the birth certificate is if you both attend the registrar together (which is presumably why this vile boy's mother has been hassling OP).

If she doesn't want him on the birth certificate, all she has to do is go to the registrar on her own. He can then apply for parental responsibility, but this is a long-ish process, and will cost him money, and OP can contest it, and with a bit of luck that will take more organisational skills than a 16 year old domestic abuser is capable of.

Mum2be123 don't fall into the trap of thinking "any father is better than none" - this simply is not true. Better for a child only to have a mum than to have a dad who is abusive and violent.

kateandme - don't have to add father at all, free to leave the space blank as under no obligation to bring the father/name father etc. Different if married, seems to be more automatic of adding both parents and either parents can register the birth. Unmarried, mother registers birth and can choose to bring father (or not) to be named. If father in that situation wanted paternity legally acknowledged then would have to apply via the courts etc.