Does it? Is she being unreasonable saying this?
I think I know the answer and it’s that she is being totally unreasonable as she knows the clear difference between right and wrong.
We’ve been friends for over 10 years, children the same age. Over the past 10 years her health has massively deteriorated physically and mentally. On her worst days she is now in a wheelchair, on other days she can move around holding onto things but can’t leave the house. On very very rare days her body suddenly loosens and she can get into town. She has Carers full time and they sort out all the day to day stuff including shopping.
Over the past few years I’ve become aware that she shoplifts from time to time. Stuff like a handbag from a supermarket which goes in her trolley and looks to all intents and purposes like her own handbag. Perfume bottles which have been put out as testers so she gets a £70 perfume to small items like pens, lightbulbs etc. She says it’s her personality disorder which causes impulsive behaviour and that she gets a kick out of getting something for nothing,
Spoken with Carers who are aware it’s hapoening but say they have other clients with similar issues which do the same things.
Now I love my friend, she’s fought through the most appalling upbringing you can imagine with abuse in all its forms, she has attachment disorders and the borderline personality disorder as well as physical health issues. However I am beginning to feel I don’t want to know about the new items like perfume she has managed to pinch while in the chemist when the pharmacist’s back is turned 
I guess I am wondering if anyone has experience of this and sees it happening with others who have the same mental health issues. It’s also an issue for me as the latest thing (a handbag) was taken while I was with her. I didn’t know until we had got back to the house that a bag had been taken. When she was paying she asked me to go and get a shopping bag from the car which I did....by the time I got back she had paid for her shopping and was through the till and outside the door. She says this is so if they discovered her they wouldn’t associate me with the theft...l am not so sure.
It’s getting so I don’t want to go shopping ever with her. Mostly her Carers shop and it’s only rare occasions that she can do so herself. It seems to be on those occasions this is occurring.
Another friend who cares for her brother in law who has the same issues says he is the same. She walks him round Tesco in his wheelchair to get shopping and says he often has items he hasn’t paid for. He relies on her for care so she just gets on with it but she isn’t happy about it .