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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Going on holiday vacation without child

38 replies

MissRed2018 · 30/11/2018 04:50

Im a single parent of an autistic 3yr old boy and I recently decided to take a vacation without him over the upcoming holidays. I already know that my family is gonna guilt trip me for not being home to spend Christmas with my son but like I said I'm a single parent and it's really tough raising an autistic child and I feel I deserve a vacation by myself. Is it unreasonable to go on a vacation without him over Christmas and New year's? I understand I won't spend Christmas with him but honestly it's just one Christmas and he's 3 and I feel it's nothing special to him at this age, it's just another day to him. Should I keep my current plans and not worry about the family guilt trip or take my child on Vacation with me? Any input is appreciated

OP posts:

Jackshouse · 30/11/2018 07:49

How long are you going away for? You say Christmas and New Year so I am guessing over a week. My two and half year old would be desperate upset if I went away for a week, never mind longer.

Original poster

MissRed2018 · 30/11/2018 08:11

TheBigBangRocks Yes he has went on holiday trips with me before. Yes he has spent time with my mom before because she chooses to spend time with him just like any other grandparent would want. I do not put my parenting responsibilities on anyone else as you say "to go have fun" because my son is my top priority but I feel parents do deserve a break every once in awhile. I chose to go over Christmas and New year's because this is the only time I can go since my son has very few appts and no therapy due to the holidays.
Nanny0gg no he has no understanding what any holidays or birthdays are.

OP posts:

Original poster

MissRed2018 · 30/11/2018 08:14

Jackshouse yes it would be a little over a week but my son won't get upset. He adapts easily and would be with family he knows and trusts.

OP posts:

PoesyCherish · 30/11/2018 08:17

Go, have fun and nuts to what anyone else thinks. He will be with his Dad who is presumably a perfectly good parent. It's hardly passing on your responsibilities when it's to his Dad!

LauraPalmersBodybag · 30/11/2018 08:22

Yanbu. He’ll be well taken care of and you’re confident he’ll be happy. You deserve some happiness to - take a break while you can. I hope you have a lovely time.

Gazelda · 30/11/2018 08:23

My first instinct was to say no way. I can't imagine being away from my DC for more than a week, let alone over Christmas and NY.
But when I thought about what you've said, that it's an ideal time to do it as he won't have therapy appointment during that time, he has a good relationship,with his DF and your DM, well it seems like a healthy thing for you to do. He will benefit from having two (or more!) christmases and you will get a well earned rest. I say you should go for it and bugger what anyone says.

LostInShoebiz · 30/11/2018 08:30

Lots of separated parents split the holidays a week each so it’s not going to kill the boy to be away from his mother for a week.

While a child is with Parent 2 should Parent 1 be sitting there pining away? Hardly.

Go and enjoy your holiday and I’m sure your son will enjoy his with his dad and granny.

RayRayBidet · 30/11/2018 08:35

Go and enjoy a break OP, sounds like it will do you good.
It's important that you get some downtime, you can't look after others if you don't take care of yourself.
Hope you have a lovely time

Loyaultemelie · 30/11/2018 09:57

I don't see why you shouldn't. He is spending Christmas with his dad so why should family expect you to sit around alone and miserable because ds is away with his other parent. As for spending time with his gm I used to beg to stay over at Nannies house as a child or my dgm would ask my dm to have me at least one night most weekends and I absolutely loved it, went away at least one week holiday a year with my gps and often weekends here and there and I really treasure those memories as my dgm died quite young when I was only 17, so just because your son is autistic (my eldest has add, dyslexia and suspected asd) doesn't mean he can't enjoy family and you have to feel bad. Enjoy your holiday

IAmMumWho · 30/11/2018 09:59

Your entitled to some "me" time.
Child will be with their father so I say go for it. Don't let your family make you feel bad about it!

MollysMummy2010 · 30/11/2018 17:31

Are you from the US op? I don’t think Christmas is such a big deal in the US as in Europe?

Pursefirst · 30/11/2018 17:35

Go and enjoy OP.

It will do you the world of good. Your DS will have a great time with his DF and will come back to a hopefully rested and relaxed DM.

Original poster

MissRed2018 · 30/11/2018 19:57

Molly yes I'm from the us

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