to wish my baby had an off button?

[Terrense]

He's 5 weeks old. He's beautiful. I'm completely smitten. I would do anything for him. But...

... he has been attached to my boob for 3 hours. Solid. My nipples are bruised. Sore. I'm tired. DH is at work. I need to eat. He's still going...

Growth spurt?

AIBU to want to switch him off?

On a serious note. Anyone else find their baby would very, very occasionally feed for hours at a time? He's never done this before...

I would just carry baby on boob to kitchen to get a snack and drink and TV remote. Let baby cry for a minute while I did a wee and camp out on the sofa those days.

I feel for you OP, I’m in a similar position. My baby is 8 weeks old today. He has never settled on his own. The first few weeks were horrendous, I’ve never experienced such sleep deprivation. We tried a moses basket, crib and a chico next to me and neither work. I nearly ended up with PND, I got very resentful of him and would burst into tears regularly over nothing. In the end I just ignored all advice on not sleeping with your baby and he just comes to bed with us. I still only get between 2-3 hours at a time before he wakes wanting feeding (I’m also BF on demand), but in total I’ll usually get 5-6 hours sleep a day.

During the day I have him in a sling which also helps as I was feeling awfully trapped, which was also making me depressed. He’ll just scream if I put him down. Now I can deal with some crying but before it would stress me out and I’d literally have a meltdown myself. Now I have more freedom and can get out of the house to walk the dog (it’s easier to walk the dog with him in a sling as trying to navigate a pram around cars parked on pavements whilst holding onto a dog that hates other dogs is hard).

So my advice is to get a sling (I have a yoga bellies fabric wrap/sling I use for indoors and a Chico easyfit carrier for outside) and consider cosleeping if necessary. Try a dummy as well. Mine sometime takes one (Philips Avent Soothie), but usually just spits it out.

Agree with those saying sling. Dd yells going into it but falls asleep quickly and I can eat.

For shorter tasks making a cuppa, going to loo etc I just put her down and hope she doesn't scream too much!

@absofrigginlootly this isn't my thread, I wasn't looking for advice thank you. My baby cluster fed even with the dummy but he wasn't putting my weight on so My health visitor recommended the swap. If you knew you were gunna be rude, why say it?!

I wasn’t being rude I was just trying to point out that saying use a dummy for such a young baby isn’t good advice because it often leads to the situation you described where milk supply is affected. Babies cluster feed because they need to build milk supply as well as for the skin to skin comfort. For a lot of babies a dummy is not a good enough nipple substitute

It wasn’t aimed at you it was aimed at the OP....or anyone else reading this thread for advice.

There’s a lot of BF misconceptions out there, especially in the uk which is such a formula feeding centric society. A lot of knowledge and experience has been lost.

I also used to work in HV and have done lots of unicef BF training courses etc. I’m sorry if I offended you. But I saw that situation time and again where mums would panic about the constant BFing (which is completely normal and expected for the first 12 weeks) introduce a dummy or a bottle and then their milk supply dries up. They then wrongfully conclude they didn’t/can’t produce enough milk.

There are only a very small proportion of women who genuinely can’t produce enough milk (due to physically not having enough milk ducts or hormone problems etc)

Cluster feeding! I'm surprised so few people are mentioning it in this thread

Both of mine did this from late afternoon/ teatime every day.

I realised it was because my milk production levels took a big dip around then, and didn’t rise again until midnight-ish (when prolactin levels are known to rise).

I started expressing after the morning feed and giving the expressed around 6pm and at the same time or just after I would do another express. Then the same again at 10pm. Then I’d feed on me again after that.

Worked a treat for me.

Please don't put your child's life at risk by bed sharing (co-sleeping), I know its bizarrely fashionable on here, but it significantly increases the risk of SIDS.

bmjopen.bmj.com/content/3/5/e002299
There are many more articles which have similar content to the above, if you google- bed sharing SIDS and abstract you will get a list.

But yes, all of my three liked to feed constantly at that age in the evening, which wasn't too bad when it was one, but really difficult when you have three and are trying to do their tea/bath/homework!

I'd let them feed as much as you feel you can take, but also try a dummy. We also introduced a bottle at this stage, so that my DH could give some expressed milk.

Ive been through this, my DD would also scream whenever put down at this age and it was really hard. I second learning to feed lying down, leaving snacks nearby and taking her for a walk in the pram or sling to give yourself a mental break.

I found it got better around 10 weeks maybe when her eyesight got better and she could sit in a bouncy chair while I made a cup of tea and she became more able to pick up and play with things.

9 months old and 2 nights ago fed for two hours before bed! I nearly threw up! Was so tired and worn out!! Can't remember when he was newborn! It's still a sleepy blur months on!!!

Planned bedsharing does NOT increase the risk of SIDS, absolutely not true.
However using a dummy does decrease the SIDS risk.

Mine had been feeding for 5 hours the previous 3 nights . Lash night she decided she’d rather sleep and my boobs feel like absolute boulders. I feel your pain.

Please don't put your child's life at risk by bed sharing (co-sleeping), I know its bizarrely fashionable on here, but it significantly increases the risk of SIDS.

bmjopen.bmj.com/content/3/5/e002299
There are many more articles which have similar content to the above, if you google- bed sharing SIDS and abstract you will get a list.

Please don’t spread misinformation. That study has been widely criticised because they added in missing data using predictive data rather than actual data. You can see the unicef response here...

www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2017/08/UNICEF_UK_statement_bed_sharing_research_210513.pdf

You can also see a vast list of evidence about SAFE cosleeping here.

www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/news-and-research/baby-friendly-research/infant-health-research/infant-health-research-bed-sharing-infant-sleep-and-sids/

Also, this leaflet which has been endorsed by UNICEF, the lullaby trust and ISIS shows that safe cosleeping is no riskier than coy sleeping....

www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2016/07/Co-sleeping-and-SIDS-A-Guide-for-Health-Professionals.pdf

^”Remember, shocking messages that imply that all/any co-sleeping leads to death
are not helpful. They do not reflect the evidence, and they frighten parents and staff , induce guilt and close down honest conversations.”^

Quote fail

Remember, shocking messages that imply that all/any co-sleeping leads to death are not helpful. They do not reflect the evidence, and they frighten parents and staff, induce guilt and close down honest conversations.

IN 2016, 219 BABIES DIED OF SIDS IN THE UK: 0.03% OF ALL BIRTHS
Previous UK data suggests:
■ around half of SIDS babies die while sleeping in a cot or Moses basket.
■ around half of SIDS babies die while co-sleeping. However, 90% of these babies
died in hazardous situations which are largely preventable.

My DD cluster feed for a weekend at 5 weeks. I remember as I was staying with a friend who doesn't have kids and she was shocked at the constant feeding. Get through this and it gets soooo much easier.

@absofrigginlootly there's nothing wrong with giving my baby a dummy at a young age! And my baby still fed every hour for atleast 20mins so he did cluster feed
I honestly didn't mind that he fed the whole time but when he was loosing weight we had to do something. He started screaming for hours because he was starving and my milk wasn't coming in enough. I wasn't just gunna let him be hungry, surely fed is best?
The dummy didn't stop that, my health visitor weighed him then he had a feed and we weighed him again and theres was next to no difference so she suggested formula.
I combi fed but my son preferred the bottle so I just went with that. Far to many health professionals push for breast feeding and yes it is really good if you can do it but you shouldn't feel guilty for not doing it or for giving your baby a dummy! I get you maybe didn't aim it at me but I find your tone patronising as if I just gave up cause I was sick of my baby feeding all the time

My ds was like this at the same age.. He's 9 months now and still feeds alot in the evening but at least we get a few hours in between each feed.
At 5 weeks I ended up putting him in the pram and we walked... And walked and walked in between feed times.. Generally he was happy once the pram started moving.. And if he was hungry he would sure let you know!

I remember this phase,I felt totally inadequate,that maybe I wasn't producing enough milk.I took about 3days then my milk supply upped(dramatically),dd fed less often and settled into a nap pattern and also slept longer at night.
It get easier,also they start smiling around then which gives you a psychological boost too.
The sling was also brilliant as she dozed off nicely in there.

megan I’m sorry I’ve upset you, that was truly never my intention. I didn’t mean my comments to come across as personal but I can see why they did. I can see how quoting what you said makes it seem more personal than I intended, I was more just trying to respond to all the advice on this thread to give a dummy without any cautions as to how it can affect milk supply. I’ve seen so many mums pass on that advice without any awareness of the connection between introducing dummies and bottles and struggling to BF/produce enough milk.

Obviously I don’t know the specifics of your situation and I wasn’t meaning to be overly personal. I’m sorry I will try and be more reflective about what exactly I write in the future

OP

www.laleche.org.uk/safe-sleep-the-breastfed-baby/

My baby is also 5 weeks and feeding non stop I think I’m just going to sit on the sofa with a box set and reside myself to the fact he’s going through a growth spurt

Also get a dummy as it’s probably just the comfort of sucking he needs as well as s growth spurt

I was advised not to give a dummy in the first 6 weeks as all of the baby’s sucking - comfort and otherwise - stimulates your milk production. There was one day around 5-6 weeks when she was on the boob for about 12 hours. I did have to put her down to get food and she screamed but then we snuggled up in bed for the rest of the day. It got better at 6 weeks, then by 12 it was all so easy. I’m still
Bf at 8 months and it’s great. Keep up the good work!

Also “human dummy” is so stupid and actually backwards..,dummy actually means dummy (ie fake) nipple.

I think it can be really hard to give breastfeeding advice as it's such an emotive subject. Megan, obviously you did what was best for you and your baby. You know what worked for you and that's great.

But as Abso said, it's important to have the facts as well. If someone gives their tiny baby a dummy, it is possible to miss feeding cues, and so the body doesn't get the signals it needs to increase milk supply. But if they're aware of that, then it's fine to go with their own judgement.

Same with co-sleeping. Unplanned co-sleeping can be dangerous, but planned co-sleeping is no more dangerous than cot sleeping. You get all the facts, and choose the best way for you.