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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my ex husband actually quite mean?

17 replies

therewillbetime · 29/11/2018 22:32

I know this isn’t a massive issue in the grand scheme of things but would be interested in hearing how others would react.

Back story....I initiated divorce with exH several years ago. I simply didn’t love him anymore even though he was essentially a good man and husband. He was gutted. He became awful over money and it was a tough couple of years. As the years have gone on we have little contact except regarding the kids who are now older teens. They live with me and he is still tight but there you go. On the rare occasions we have met over the years I normally get some sort of patronising comment about being dizzy, or having a mid life crisis, despite now earning twice what he does etc. I have posted about this in the past but things had seemed to improve.
Last week he came into my house, this is extremely rare but he was picking up our son and arrangements changed so he came to the house.
A day later I get a text saying ‘so now you are Miss x eh, ha ha ha’. It took me aback...I changed back to my maiden name over a year ago several years after we divorced (just didn’t get round to it straight after we split). I asked why he had text this and he said he noticed it on a letter when he picked our son up that was on the side. As I mentioned above, it is extremely rare for him ever to set foot in my house, it is not as though we are mates and drop by each other’s! I text back asking why he was actually asking me about this and he said that he just thought I still had his name and how he had always ‘not minded’ if I had kept it. I have ignored him.

I know this isn’t a major issue but it really pisses me off how he actually bothered to take the time to contact me about this and put ‘ha ha ha’. I feel like telling him to fuck off but have always kept my mouth shut for the kids. I just feel like he will be like this at intervals during my life because I left him and I’m sick of it. And also, it makes me particularly uncomfortable because we split over TEN years ago.

OP posts:
whenlifegetshard · 29/11/2018 22:33

Just ignore

SavageBeauty73 · 29/11/2018 22:37

Just ignore. He's trying to get a ride out of you (my ex is the same).

puddled2 · 29/11/2018 22:38

He's after attention , ignore him

MadeForThis · 29/11/2018 22:40

Ignore

SavageBeauty73 · 29/11/2018 23:39

Rise not ride! Oops 🤭

Singlenotsingle · 29/11/2018 23:48

Strange thing for him to do! Maybe he was a bit annoyed? I would just text back a Smile

jxnx · 29/11/2018 23:49

A ride where I live is a leg over hehe he's a prat ignore it

Greensleeves · 29/11/2018 23:53

He's just scrabbling for a paltry crumb of power over you, the sad, pathetic, emasculated weed.

Ignoring him will piss him off. So do that.

furrysheep · 29/11/2018 23:57

Just say 'oh that, yes I changed it back ages ago - couldn't wait!' Smile

furrysheep · 29/11/2018 23:59

He is obviously bothered by it by the way otherwise he wouldn't have texted you. You have bruised his precious ego Wink

Justgivemeasoddingname · 30/11/2018 00:05

Gosh he really hasn't moved on. You have. You can only feel pity towards people who behave this way. Its a shame for him that he feels like this over something which is none of his business he clearly has little else to worry about if he's nosing around your pile of mail.

ThunderInMyHeart · 30/11/2018 00:10

I’d have gone with either a) ignore or b) thumbs up emoji

He needs to let it go! Poor little egomaniac

Bluerussian · 30/11/2018 00:13

He hasn't moved on, is still hurt. I'm surprised you ended it with him frankly, not loving someone any more is hardly a good reason when you have children. You presumably continued to like him.

It's sad but it's done. Just ignore.

BruegelTheEIder · 30/11/2018 00:15

Agree with everyone else. He's being a dick but it's not exactly a massive thing is it? He's trying to get attention, so the best way to piss him off is just to ignore him.

AcrossthePond55 · 30/11/2018 00:30

It'd bother me more that he was looking at my letters, even if they were sitting on the table!

Ignore him. He's not worth the time it would take to text back.

therewillbetime · 30/11/2018 09:26

Thank you for your messages.

I know deep down I should just ignore. It just makes me feel very uncomfortable as I think its quite weird.

Bluerussian - I didn't post asking for comments on why I ended my marriage. Please don't share your unwanted opinion when it was not even asked for.

OP posts:
SexNotJenga · 30/11/2018 09:29

He's not over you, but he knows you're over him. He's trying to provoke a reaction, that's all.

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