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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be totally panicking about going to my dad's wedding

1 reply

Mutinerie · 29/11/2018 15:22

I am supposed to be going to go to my dad's wedding party this weekend.

I have had a bad relationship with him (and my mum) my whole life. He is not fatherly at all, by that I mean he has never shown any sign of putting me or my brother's needs before his own. He has a bad temper and was often quite physically abuse to my mum and me and my brother. He had never shown much interest in my life. My mum died just two years ago and he started seeing his now wife just a few months later.

Here's my bad stuff. My parents are very wealthy and while I think this women is genuine, I can't help wondering if my inheritance is just gone because of this. She is just a couple of years older than me. If h passes then she will get everything. If I was in his place I would have brought this up with my kids and let them know if any thing had been decided/organised for this. Also I have 2 DDs and usually my parents had the habit of sending a very nice bit of money for their birthdays, which are almost at the same time. This year there was nothing, not even a card or call. I mentioned this to my dad and he didn't respond, even to say he forgot. He has the right to not give anything, but I think it's odd, well honestly, bad for a grandfather to not celebrate the birthdays of his only two grandchildren.

Although he got married for a few months ago now (I only know because he sent me a message on Whatsapp with a photo), the party is this weekend. My Dad lives far away I have to take a plane to get there, and his house is very remote, so once there there it can be quite claustrophobic. I booked the ticket months ago and thought nothing of it, but as it approaches I am in a mounting panic about it. I don't know what to do, should I get on the plane?

If I don't go this might be the end of the relationship. Part of me wants to cancel and then write him a long heart felt letter to explain, so maybe it could be the start of a long needed honest conversation.

Dear MNers I am in a state, any advice would be welcome.

OP posts:
Confusedbeetle · 29/11/2018 15:36

This is a sad story and I feel for you. The relationship may well be over if you don't go but it doesn't sound as though it is any good anyway. You may want to keep that little chink open but if you are not bothered don't go. As for the inheritance assume you will not get it . Certainly do not go just to keep that on the agenda. You may need to have that conversation with him but he is going to be on his own planet newly married and may not be very receptive. Let the dust settle

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