What do you do when you get an unexpected Christmas present? Is my solution unreasonable?

[AlpineButterfly]

I have two young boys and this year money is very extremely tight for various reasons. I know for a fact that some will give my boys Christmas gifts but don't really know who.

I don't particularly mind just doing thank you cards for adults and not reciprocating but when they also have a child, I feel I should give a gift in return.

WIBU to buy a collection of 20 books from The Book People and wrap them up individually? That way they'd only cost about £1 each and at least I've thought of something.

It just seems so rude only to give a gift if we get one. I'd probably choose to give none as money is really so tight but you can't just assume someone is going to buy a gift for your child in order to have that "let's not do gifts" conversation. That would be awkward.

Anyone have any sensible and not hideously embarrassing suggestions?

Can't you just tell everyone no gifts and grab a few books (just in case someone doesn't get the memo)

£20 on books is a lot when you are skint?

WIBU to buy a collection of 20 books from The Book People and wrap them up individually? That way they'd only cost about £1 each and at least I've thought of something.

Of course that isn't unreasonable. At christmas DC are overwhelmed with huge quantities of gifts, many of which will end up as landfill without being used. I'd definitely go for the book people bundle if you can afford it, if not how about lovely home made cards?

Can't go wrong with a selection box imo!!

I don't have any children, but due to tight finances I have told everyone who is likely to gift, that I'm not doing presents this year. It's mainly family and knowing them they will be pleased not to have to spend money on me anyway

I will however donate something to charity.

Are you going to get anywhere in the region of 20 surprise gifts??? I agree with the op that seems a lot to spend on ‘just in case’ when you’re skint.
Why not buy a couple of boxes of Maltesers/Matchmakers or large Toblerone/Terry’s Choc Orange and wrap them up? Most supermarkets have got stuff like that on half price so you’d easily get a few things for £1 each.

I do have a fair amount of friends that I see regularly although, I agree, 20 is unlikely and the children are generally a bit young for a box of chocolates.

I guess, if I'm honest, all of my friends that are likely to gift know that DH isn't going to be working, etc. They understand our financial situation. It's just a bit shameful, that's all.

I have a friend who was discussing my boys birthday presents. She's going to be buying both of my boys a present (their birthdays are in the same month). It's her sons birthday a few weeks before but I'm just not sure what to do and how to reciprocate.

yes the book people idea but £10 not £20.

As for the birthday if your children are pre school age then head to home bargains or wilko and you can get crafty/colouring gifts for £3 and under so just get that for your friend's son.

I understand why want to get something for close friends kids if they will buy for yours but 20 kids!?

You can sometimes get 5 books for £5 at the Works if there's one near you, that way you haven't got such a big initial outlay? It sounds like a lovely solution, everyone loves books as you don't need to clear out lots of space to store them!

Can you message your friend that was discussing your DS birthdays to say money is really tight at the moment, especially with Christmas and their birthdays coming up, and would she mind if you both didn’t buy presents this year? It would be slightly odd if she’s specifically told you she’s buying for your DS’s and then you don’t buy hers. Gift giving shouldn’t be about what you receive in return, but tbh I’d be a bit put out if my friend did this. I’d rather she told me if she couldn’t afford it. If you’re good enough friends to be buying presents, I’m sure she’ll understand.

I guess, if I'm honest, all of my friends that are likely to gift know that DH isn't going to be working, etc. They understand our financial situation. I think in this situation you don't need to give a reciprocal gift. Friends may want to treat your kids if they know you are short of cash. Could you make some thank you cards with your boys and give those instead? Tit for tat gift giving is silly if you are skint. If you were my friend I wouldn't want a present in return, but a thank you note from a child is always lovely.

@SingaporeSlinky I'd be embarrassed. I guess where she was just so simplistic in "oh yes, I'm getting your boys a present, I found....."

I sound so ungrateful but my boys want for nothing. We've been given so so many hand-me-down toys, books, clothes, etc.

I'll check out the works, definitely

Then you don’t have many options, if you don’t want to tell friends not to buy your children, then either you reciprocate with cheap gifts or give nothing in return.
Do you have any books already that could pass as new? You could sort through any you don’t need and wrap them.

@SingaporeSlinky that's actually a really good idea!! I have loads of books that are new. They haven't been read yet as DS1 still isn't really into stories and still favours the board books with pictures