To be annoyed she's cancelled on me again?

[beerandwine]

I posted the other day about my friend who I haven't seen for months.
Spends all her days off with husband as he gets lonely and she feels guilty leaving him.
Now he starts work at 12pm daily and today she arranged for him to drive himself to work and she was meeting me at 10am for a few hours ..for a shop and catch-up.
I'm having a few problems with anxiety at min so I was so looking forward to it.
She called this morning saying she couldn't make it as she had to go with him to work.
I said why ?
She said he still hasn't put the Christmas tree/decorations up at his bar (him and his friend rent this bar/rest) so she has to go and do it or it won't get done.
I said your cancelling on me to put a Christmas tree up at his bar? Is he not capable of putting a tree up? (I'm aware that sounds cheeky but I was annoyed )
She said he is but he will get frustrated trying to do it so it's easier I do it.
Would you be annoyed too?

Perhaps you don't understand how hard it is to leave such a toxic relationship?

What are you meant to do?

Educate yourself about the dynamics of abuse and how to support someone being abused.

Then act on that knowledge so you stop making the situation worse.

And stop acting like the world is supposed to revolve around you. It doesn't.

Basically, be a fucking friend to her.

www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/im-worried-about-someone-else/

Www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

If you're a good friend, you'll read these and act upon them.

If you're not, you'll continue bitching about your friend on the Internet and how incredibly inconvenient it is for you that she's being abused.

Honestly I had a friend in a relationship a bit like this. She was constantly letting me down and arranging to do things with the kids then changing her mind and not letting me know.
In the end I gave up. She was incredibly hard work. I refused to have my life dictated by someone else’s husband.
It went on for years and I just got tired of never knowing whether arrangements we made would be cancelled or not. And if they were cancelled whether she CBA to actually tell me.
Weirdly she complained about him by also seemed to revel in waiting on him hand and foot. It was a really weird dynamic.

Perhaps all you can do Op is just keep in touch but not make arrangements?

Does she manage to meet up with others do you know or does she cancel on them also?