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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think mumsnetters have overreacted

156 replies

mother2b · 22/06/2007 12:04

i think that racism is worng and am very anti racism, but i also think that its things like over reacting to chinky when all the poor lady meant was to go for a chinese is what is making our world so overly PC, was a little thoughtless but wasnt meant to be racist.

i just think that its was completely blown out of all proportion!!!

OP posts:
Boco · 22/06/2007 14:53

Well, yes, red herring - i dont' think any religion, institution or individual can ever or should ever be above criticism, but that is so different to hatred / racism / abuse. I also think that we can't really compare how we deal with an individual with how we deal with an institution/ religion. I do agree with you that sometimes to challenge and criticise will be to offend, and that this is necessary and inevitable - and this has to be. But this is another story, it's not relevant to racism.

Original poster
mother2b · 22/06/2007 14:53

madamez, i agree with you completely, that is what this is, a competition to see who can be seen as the least racist!!!

OP posts:
Judy1234 · 22/06/2007 14:56

It's Prince Philip you should be castigating -and his they all have slitty eyes comment.

ahundredtimes · 22/06/2007 14:58

Well, I wasn't really talking about racism exclusively (I think I dealt with how I was on the OP's original comment very early on) I was talking about being 'offended' generally.

And no, of course a christian is insulted personally by attacks on their faith. Their faith is a very personal one, it is who they are.

it's the same thing. it's personally insulting and upsetting. It's offensive. deeply.

UnquietDad · 22/06/2007 15:03

Yes, the problem with trying not to be offensive is that there is always going to someone who's offended by the thing you least expect. Often it can come out of left-field. You may feel it's inappropriate for you to "apologise" for saying something which was not intended in an offensive manner to begin with. It's the intention that counts more than the vocab.

I mean, some people take blasphemy very seriously - e.g. in French, saying "nom de Dieu" (in the name of God) can be seen as worse than "putain", which is roughly equivalent to "fuck". I don't expect to havre to offer up an apology every time I say "God!" or "Christ!" as a mild expletive.

ahundredtimes · 22/06/2007 15:06

No, but - and this is GREAT you said that unquietdad - would you if you realized the person hearing those words found them insulting and offensive?

UnquietDad · 22/06/2007 15:09

I think we'd have a conversation about it. I don't think I would automatically apologise if, for instance, someone found the word "muffin" offensive. Or "carrot". Or "flibbertigibbet".

ahundredtimes · 22/06/2007 15:09

I would I think, but I'd be annoyed that their line of attack was "but I'm soooo offended by that.' Is a thing in our society at the moment, and I don't think it'll end pretty all this sense of personal entitlement to not respected and never ever offended

Desiderata · 22/06/2007 15:11

You simply cannot say the 'muffin' word, UQD.

UnquietDad · 22/06/2007 15:12

Once, as a know-it-all teenager, I was told off by my mum for swearing in the house and I retorted "Well, people in POWER use FAR more offensive words. Words like NUCLEAR DETERRENT. I find those MORE offensive than FUCK."

(Yes, I was an unbearable little shit.)

Quattrocento · 22/06/2007 15:12

there's another bloody thread on this

thread-creation gone mad

we need a thread-nonproliferation treaty. we do really

want to stay with 100x

she's NICE

handlemecarefully · 22/06/2007 15:14

You're not being unreasonable in expressing your opinion.

However you are wrong.

Boco · 22/06/2007 15:19

I guess i do agree with you on some of that 100x [cautious as still a bit confused]

I have a friend who is a mental health social worker - who has also suffered mental illness in the past - and she is deeply offended by the word 'mad'. You can't say 'it's a madhouse in here!' or 'i'm mad about this music atm' etc. She shouts. And huffs. You can't say nuts either.

That does drive me mad actually. She's claiming to be genuinely offended though. I can't take it as seriously - i have my own mental sliding scale of how seriously to take peoples offence - and i'll try to self edit to avoid her being cross, but i don't find it a reasonable argument.

BigGitDad · 22/06/2007 15:25

I like the people who come on here and say 'not another thread on this topic' when all they are doing is extending the topic by adding to it. Surely if you want the topic to go away ignore it?
Anyway for what it is worth, Wigwambam, thank you for showing that link as I had no idea on the origin of the offensive chinese word and was amazed and educated by that link.

potoroo · 22/06/2007 15:28

Welshgirlies - good point

"The defence that a Chinese friend doesn't find it offensive is laughable. There are always exceptions to the rule. It is wise to avoid language that could cause offence"

DH (who is Chinese) sometimes says to me 'You wan flied lice' to mean 'Do you want Chinese takeaway'. However while this might be an acceptable private joke between the two of us, we would never say it to anyone else as I assume that it would be offensive (suzywong quite rightly had a simiilar comment pulled from MN). For this reason, we'd also never say it around DS...

potoroo · 22/06/2007 15:38

BigGitDad
"I like the people who come on here and say 'not another thread on this topic' when all they are doing is extending the topic by adding to it"

Can't speak for everyone else, but I am supposed to be writing an essay, and am using the very effective MN method of procrastination.

Original poster
mother2b · 22/06/2007 15:43

im at work and bored

OP posts:
Quattrocento · 22/06/2007 15:45

Well my post was sort of a sideways swipe at the number of threads. But BGD is mistaken in thinking that I wanted the subject to die. No I wanted the arguments to be condensed.

M2B who started off a thread about eating ones placenta. Slightly distasteful subject but there's no reason why consenting adults shouldn't nosh a bit of placenta - although possibly it should be accompanied by a nice chianti.

Then the placenta thread veered off at a tangent and kicked off. Then someone started a thread about the placenta thread. Then M2B started THIS thread complaining about political correctness gorn maaaad. Then this thread got heated. Then another thread started about this thread.

The point I was making is that there are now at least 4 threads on the subject. There only really needed to be one. It might limit the endless rehashing.

Or then again, it might not.

BigGitDad · 22/06/2007 15:49

I cannot believe this thread is still going on!
Me too at work and very bored, it is Friday afternoon and the weekend is near...

Blu · 22/06/2007 15:50

I would like to line up behind Dino for Boco's autograph.

Original poster
mother2b · 22/06/2007 15:51

look quad, don't fucking blame all of this on me, i just wanted to discuss what people thought on the matter, have heard that people eat their placenta and just wanted to know how common it was, im 20 and having my first baby and dont have all this knowledge just built in my head like im sure you did whe you was born!

i think you're just a trouble maker to be honest, now that thread has died down (thank god) you have to go and stir it up again ffs

OP posts:
Quattrocento · 22/06/2007 15:52

Can anyone remember a film noir of about 20 years ago where some cheeky lovely lively young wench went around saying "up yer bum" all the time?

It has come to mind (not in connection with the anal sex thread) and it's really annoying me...

Original poster
mother2b · 22/06/2007 15:53

are you implying im a wench?

OP posts:
harpsichordcuddler · 22/06/2007 15:53

wish you were here

Quattrocento · 22/06/2007 15:54

That was a cross post btw not a response.