People who won't let you get on with things yourself

[Clothrabbit]

A woman I know just cannot let people get on with stuff they've volunteered to do. She'll interfere, try and take over etc etc. I'm organising the Christmas night out for a group we're involved in and have already booked it and circulated the date.
This morning I was thinking I'll send an email around in the next couple of days to finalise numbers and also inform them of the theme we've picked for the night (just a thing we do related to the activity the group is centred on)

Just now I get a text. Oh do you think maybe you should be getting numbers for the party? And also why don't you sent an email around regarding the theme?

It's always the same. It makes me, and I'm sure others, feel wrong footed and as if she's thinking 'God I have to always prompt people to do everything".

AIBU to find this annoying?

YANBU. A woman in our Choir does this. We have an annual fundraising event and everyone is given a role but she's constantly interfering in other people's jobs, 'reminding' them of stuff that they are well aware they have to do, booking the venue even though someone else has volunteered to to it etc etc.

She's a very nice woman in every other way, but she just cannot stand back and let people do their jobs.

I didn’t realise I was doing this until I had a very blunt employee working for me. He just told me straight up that he found it really frustrating and I was actually really pleased to get that feedback. It helped me improve my Management style. So i think you should tell them how you feel in as nice a way as you can.

Ime while incredibly annoying this kind of fussing is usually down to anxiety. Which is, of course, an irrational response to a situation. Which means that regardless of what you do or say, they won't stop.

Simply respond: "It's all under control" and ignore all future interfering messages from her.

I think a lot of people like that see themselves as the 'mum' of the group and don't realise they're treading on toes or undermining people.