Sorry in advance for the length of this.
My Dad was waiting for a diagnosis on a lump on his neck when I went in to be induced for Dd2. My parents were due to come and look after Dd1 during this time, due to my Dads appointments they were unable to do this. Fortunately PIL were able step in. Unfortunately the induction was not straight forward. After 4 days being in hospital it was declared a failed induction and I had to have a Csection. We also got the news that Dad had cancer and due to the rate the lump was growing would start chemo as soon as a bed was ready. It was difficult timing as my parents were unable to see there new grandaughter and I was recovering from surgery and unable to travel to them (1 and half hour driv). After I went home I got mastitis and my csection wound was infected so was quite unwell and had to take antibiotics. I did however manage to visit at 3 weeks. Dad was just finishing his first round of chemo. We drove to my parents, picked Mum up and then did the 40min drive to the hospital and back so we could visit the Saturday. He came out the Sunday and we did the same 40min journey to and from the hospital to pick Dad up and then had the journey home. A lot of traveling for a toddler and small baby. Then 2 weeks later I became really ill and ended up in hospital with a kidney infection and near sepsis. Had to spend a night without Dd2, before they moved me to a ward where she could be with me. As a breastfed baby this was extremely difficult. I was in hospital for a week. During this time we got more results for my Dad and found out that the cancer has spread and he was going to have to have an extremely intensive course of chemo. He was going to need to be in hospital for a total of 6 weeks over a 12 week period. The hospitals a 40min drive from parents home and my Mum isn’t a big driver so the visiting would be tough on her. After my week in hospital I had to keep a canular in and visit the hospital daily for introvenous antibiotics for a further 5 days. My Dad also started his intensive chemo. Despite recovering from my own illness, my DH working full time and having a toddler and a small baby during the chemo we have done our best to be there at weekends and give my Mum a break from the driving. Mum preferred us to be there when Dad was in hospital so she could have the break and also company. Between myself and DSis (who lives 3/4 hours away and has primary school aged kids) we have managed to cover nearly all weekend while Dad was in hospital. Unfortunately after his 3rd block after being sent home Dad got very ill and couldn’t get out of bed. Mum went round to next door neighbor for help getting him to hospital. Male next door neighbor was great and drove them there. My Dad was admitted back to hospital. I came to visit that weekend, my Dad was in a bad way and it was really quite upsetting. Neighbors were about when we got back from the hospital and I thanked male neighbor for his help. Female neighbor said ‘well it’s not like you’re ever here’. I was so taken aback I didn’t really say anything. It made me feel guilty even though I know we’ve done our best to be there as much as possible. Realistically we can’t be there as much as we would like. All the traveling has been a lot for Dd’s and my poor toddler spends a lot of time role playing hospitals. I certainly wish she hadn’t of had to spend so much time in them. Should I have called next door neighbor an evil witch and told her to mind her own business...