Birthday party RSVP's

[Happy7777]

Am I over reacting(?) I feel so upset that our party invitation given to one of my child's preschool friends - who's mother see's me almost daily as she works at the preschool (and knows who I am) hasn't bothered to respond. I then find out from my child's key worker after numerous requests to chase up RSVP (who is actually said mother's best friend) that yes, the child will come along, but another parent will be bringing him.. Is this extremely rude or is this acceptable behaviour?? :-(

It would have been polite for her to answer much sooner, but it's not rude to have someone else bring the child to the party

When is the party,? At least you got an answer at last as some don't ever reply

It is annoying when people don't RSVP - especially when it's obviously a pay per person deal, but apparently it's one of those things that's rude but socially acceptable.

I don't know what relevance it is that someone else is bringing him to the party? That happens all the time, people have other things to do and other kids to look after so I don't see the issue with a child bringing bought by another parent.

Not replying to an RSVP on time is rude, yes. It happens though.
Another parent bringing their child to the party isn’t rude. If my DC has been invited to the same party as friends DC’s we often take it in turns to go with them.

You will have to toughen up a bit with regards to birthday parties though. It's normal to get quite a few who don't bother to RSVP, or who leave it till the last minute (presumably to see if they get a better offer). Some people are also just busy and forget (fair enough).

What does it matter that another parent will be bringing them?

Thank you ladies! I just guess I'm upset that she could organise and arrange for someone else to bring her child. But not let the host know..

It is rude but it happens.

Bad manner imo but this is the beginning of the joys of parenting

Thank you ladies! I just guess I'm upset that she could organise and arrange for someone else to bring her child. But not let the host know..

To be fair perhaps it took longer for her to reply because she was trying to find someone who could take DC? I hate it but some people just never ever RSVP, even if they know full well that they definitely can/can't come so it's definitely something to get used to.

‘Someone else’? It’s the other parent. But yes I agree she should have replied.

You don't need to know that someone else is bringing them. You just need to know they are coming at all

Maybe as simple as she has a lot on her plate and thought she’d told you, then when someone asked she realised and just said ‘can you tell them yes but X will be bringing them please’. I think you are over thinking this. (I’m sure I’ve over the years forgotten to say our children won’t attend or have taken them and forgotten to RSVP. It’s not intentional. It’s just having so much on!!)

Maybe she couldn't reply until she had found someone to take the child

Hang on, did you hound the nursery worker to chase up the RSVP From another parent?

You have all been really helpful, so yes,
I'm overreacting... Guess it's pre party nerves!!

I have sympathy OP. I dread birthday parties every year!

Maybe she is busy and forgot - I don't suppose your party invite was at the top of her list of priorities!

No, I didn't hound!! I asked on Monday, then again this morning. It's because the party has a max number of attendees (due to safety) I couldn't invite all of my child's friends sadly, so wanted to know if this child was coming or not..

Thank you ladies! I just guess I'm upset that she could organise and arrange for someone else to bring her child. But not let the host know..

Somebody else bringing her child is quite normal. Some people cannot attend parties because they have other children to look after and balance work (this sometimes means it is the other parent who comes along and other times is a grandparent or friend). If anything I think it is better that it is another parent who I am (hopefully correctly) interpreting was going to be there anyway.

I do agree that it is rude not to reply to you and for it to be through your child’s key worker. Next time, once the RSVP date has past, assume the child will not be attending.

Was is passed the rsvp date?

I quite often don’t know if mine can go to a party due to childcare for the sibling, DH and I often work weekends, there’s all sorts of reasons why we take time to reply. And we tend to take it in turns who gets to be the one to take.

Who did you ask on Monday and this morning?

Thank you all for your helpful comments! I can put this one to rest now...