To sometimes find 'woe is me' posts annoying

[dancinginthehall]

Not all the time, sometimes they're very relevant to a thread and add a new perspective to a subject.

But sometimes on a thread where someone is wondering about say, someone having their music switched up too high on the train so it's seeping through the headphones and you have a poster who comes on and says:

"Well that could have been me this morning OP because I'm recovering from the flu, have a ds who wakes up at 3am every morning, a Manager who hates me and a landlord who hasn't fixed the washing machine despite SIX phone calls in the last two weeks. So sorry if me trying to listen to some music and accidentally turning it up too high offends you, but actually I have more important things on my mind."

AIBU to just find these tirades a bit irritating?

I've clearly included myself in the unnecessary whinging circle of MN life, so I'm not particularly serious in my point.

Oh, go on then, I'll piss off and allow you to ruminate over such serious matters in peace.

Okay, apologies then. It read as if you were having a go, but obviously you weren't.

NottonightJosepheen - tangential vignettes is an awesome phrase (& is also what I enjoy about MN). I am going to try to work it into conversation regularly.

I love the martyrs and virtue signallers, especially around Christmas. The best one ever was a poster who told an OP to give the house she inherited from her grandmother to the sitting tenants because they deserved it more. Second place goes to an OP who wanted to know whom she should contact about a homeless person who had broken into and taken up residence in the garden shade of her elderly mother who had mental problems and was told to go out and give him bedding and flasks of soup and tea and 'welfare packs'. It made for excellent reading!

The mum martyrs are hilarious, too. An OP who's married to an utterly selfish manchild twat had just had a complex delivery with a stint in HDU afterwards, two other kids at home and the manchild has invited his entire family to stay with them for a week the day the OP and baby arrive home. Cue dozens of people advising her to 'knock up' 'bung/chuck/sling' meals for the lot of them with a smile because well, when I gave birth to triplets through my anus I had ebola, but that didn't stop me from being Queen Stepford Wife and feeding a battalion for a week with a side of breastmilk at every meal.

If a person is struggling with real issues, death, serious illness, chemo, and then read that someone is having a drama over something petty it makes you feel like grabbing them and shaking them to make them realise how lucky they are - that they only have a minor issue.

I felt this, so much, when I'd had a terrible few years with dd's health. I silently screamed "FUCK OFF SOME OF US HAVE REAL PROBLEMS" in my head so many times. But I try to keep in mind that for some people, this issue IS the worst thing that's ever happened to them, and how lucky are they.

I'll admit I do eye roll at PFB posts like "dd has a temp of 37.5, no other symptoms, currently sat in A&E, can I have a hand hold" but I click off and ignore.

YANBU. There are some people who just love constantly telling everyone about their woes, no matter how irrelevant to the thread, or indeed how lighthearted the thread.

There's one going at the moment about people putting up their trees in November and amidst the 'it's my own business when I put up the tree. I love it and it brightens up the gloomy evenings' posts there are the usual 'we have all been ill with a tummy bug in this house, the budgie died last week and my DD has been inconsolable because she's playing a palm tree in the Nativity play. Putting up the tree has provided joy in our misery and I can't believe people would want to deny us that' type stuff.

It makes my teeth itch.

I know what you mean. There are some posters who just seem to love guilt tripping people - oh look at how hard my life is, and you grudge me a bit of music/a Christmas tree in November.

I feel I should have sympathy for them but I just find them whiney and annoying.

YANBU. As PP have said, the ‘I lost my mum last year and would give anything to see her again’ in response to ‘my mum hits me and abuses me’ is a particularly annoying one.

I think it arises from self-centredness though. Some people can’t read or hear anything without having to relate it to them in some way.

yanbu not at all

does my head in especially when they derail the thread

Someone will always reply about how their mother has died and they would give anything for another Christmas

oh god yes

another"my auntie died that i havent seen for 10yrs and has left me £2million i would give it away in a heart beat just to see her again""

nobody says of course im not giving it up,didnt like her anyway"

dontalltalkatonce I am crying with laughter at your giving birth through your anus!!

I have tears running down my face I am laughing so hard. I don't understand those ridiculous 'I would give my inheritance away to have my ___ back for one minute'. Maybe I am a bitch but I would rather have the cash.

Yes I know what you mean OP.

Ages ago, I once used the phrase "life's too short" on an MN post, and someone replied "actually, for me, life is too short. I have a terminal illness". I was like WTF? That's obviously terrible for you, but does it really mean I can't use a standard English phrase without you making me look like a twat?

I hate the guilt trippers. I sometimes call them out, turn it around, and ask them why they want to make the OP feel bad. Haven't had any of them answer though.

It's attention seeking a lot of the time. I know some of the people who do it have real problems, but there's almost a gloating 'so put that in your pipe and smoke it' tone to some of their posts. They're not really upset by the OP but have just seen an opportunity to make things all about themselves and try and make anyone who is annoyed about some everyday thing feel ashamed and wrong footed.

I actually just skim over posts like that now, because rightly or wrongly, I find them really irritating.

The worst one I seen was a woman who made a thread - a trite complaint about her husband and a woman responds that her husband has been dead for 25 years then complaining about awful her life is because of her dead husband. Op responds full of sympathy. Very odd.

I got one of these once in response to a poster not agreeing with my opinion. Weak!

Oh, I just remembered another cracker! An OP had a room she let on AirB&B with a strict NO CHILDREN UNDER 10 policy because her home wasn't safe for children. Got a sort of flakey booking. Gal shows up with a toddler at about 9pm and proceeds to royally kick off when the OP doesn't allow her in, to the point where the police were called by neighbours. Cue posts berating her as if she'd eaten babies and tales of how they'd let her in, feed her and the child a feast and give up their own bed for them, forever, because of course, no one's ever just a twat, she was definitely fleeing abuse, had nothing, etc.

Yep, very annoying.

I mean, I'm very sorry your child has ADHD, your MIL is toxic and your husband's about to be made redundant, but that doesn't mean I can't get annoyed about someone skipping the queue in Tesco.

“You’re lucky you have ears to put the headphones on. Not everyone does. I lost them in a traumatic earmuffs amputation accident when I was 8. You should think of the earless before you post.”

I remember that one Don'tall!

That thread was hilarious, Motoko. So was the 'Give your grandmother's home that you inherited to the tenants' - it will give you such a good feeling, it's 'the kind thing'. LOL. Pure humour there.

Hahah there was a post the other day with someone basically asking for inspiration as she had gone off food and the first response was “give all your food to food bank” wtaf

Do you ever wonder though if the “misery toppers” do it in real life?

I remember one post where the OP complained that her DH had startled her. She took some stick for that