To think about taking a demotion?

[afrikat]

I currently have a very senior job in a national company. I worked really hard to get here and until recently loved it. Over the past couple of years however I have developed ME which I am just about able to manage as long as I rest outside of work, but it leaves very little time for anything else. I have two young kids who I feel I never spend quality time with and I'm starting to question whether I can continue in this role. It has alot of stress and responsibility, manages a difficult team and I have a new boss who is utterly awful. Classic narcissist, misogynist, you name it. He's making things very hard.

I've just been chatting to a peer who has a job opening he would be happy to hand me on a platter if I wanted it. Lower band so less money (though not massively), no team to manage and he is very understanding of my health issues and will offer full flexibility to do the job how and when I want.

I have no idea if I can make the move though. Health issues aside the thought of taking a step backwards feels so wrong and I am worried about undoing all the work I put in to get where I am. I am also worried about the perception of me in the business. I currently make all the strategic decisions in my specialist area and I would go to being one of the 'doers' and I am finding it hard to come to terms with that

But if I don't make the move what then? Stay in a job that is affecting my health and causing me to miss out on family time? There is no guarantee however that the new job would be magically easier. I'm sure it will have it's own challenges

Aargh any advice??

I stepped away from my career due to my health. It took over a year of agonising over the decision and a bit of therapy. But now I’m on the other side I am so glad I did it.

Money is sometimes a worry but nothing is as precious as health.

I recently put a post up about having ME. I also in a senior role, worked hard and for years to get to it, have 2 young children. I didn't stop when I really should have and am now off work. If you have a chance to move now I'd say do it. I am now almost bed bound. You have to listen to your body. Don't do what I did and leave it too late as I now have a very long road ahead to get well.

I essentially took a demotion about 6 months ago for various reasons. Money is a bit tighter but still doable. Best decision I ever made! Health is so important. If you don't have that it doesn't matter how much money you have or what your position is. Ditto what is the point of having a great job but never having any family time? Do what is right for you, right at this moment. Not what you think you "should" do.

In your position I wouldn't hesitate.

Try it for a year, if you want to step back up you can put a spin on it (wanted to refresh specific hands on skills, get experience on specific project type, wanted to work more closely with X to tackle development area Y, heck, or just be honest and say you did it alongside caring commitments whilst some interim thing "but don't worry that was finite dear employer" was happening like a partner having a major change at work or something).

Very tough.

The boss alone is reason to look elsewhere I know.

I took that step and it didn't work for me as in, I can't get back up there now but different person, different career.

What does work and status mean to you?

Like you say no guarantee the other role would not present similar challenges or not work out ?

Weirdly I have alarm bells ringing about a peer selling you a demotion though? I could be reading way too much into that though!

Thanks for the thoughts so far. I'm starting to think I might be excited about the opportunity actually. The remit is wider than my current one which gives me chance to develop and may open more doors in the future if and when my health improves. Had another chat with the manager and he's made it clear I'll have complete autonomy and flexibility but I there would be more travel than now which may trigger a crash so I need to do some serious thinking!